Busy airports are a major trigger

[Pandora040]

I travel occasionally for work, though I always try to drive if it's possible, so I can avoid busy airports. I didn't actually realize this was a ptsd trigger until I traveled home the day before thanksgiving. As you can imagine the airport was manic. I felt myself panicking and could not find anywhere to sit where I felt safe. I needed to find somewhere where I could have my back to the wall.

I felt so vulnerable being unable to escape the situation I was in and I tried disappearing into a book shop to read a book in my attempt to calm down and relax, but this was only a temporary solution by avoiding. I couldn't stay in there for too long. Not only did I feel overwhelmed, but I felt people were watching me as I went into panic mode, which made the whole situation so much worse, because I was aware of it. I've never had it this bad before and I only discovered recently that it's due to my ptsd.

So I'm wondering if over time I will gain some control if I continually expose myself to this type of situation... or will I make things worse each time. I also recently discovered that an odd habit I have of always needing to sit in the corner of a restaurant or room, with my back to the wall, so I'm facing the flow of traffic, is due to ptsd. I had no idea, I thought it was just an odd habit I had. I just cannot sit with my back to people or my back to the door. It's interfered with my life to the point that I have to check out seating arrangements on a restaurant's website in advance to going there and making sure to reserve a table in the corner... or if meeting friends, making sure I get there a lot earlier so I can get that seat in the corner. I read a veteran's blog who spoke of a veteran reunion day and how he wishes he had a video camera to record everyone scrambling for that corner seat!

It's so debilitating. I wonder how everyone else copes.

 

[joeylittle]

I wonder how everyone else copes.

I have trouble in airports.

Some of the coping I do relates to the time I travel. I don't travel on major travel days, and I generally make sure I go very early on weekdays, very late on weekdays, and avoid weekends. The commuter air-travel crowds are much less chaotic, in my experience.

Also - finding that corner to hole up in isn't a bad thing at all. Bring/buy a book, and go to a nearby gate that is deserted. Or, be early, and snag a good seat at your gate where you want it.

Finally - (can you tell I do a lot of business travel?) - when you have the option, avoid traveling on the airline that uses that airport as a hub, for your outbound. The airline that hubs is almost always significantly busier than the others, and there can be a real difference between terminals. Sometimes this is hard, as hub flights can be cheaper; but it really depends which market you are in.

Oh - and TSA Pre-check. It's worth it. Really, really worth it.

 

[EmmaOwl]

I travel occasionally for work, though I always try to drive if it's possible, so I can avoid busy a...

I can definitely empathize. I spent years taking train rides back and forth over the worst travel days, Thanksgiving weekend... Miserable.

Can you join a frequent flier lounge area or an airline club of some sort? Maybe your employer would cover the cost of that - you might not need to bring PTSD into it at all. Travel can be stressful and tiring for anyone. You'd know best how to approach this, but maybe you could say something like: you can do better work if you can limit your exposure to such huge crowds. I don't think it is an unreasonable request. Worth a try anyway.

 

[Friday]

So I'm wondering if over time I will gain some control if I continually expose myself to this type of situation... or will I make things worse each time

IME it depends on how I face it.

If it's a fairly regular thing? Then I really need to identify the different pieces and start coming at them individually, in a fairly logical manner (as well as cushioning the overall blow). Or it will just get worse and worse every time, each time building up on the last, until my anxiety is through the roof even thinking about it, and way in advance of even needing to think about it. It will just all swirl together in an epic maelstrom of "No".

If I do start rubix/tetrising the different pieces together, however? Then, yep! It starts getting considerably easier over time in addition to building up a tolerance of familiarity.

There are a lot of airport things, that aren't directly related to the airport. Crowds, is a good example. As is waiting in line. Those things that aren't directly related to the airport itself I can both work on in advance of going to the airport (coming up with methods to both improve my tolerance to them and ability to deal with them), AND mitigate by doing things like finding out when the least crowded travel times are, how to avoid queuing as much as possible, etc. So I'm both more able to deal with them, but have to a lot less.

Things that are directly related to the airport I generally seek out when I'm not traveling. Like I'll bring my laptop & just go chill in their everyone-zone a few times a week listening to all of the announcements, breathing the air, listening to stressed out passengers snap at each other, let my jaw ache through the engine whine, hearing languages I haven't heard for a few lifetimes... Until I start to get stressed out, and then leave. Keep doing so, until it's actually boring. Just background noise. Another is purely for the air traffic, I would take the top down on my jeep and go park under the approach vector. Read a book. Work on my laptop. Drink coffee. Smoke. Crawl under and tighten some of the shit that's always rattling loose. Play fetch with my dog. Take some cool pictures. When I would start to spike? I would either just drive away, or put my top up / turn the music up. Whatever is needed to lower the spike. Either "That's enough for today!" Or "Let's back off just a smidge."

