Relationship I Strongly Need Advice

[fletch24]

Hi everyone. I apologize in advance for my lengthy post .I’m new looking for relationship advice.

Let me explain…I met a man 5 months ago and after about 2 weeks of seeing each other he told me about his combat ptsd (he served for 8 and a half years). He’s been on pills and was diagnosed about 6 years ago. He didn’t tell me every detail about his life just that he has been divorced for 8 years now (ex wife is a trigger) and he has a daughter. He has never really gone into too many details about how ptsd effects him just that he has trouble sleeping and he’s on two different pills for anxiety and depression. He has always been very loving and thoughtful and communication was effortless with us.

The end of February he forgot to order his pills and was without them for 2 weeks, in that time he was depressed but still had to go to work and deal with people but slept the rest of the time. He has since been back on his pills for 3 weeks and in that 3 weeks his communication with me has been bad. He stopped initiating conversations and was surprised he text me for my birthday. I have to start the conversations and he changes them to only subjects he’s interested in. He’s no longer affectionate etc. He doesn’t talk to his family much even though they try hard to.

I went to his work for my birthday (it was planned months in advance) and I asked him ahead of time if it was an issue and he assured me that it wasn’t. I saw him and he acted like we haven’t skipped a beat that we perfect. Now it’s been a few days since that night and still not a single word from him.

My question is, is this an isolation thing? Is he just getting used to his pills again?

Or if anyone has any advice on the situation I would appreciate it so much

 

[7Cs]

Hi everyone. I apologize in advance for my lengthy post .I’m new looking for relationship advice.

L...

Depending on his medications it could take a while for them to get back up to therapeutic levels in his system. Most antidepressants do take several weeks. The majority of anti-anxiety meds are quicker acting.

If your sufferer is isolating it could very well be the depression.

That said, many of us with PTSD have "bad times of the year" that are worse times than the rest of the year. Sometimes a day or a week and for some it could be a month or more. My bad time is for about 3-4 months beginning late fall. For people with PTSD, these "bad times" usually correspond with traumaversaries so to speak. I would imagine the more complex a persons trauma history is, the more (or longer) of these traumaveraries would be. I do consider combat trauma to be a complex trauma.

Also, how are other things in his life right now?
Is he experiencing any major changes or good/ bad stressors?

There are many things that can factor into our symptomology. It can at times be difficult to pinpoint.


I would say though that right now you are probably just waiting until his meds start working again. :)

 

[Deadman]

It can take some meds a couple of weeks to kick in. He may also be isolating because there are other stressors that are filling his PTSD cup.

Having said all that many of us who have PTSD have a difficult time with relationships that require trust. It is possible that he is just not ready for a committed relationship.

 

[fletch24]

Depending on his medications it could take a while for them to get back up to therapeutic levels in his sys...

Two weeks ago he kicked his own brother out of his work and his only explanation was "i'm not in the mood for this". He was working on a project but cant when its cold so he was down about that (but started working on it this week since the weather picked up). The only thing good i can think of is hes getting an extra 2 days with his daughter when he actually only gets to see her once a week. I've stopped contact and figured if he wants to talk he'll text me.

 

[Glo809]

Hi everyone. I apologize in advance for my lengthy post .I’m new looking for relationship advice.

L...

Greetings,

Just finished a series of pod cast that were fantastic, I agreed with 65% of what the speaker was talking about.

Granted he is a fire fighter, I was search and rescue in the us coast guard, but his words triggered many thoughts that dealt with my service history.

Look up ptsdbunkergearforthebrain in your podcast library, the tread started about 4 months ago.

Even though it is not military, combat and non combat ptsd share many things.

Hope this helps.

G

 

[BlueOrange]

That extra time with his daughter could be a very big deal, in terms of stress levels. It means increased communication with his ex, and it means fear that the extra time will be taken away again.

It also means less private time for him, which means he needs to reorganize his coping strategies. So patience will be key.