Childhood When Does The Pain End?

[Deleted member 28942]

Hi,

I've been in therapy for about 2 years most of the time EMDR. Things have gotten better but it still hurts so much. I still feel so much pain in my body that I don't know when will it go away. Anyone here with childhood trauma how long did it take you to process the pain and hurt? How long till you started moving from surviving to thriving?

I feel like the suffering is endless. The physical pain in my body is real. The migraines and the nightmares.

What else helped you besides EMDR?

Thanks

 

[Deadman]

EMDR for two years? I thought it was supposed to be a short term thing. I can't imagine 2 years of it :O_o:

 

[Deleted member 28942]

@Deadman yes for 2 years. I have complex PTSD lots of childhood abuse. Until I turned 30 I did not remember any of it. Now as I am processing stuff with EMDR more and more memories keep resurfacing. The amount of fear, guilt, and shame that I carry is unbelievable. EMDR is the only treatment that really works for me and causes changes but it is very painful.

 

[FauxLiz]

I can't give you an answer for when the pain will end as that is a question I ask myself pretty much daily. The pain I feel is both mental and physical. I just want you to know that I understand what you are going through.

 

[Deleted member 28942]

@FauxLiz thanks! I appreciate the support.

 

[ladee]

I have a lot more good days than bad... but it took a long time to get here... you are not alone in wondering if things are going to settle down....
Is there a chance you can take a break from EMDR for a little while and give yourself time to do some processing or are you doing this along with the EMDR?...
Glad you are here... this is a great healing community to be a part of .... hope you post as often as you need.
I don't have a concrete answer for you, and I doubt anyone else will... we can tell you gets better, a lot better... but when the pain stops.... different for all of us...

 

[Deleted member 28942]

I will take a break from therapy the whole month of May. I am moving to Canada for the summer. June and July I will have Skype therapy every two weeks. That will be just talk and guided visualization. I will have time to recover cause it has been a lot of heavy EMDR stuff. Exhausting. Good advice. I do need a break cause it has been too much.
Good news I also started going to a Frist Presbyterian Church and I find it very good and soothing.

 

[ladee]

Happy to hear you are getting a break... we just can't hammer away at this... we have to have time to just BE... and happy you have found a church you like and that is very soothing for you...
Keep in touch so we know how you are doing and being....
Gentle hugs if you accept..

 

[EmmaOwl]

Hi,

I've been in therapy for about 2 years most of the time EMDR. Things have gotten better but...

Yes, everyone is different, everyone has their own pace... I need to look back at my life over years to see improvements...but they are there. Frustratingly slow.

I would suggest giving plain old talk therapy a try, during a break from EMDR... With a therapist that you like, that you can have a convo with once a week, ...That has made a world of difference to me. - especially because I'm such a loner and don't have people around to talk with. In my case, it's more like a life coach than a therapist.

Once in a while I have a weird little wish to believe in some kind of religion -
However, I will not join a church or religion because I feel lonely! :)
**please do not use this message to try convert me. ** :cautious: It is just a thought that pops up in my mind once in a while, and I am glad to see when people are able to find support in this way.

But yeah. Talk therapy. Very low-pressure environment - unless a big problem comes up all of a sudden, and that's a good reason to have scheduled visits, also. Something happens on Tuesday, you know you can talk about it on Friday, or whatever.

And yeah, the physical pain makes the mental pain increase, then mental pain... it can be a vicious cycle! I do empathize with you; I wish I had more wise words to offer.

 

[Deleted member 28942]

Once in a while I have a weird little wish to believe in some kind of religion -
However, I will not join a church or religion because I feel lonely! :)
**please do not use this message to try convert me. ** :cautious: It is just a thought that pops up in my mind once in a while, and I am glad to see when people are able to find support in this way.

Haha. As a devoted atheist for more than half of my life someone who tried to convince others that there is no God and felt strongly against religion and church I will not try to convert you. For me, it came naturally. No-one forced me to go to the church. I just decided one Sunday morning to go to church on my own. I didn't know anyone in the church.

There was a memory I processed in therapy. It was about my mom telling me that God doesn't love me. Now I believe that God loves me. When I was a kid believing in God was one of the things that saved me. However, my mom was mean and she kept on putting down my religious beliefs and telling me that there is no God that near the end of middle school I started believing that there is no God.

If you can find a place to go where you can be in a communion with others it helps. Whether that is a church, Buddhist group, support group, even fitness group it is helpful. I want to go to a support group but there are only AA and NA support groups in my town and I don't belong to either one.

 

[Twilight]

Hi,

I've been in therapy for about 2 years most of the time EMDR. Things have gotten better but...

I understand completely. The pain will end, at least it is much better for me. Yes I have had and do have migraines, physical pain and tons of emotional pain. EMDR helped greatly with the pain from the past. Now, I have to free myself from on-going domestic stalking....

 

[Twilight]

Haha. As a devoted atheist for more than half of my life someone who tried to convince others th...

How about codependency group. That usually fits anyone with child abuse issues