And then there are the in-betweeners. Directly related to the airport, but things I can f*ck around with away from the airport. Like packing a suitcase, or dragging a suitcase around with me. It may seem/feel stupid to pack a bag when there's no need & I'm just going to unpack... But if my anxiety starts to spike when I'm packing? Oh yeah, we're soooooooo gonna be packing and unpacking that bag a whole lot! Ditto, if I feel all vulnerable lugging luggage around? Yep. Guess who is going to be dragging a suitcase all over hell & gone until it's not only NOT a vulnerability, but actually something I'm skilled at AND an advantage? Yup. Me. Not just around the house, the city, the parks, the mall (complete privacy to very public)... But also, once I'm actually good at it? I'll be bringing it with me on my airport fieldtrips (where I'm stealing their free wifi, hanging out in their everyone-zones).

^^^
Is all this really necessary? Nope. It's just what I do.

***

If it's not a regular thing? I generally don't bother doing any of it. That's why god made Valium :sneaky: Or similar. Known high-anxiety situation neatly sidestepped. Hell yeah.

 

[Pandora040]

I have trouble in airports.

Thanks for the reply. It's really reassuring to know that I'm not the only one struggling in this type of situation. Everyone around me always looks so calm. I wonder if it's all in my head and no one really notices how flustered I'm feeling. It could be we were at the same airport at one point, and if so I wouldn't have noticed you were having any issues.

Yes, I agree with keeping your mind active. On past trips I would play sudoku on my phone. I found it engages my mind so I'm not focused on anything else. And because it's so addictive, the time passes without you noticing. It did keep me calm on those trips. But I wasn't really prepared for the manic thanksgiving crowd. Obviously I knew there would be travelers but there was a person every square foot it seemed so I wasn't mentally prepared to deal with it.

Yes, if my gate is crowded I often do go to a nearby gate that's deserted and wait there. Do I look like a fool, lol.

I did notice that southwest airlines offer a lot of direct flights at reasonable prices, so I might consider traveling direct next time.

Yes, heard about TSA pre-check where you get a private line and beat the crowds, probably getting to choose a good seat at your gate as a result.

 

[Pandora040]

Can you join a frequent flier lounge area or an airline club of some sort? Maybe your employer would cover the cost of that - you might not need to bring PTSD into it at all.

Fortunately I'm self employed, so I get to pick my trips and my hours. Unfortunately some places I just can't get to by car, like California to NY for example. Wish I could just drive everywhere. I've seen the frequent flier lounges, although not at every airport and not worth it for such a short wait time. I may have to go with that option when I fly to Europe though.

 

[Pandora040]

There are a lot of airport things, that aren't directly related to the airport. Crowds, is a good example. As is waiting in line. Those things that aren't directly related to the airport itself I can both work on in advance of going to the airport (coming up with methods to both improve my tolerance to them and ability to deal with them), AND mitigate by doing things like finding out when the least crowded travel times are, how to avoid queuing as much as possible, etc. So I'm both more able to deal with them, but have to a lot less.

That's a good point you make about factors that aren't actually related to the airport itself, like crowds.... yes, could be crowds in any place, like restaurants, etc. Just that I think there is always a guarantee that an airport will be fairly busy, so you expect it each time. But I agree about isolating the issues and working on them outside of the airport in advance could help.

That sounds like a great idea... exposing yourself to those airport situations when you're not traveling so you get used to it. I hadn't thought about that. Also... is it common to get anxious when packing a bag or dragging it around with you? Is it because it reminds you of your upcoming travel so it stresses you out for that reason? I'm curious.

Free wifi.... great :)

 

[joeylittle]

Handy hint for flying into NY: If you can use the Delta Shuttle flights, do. It's Laguardia Airport, but Marine Terminal A...which is a lovely, tiny terminal with a great, spacious single area for all gates, and....it's just so humane. Every inch of it. I love terminal A. :)

 

[Pandora040]

Handy hint for flying into NY: If you can use the Delta Shuttle flights, do.

Thanks for the tip. I'll look into that. I love how you use the word humane, lol.

Ok, hopefully got this quote thingy sorted now. Sorry about that :)

 

[EmmaOwl]

@Pandora040, I'm glad you got a variety of answers for this one! I think a lot of people share similar issues, yet have discovered different ways to incorporate these sometimes-scary things into a healthier, happier life.

And I"m glad you got the quote thingy sorted, too :)

 

[Freedomfighter]

I travel occasionally for work, though I always try to drive if it's possible, so I can avoid busy a...

Crowds are the worst for a ptsd sufferer, hate it. People are way too nosy, want to always yap with someone about something. At home I love my peace, prefer to talk about things that really matter. Most people will yap all day long about crap that is not important. So not interested in the majority of people out there. I merely tolerate them, if not having to work with them I would not waste a split second on any of them. I wish they could vegetate in their low level lives and leave me alone.