Relationship Is It Ptsd?

[Pamela2016]

Hello,

While I was searching for some answers i found this thread. I married a Marine 12 years ago when I was 19. He went overseas to Iraq twice where I know he saw horrible things ( he was in the infantry unit). He has been out of the military for 8 years now. My life was great until 6 months ago when I found out he was cheating on me. We been trying to work things out but all the sudden he tells me he doesn't love me any more. I taught it could be that he is still thinking of the other person but he assures me that is not the case. He has been stressed because some financial difficulties we had and other job related problems. Also I have an ongoing condition that causes me to feel ill all of the sudden. Could it be that he just got tired of everything and he really doesn't love me any more? or can it be PTSD because of all the recent stress he has been going thru?
We have 2 kids that needs their parents together but i don't want to keep fighting for the relationship if his love is really gone.
Any advice greatly appreciated

 

[casseti]

Hello,

While I was searching for some answers i found this thread. I married a Marine 12 years ago...

This is all serious stuff. If you're serious about fixing your problems, you need to immediately seek help from professionals. Find a local PTSD therapist, marriage counselor, and doctors.

 

[J'qel]

Casseti is right. You should seek counselling if he's willing. He may not be. Remember, you can only direct your actions. He has to want things to work on them.

 

[Sweetpea76]

It's hard to say... does he have any symptoms that lead you to believe it is PTSD, or just the affair and shift in your relationship?

 

[Pamela2016]

It's hard to say... does he have any symptoms that lead you to believe it is PTSD, or just the affai...

Well he looks sad and depressed. He says he feels ashamed of what he did to me because I always been great to him and that I don't deserve a person like him. He is a very quiet person but the other day we went to see patriot movie and he came out of the movie theater angry and almost crying ( which I never saw before)

 

[Sweetpea76]

Not everybody who has Trauma develops PTSD.

It is perfectly normal to have remorse after having an affair and betraying your spouse. It is also normal for a vet to get choked up or angry when thinking about "their war".

It could be PTSD, or it may not be. It isnt helpful to self diagnose and play armchair psychiatrist.

Often times people look for reasons or excuses as to why their partner cheats. It's part of the denial step of grieving. "There has to be a reason for him/her to have done this... they would never in their right mind cheat on me." My exhusband was a cheater. I understand the knee jerk reaction is to try and figure out "why". I understand that you're shocked and grieving your marriage. It sucks.

Even if he has PTSD, cheating is not a symptom. It's a bad coping mechanism for dealing with stress. He still ultimately made the decision to cheat. It doesn't excuse his actions.

The best thing to do, if you truly believe he has PTSD, would be to send him to the VA so they can asses him.

 

[Pamela2016]

Not everybody who has Trauma develops PTSD.

It is perfectly normal to have remorse after having an...

We are going to see someone at the VA this week. Sometimes I think I may be the one that needs help for wanting to be with a man that has hurt me in so many ways

 

[Sweetpea76]

Affairs are devastating. It's only natural to feel betrayed and thrown off kilter.