Depression And Change

[IamFree]

Hello guys feeling scared right now I made a big what I believe/ believed is a positive change I imagined it was going to feel great but actually I am feeling depressed right now...is depression a normal reaction to change.

 

[Netsy]

Hello guys feeling scared right now I made a big what I believe/ believed is a positive change I imagi...

maybe Something has triggered you off otherwise you wouldnt be feeling down

 

[IamFree]

yeah part of the change was the end of a toxic but long close friendship. perhaps there is some greif coming into play

 

[Netsy]

Same has just happened to me. We have friends who forget their boundaries. Our strength comes when we say NO ! . We mourn as we have lost a friend. I have had a mate with me who has drained me mentally and physically because its as if I am the weak one, and basically she says I pity party all the time about my ways and told me not to talk about anything to her about PTSD as she is sick of it. I feel she has has used me unconditionally to do everything for her, manipulated me into her world of being there for her through her journey of chaos... So over the weekend, my heart sank, when she compared me to her very rich friend and other friends, I was worth very very little like a teeeennnnyyyy weeeennnnny little ant... sorry I have to make myself laugh. She has lost a very rich friend in her life, our friendship is fractured. We have been friends for over 30 years. She has her baggage which I wont carry anymore. I told her in tears How she has hurt me, and I was her best friend ever. I hope we can rekindle our friendship as 30 years is a long time, however she needs to understand me and respect me. I hate being left out in a conversation and being talked over. I fell into a deep depression over the weekend because she had triggered me to my past - when I was abused and was subjected to cruelty and told not to talk. I do know now that this Forum is where I can talk and be who I am because I am not the only one out there with 'baggage' PTSD C... its actually our life and what we have been through. We do have a voice!.... so hang in there and say well done ' I am okey and I am strong. Take care and be kind to yourself - dont let tears hold you back

 

[Sideways]

the end of a toxic but long close friendship.

Grief would be a normal and healthy response to a situation like that. There's loss, things not working out as well as you'd hoped, grief for the damage it's caused you, grief for all the great things that you'd wanted the friendship to be, but wasn't.

Grief and depression are best buddies, so be gentle with yourself. Lots of self care (and self compassion) if you can. What you're feeling sux, but it's a normal feeling for the situation, it's appropriate to feel down about it for a while. When you're in a shite situation, it's okay to feel shite for a while.

And then at some point you move through it. The ended friendship becomes part of your past, instead of your 'right now'. You end up learning from it, and where the hole is, you get the chance to start filling up with better stuff.

 

[Netsy]

Grief would be a normal and healthy response to a situation like that. There's loss, things not...

I need to hear that - thanks very much :-)

 

[The Albatross]

Yeah, when initiating change... dread/depression or grief can come into play because it's a veer away from the habitual or behavioral hardwiring and new or unfamiliar territory can be uncomfortable until it is normalized.