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Relationship Contact Breakthrough After 4 1/2 Weeks Of Shut Out... I Still Have Hope!

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Mon15

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Hello All!

Just wanted to give an update... So after the second shut out (first was 2 weeks), the weeks went by, I followed supporters advice and didn't contact my SO after he texted that he wanted to be left alone and for me to take what I wanted before leaving his house. I of course was devastated considering he was planning our future and our relationship was somewhat perfect besides the long distance (3 1/2 hour drive). I tried my best to focus on myself, had surgery and that's when he came through with a text... granted he was 3 days late of my surgery date, but it lifted my spirits and meant a lot to hear something from him. That was the only message I had gotten and then by week 5, I received a message asking about the diamond cut that I liked. I was confused, hurt, mad but also happy to have gotten something! Since then we have been texting with a few phone calls but still haven't seen each other in person- I'm still in recovery and I know he's been working a lot along with doing things around his house that we'd talked about months before. I know his stress cup is still at the full level with everything going on as I can tell in his voice and when messages are short and sparse. I pray everyday that we will get back to being "us" again, but I know he struggles with making the move to be with me. Shit, I struggled and still struggle when I uprooted from parents and friends to take a promotion that he encouraged me to take with him saying he would follow. It's hard, because now I am alone (I do have family close but not the same) and hurt because this venture was supposed to be a "us" thing. All I can do now is continue to pray, take it one day at a time and hope that love conquers all and we'll be together in the same place, happy again.

I will say that after I expressed my feelings of hurt, he did say that he doesn't know why he does what he does to me and can't explain it, but said that he hurts me emotionally because he is hurting and it's not just me that he distances himself from, it's others too. It's a heartbreaking battle and I love this man with everything I've got and pray that we will work together to get through whatever comes our way! I have much respect for the military as I'm an army brat, but damn them for what these men and women suffer from when they return home with little help.

Much love to all of you!!!
 
Really glad for the good news. I hope things continue to improve.

Thank you @BlueOrange! It's a tough road and I am in it for the long haul of the journey! Of course I would love for everything to go back to the way it was, but I do know that I have to be patient and take things one day at a time and pray that things move up from here. I hold on to the hope as our relationship grew stronger after last years shut out and I'll continue to pray it'll do the same after this one. We are each other's one true love. :)
 
@Mon15 I understand long haul of the journey, I'm approaching 10 years with my journey. I'm the eternal optimist. For the first time I am seeing glimmers of light at what looks like the end of the tunnel. I will hold on to that for dear life. For some, it doesn't work out for them and I am sad for them. For some, like you and I, we are not willing to give up and I am hopeful. I echo @BlueOrange thoughts above also.
 
Glad to hear the good news it makes me happy to see others work things out and come out more positively even if mine didn't, the more relationships ptsd fails to finish off for me is a positive thing for both supporters and sufferers.
 
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