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Just Sent This To My Therapist. Count Down To Downhill

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Do you mean you regret telling him that you're leaving? or did he end up getting your message from yesterday?
 
Awww I'm so sorry! That's the last thing you need. I'do be pretty angry too.

Did you have the chance to talk to your therapist about it first? I mean get some strategies that might help communicating your abuse to him?
 
Sounds like some support from a trusted therapist might be what you need. Your plate is more than full.

Hard to know how to separate things. Where to put your focus. Your well-being is more important than his. Focusing on your needs will effectively help you most in dealing with the kids and managing your own responses. This is no doubt raising your stress/anxiety level a lot. Lowers your threshold to be able to work with your skills.

When can you get an appointment?
 
stp2012 said:
Sounds like some support from a trusted therapist might be what you need. Your plate is more than full...
Click to expand...
I'm not sure. I haven't contacted her. She's been in her words "past busy" and last month she contacted me with an appointment time and she hasn't contacted me yet this month.
 
What type of frequency or scheduling do you usually have with her? Are there fixed dates before hand? Do you ever communicate in between sessions? How long has it been since you last saw her?

I know it's a lot of questions.
 
I echo @stp2012 's questions and in the meantime I'll just share my experience with timing so you can see how it can go - like everyone said, timing is definitely your own individual preference.

I did 3 bouts of therapy in my 20s (one b/c I was in grad school for MFT and it's a requirement) but stopped for about 10 years thinking I was done. My CPTSD didn't become debilitating until last year when I started admitting the sexual component of the childhood abuse from my mother. I joined healing modalities and programs and dealt with it there b/c I could still work and travel, but then last fall I completely couldn't function in daily life and still can't drive now.

After I recovered just enough (2 months of nonstop tremors and people helping me stay fed), my recovery group leader recommended EMDR to me so I immediately found a therapist through a stressful week of phone calls with insurance and practitioners. I found one and immediately started and then asked for 2x a week after once a week was not enough. I even wrote him after our first session to ask him that.

My T is a recovering perfectionist and also a wounded healer who had gone through EMDR so he is very present and tries to respond within 24 hours or immediately if possible. That's just his style. Everyone else can sometimes wait a days, I've heard that too.

For me b/c I'm in what I consider a crisis situation - I live alone and a low-earner so not being able to work or drive is severely limiting my life and making it impossible for me to get out of a living situation I don't fully enjoy - I got a therapist under my insurance that can see me 2x a week b/c 1) I really want to get treated asap to become functional again. If you are functional you may be ok with much less than that. I unfortunately am not functional in a normal way. 2) My ACA is probably over by the end of the year so I have an external time pressure to heal as quickly as possible before I may not be able to pay for this guy and need to think of something else.

I always recommend people go with the therapist that has a style they prefer for their particular symptoms. I know I need someone who is okay with me getting in contact with him if I completely lose it during this process. I asked him early on if I could do that and he said to call him if I was having a freak out. If you need that, you can look for that or ask about that, if it's within your insurance means.

Much support to you,
Sophia
 
stp2012 said:
What type of frequency or scheduling do you usually have with her? Are there fixed dates before hand?...
Click to expand...
Used to be once a week until my winter layoff. I went to once a month and i text and email but she doesn't always respond. I used to go every Tuesday.
 
So you pretty much had weekly sessions and then went suddenly to monthly. Was there a transition period? Time to adjust? Was this an agreed upon arrangement or a one way decision? I agree with @SophiaWisdom in that if you need to reach out in between sessions, then some type of arrangement needs to made possible. Perhaps that's something that should be addressed during your next session.

How are things with your husband now?
 
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