Act & Did: Can It Work?

[Sideways]

Just wondering whether anyone has had success with Acceptance & Committment Therapy, particularly those with DID?

2 of the big stumbling blocks that I seem to have with ACT are:
1) The things that make me dysfunctional seem to stem from underlying core beliefs, which are influencing me on a subconscious level, making it difficult to apply ACT. The thoughts & feelings aren't nearly as distressing or difficult to challenge as the underlying beliefs that give rise to them. Anyone come up against this as well? Suggestions?

2) Problematic thoughts, but more especially problematic feelings, seem to be locked away amongst my various parts. Has anyone with DID had trouble with this? Has anyone found that ACT can still be helpful when there's DID in the picture as well?

Suggestions and experiences with ACT are very welcome. I like the theory, and I (think I) use thought defusion pretty well when I get anxiety and panic in public. But I keep coming to the conclusion that it's not really all that helpful with core beliefs, or the distressing feelings that are locked away with my alters...which are the main issue...:banghead:

 

[Muted]

I'm sorry, I'm not familiar with ACT @Ragdoll Circus , but it sounds really interesting...

 

[Sideways]

@Gia1019 - it is. I've come back to it for the umpteenth time to see if it's got something to offer me, because it's theoretically designed as a better alternative for healing for those of us who love to just avoid stuff:rolleyes:

DID is all about avoidance, so in theory, it should work...only, it doesn't seem to really have that kind pathological avoidance in mind...???:confused::tdown:

 

[ladee]

Hanging out with ya while ya wait for answers. Missed you! Yucky hugs!

 

[Sideways]

@ladee - you're awesome:)

But that's the point, yeah? Hugs - cue dysfunctional response. But the response, the feelings that go with the thoughts, they're coming from an underlying belief about my toxic-evilness that's so ingrained that I'm not even aware that it's been triggered until I run it by my T.

Love the good chi vibes coming from eastern-inspired psychology. Just not convinced he had DID and over-active amygdalas in mind when Buddha was writing his thesis!

 

[Muted]

@Gia1019 - it is. I've come back to it for the umpteenth time to see if it's...

You not avoiding it, if you keep coming back to it:playful:!

Isn't pathological avoidance an autistic thing?

 

[whiteraven]

I am working with ACT to a small extent, and incorporate a heavy amount of mindfulness into my daily routine, and it is the only thing that has helped me.

We are approaching this in a slightly different way than you might be, in that our therapist is a Zen priest and his *way* is very non-confrontational and we are more concerned with functionality than we are with anything else. But I, as the host, primarily work with the program, i.e., learn to accept and understand the beliefs that are held as core beliefs and then try to influence the others in also trying to understand them. This is a very long and arduous process. With some, it seems they are locked into their beliefs and just not letting go. So what I have been learning to do is remain open and understanding to my insiders' belief systems, while separating from them. For example (and this is kind of a mild example), one of my littlest insiders thinks that all boys (men) are "stupid" and so she is distrusting of anyone of the male gender. She yells loudly inside every time we are around anyone male "boys are stupid" or something similar. (Very annoying and distracting!) Over time, I've some to learn to just sit with her and to be open up to her when she does this. I've gone from getting extremely anxious and scared and panicky around men, to very comfortable. I've learned, in being open to her, that her belief that "boys are stupid" comes from fear and, more specifically, from several things that happened when we were younger. So, *I* can take that and respond differently. She hasn't changed, but *I* have. And I'm much more functional.

I don't know if this is relative or not. I do know it requires a lot of communication with those inside, and I don't know how you are in that area. But for me, this really helps.

In terms of thoughts and feelings being locked away, I find that the more work *I* do, the more open and receptive I am and the less hidden my insiders are. They are more willing to come to the front, to talk, to share, to work on their own stuff. So it works in a kind of indirect way.

Not sure this was of any help, but I thought I'd share a small piece of how we manage.

 

[Muted]

Wow, that is extremely interesting and insightful @whiteraven !

I'm glad you shared that, I'm new to the whole parts thing and am just learning to work with my parts. I'm starting to recognize them and that's been helpful, because then I can talk to them and deal with them when I need to.

 

[whiteraven]

Wow, that is extremely interesting and insightful @whiteraven !

I'm glad you share...

Always happy to talk about this with anybody. I've been dealing with dissociation and DID for a long time and, while I believe every individual is different in how they manage it, we all have experiences that may prove helpful along the way.

 

[Sideways]

Not sure this was of any help, but I thought I'd share a small piece of how we manage.

A lot of help - can I ask, is your T incorporating that inner communication with parts into the model of ACT he's teaching, or is that something you've had to do yourself? So far, I've had to try and adapt ACT to having DID, and it's not easy (ie hasn't clicked at all yet!)?

 

[whiteraven]

A lot of help - can I ask, is your T incorporating that inner communication with parts into the...

I mostly do it on my own. My T is kind of hands-off where my insiders are concerned. I mean, he accepts them, completely, and he talks to them when they present themselves, and works with them, but he doesn't force anything. That's pretty much his approach with everything, likely his Buddhist background. It can be maddening at times, but I believe that in the long-run, it is the best approach for us. The only issue I have with it (and I don't mean to say that it isn't a HUGE issue, because right now it is) is that during times when things are tremendously bad, we are simply not strong enough to maintain this on our own.

One of the issues I have with my T is that he has this "it's up to you to make yourself happy" attitude. It took me probably close to a year to get him to pull out the info on ACT (and it was a friend of his that developed it), because he was waiting around for me to tell him what I needed. Gods, that was just not helpful at all. And part of that, I think, is because I have DID and, well...we are complex.

 

[Arebas]

I recently learned that's the therapeutic approach my T has. I know, I should have asked earlier but I went into therapy for what was one tiny impulse control issue that exploded in my face with dissociation and parts and huge neglect trauma and I was so not ready for that.
So far, the hardest thing for me is the acceptance. Some days it makes sense, some days I just want everything about me to be different and acceptance seems so stupid. Accept that lousy feeling of being invisible and insignificant and worthless and let it be... There's a reason for feeling that, do not run away from it. Yeah. I want to pay someone to tell me to accept that I am worthless! Then a more logical part takes over and I see why I need to let that feeling exist and let it happen but the logic of it, I can't seem to be able to share with the emotional parts that are stuck in the past. My T doesn't really know how to deal with my parts so I am all by myself dealing with them.
I really liked reading the replies. I'm sorry I can't be helpful here but I'll stick around, reading.