Trust

[Rose Hamblin]

Does anyone have experiences of overcoming trust issues that has PTSD? Any advise would be appreciated. Thanks!

 

[Eagle3]

I'm a lot better at trusting now. At least, I'm a lot more aware of being able to identify who I can trust and who I can't. Basically, I started off with small things, and taught myself to trust all over again, making sure to see people as who they are in that moment and not let my past experience dictate what I let myself see in that moment. Its kind of like a flashback...I have to stay grounded in the moment and see what IS, not what I saw or experienced in the past. It takes time, but its doable.

 

[asadafagahajakal]

My wife and i both have trust issues. But we trust each other with our lives which is why neither of us keep secrets from each other. But we both have a hard time finding loyal friends, but idk, it might have something to do with being in a small town and everyone starts rumours.

But you know, my wife and i are pretty good at picking up red flags, so i prefer to call my trust issues the gift of discermnent.

 

[Rose Hamblin]

I'm a lot better at trusting now. At least, I'm a lot more aware of being able to identify who I can trust...

Thank you.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

I have huge problems with trust. Even when I know that I can trust someone, I still have trouble trusting completely- if that makes any sense. For me though I try to look at facts- has this person ever betrayed me, hurt me, etc and if the answer is yes, then measuring out the degree to which it is true. Was it a little hurt that you can get because relationships are like that or is it a big hurt that deserves trust to be taken away. And I think for me it was learning that I don't have to trust everyone with everything in order to have a relationship of some kind and I can slowly let whatever information I want to share out. I don't know if that helps at all, but it has helped me.

 

[Rose Hamblin]

I have huge problems with trust. Even when I know that I can trust someone, I still have...

Thank you. I am going to try this out.

 

[LadyZane]

Yes, because I never learned what trust is supposed to feel like. I didn't have any reliable adult presence in my life besides my mom, and she was emotionally unstable and verbally abusive and obviously couldn't be trusted either for life advice or with my feelings. In fact, the day I decided to go no-contact with her was a day I consciously decided to try trusting her with a difficult emotional problem -- my cat was seriously ill and I didn't know what to do. She turned it into a huge fight about how irrational I was being and haughtily declaring over and over that she wasn't giving me money for vet bills. I hadn't asked her for money at all. I did express distress over the size of the vet bills and how I'd be able to pay them, but I was looking for advice or ways to manage the bills that maybe I hadn't though of--you know, what most people consider "supportive" behavior. (I'd also never once asked her for money ever before in my life, so it's not like it was a pattern and she just assumed that's where it was going). I realized this was all I would ever be able to expect from her, and that dealing with a devastating problem was bad enough without someone you try to trust actively making it twice as hard, and I ended the relationship

I've only ever known how to rely on myself. I tend to end up in relationships with emotionally needy people who aren't capable of reciprocating, and I end up taking care of them AND taking care of myself again, probably because I don't know how to do anything else. I also have a tendency to become quickly "turned off" by potential friends as soon as I spot a personality flaw--someone talks too much about stuff I'm not interested in, thinks viral videos of people embarrassing themselves are funny, or even wastes too much food! It's like any excuse to dismiss someone, even though I really want to connect. I know it's connected to this idea of trust somehow. I wish I understood it better.

 

[Rose Hamblin]

Yes, because I never learned what trust is supposed to feel like. I didn't have any reliable adult pre...

I can relate to you. I was hurt as a child by my mom. I actually was taken out of her home and placed in foster care.

I've had to rely on myself a lot as well. I find it hard to maintain close friends. I can make friends. I guess I just feel this void in my life.

Yes, because I never learned what trust is supposed to feel like. I didn't have any reliable adult pre...

I can relate to you. I had to distance myself from my mom as well. I want so bad to naturally trust people.

 

[Freedomfighter]

Does anyone have experiences of overcoming trust issues that has PTSD? Any advise would be apprec...

Well, that trust has to be earned. Only one person in this world has my entire trust. I trust my own son only to a certain degree. I have to trust in coworkers in a certain degree, but that is forced trust.

I have learned that real trust has to do with complete unselfishness. I thought that trait did not exist anymore, but it does.