General Trying To Understand His PTSD.

[Some1sAngel]

How can I help him without driving myself crazy. He's already getting help at the VA, taking his meds, and going to therapy. The thing is he doesn't communicate with me anymore. I have to actually reach out to him and sometimes, if I'm lucky he'll open up just a tad. It's really hard. He use to be such a communicative person. I don't know what to do. Should I check up on him or should I just let him be. I'm worried. And I don't want him thinking I don't care because I haven't talked to him, it's just that I don't want to stress him out, I've read that sometimes by just contacting them it happens. Need advice please. I don't know how to feel or act around this behavior.

 

[clare]

As a sufferer, I would say that it sounds like space is what he needs right now, but a tm of "how're you doing?" shouldn't be a triggering event-but that's just me. Can you ask his therapist if it would be ok to stay in touch or how you can support him at this time? What does he say? Have you asked him directly if he wants a separation?

Let us know,

clare

 

[Some1sAngel]

I've tried that in the past and quite frankly, it's always the same response or sometimes he doesn't reply. As far as asking his therapist, I can't. The VA is in a different city and well, I don't think he'd (sufferer) appreciate it at all. He keeps that (PTSD related things) to himself mostly. All I know is that if he wasn't isolating (this is what I think he's doing) then I could ask him more questions face to face. But I can't since I haven't seen him in a while.

We had been friends for years (8 yrs. actually) and became more than just friends last year and then PTSD came into the picture. I know he wants to keep seeing me because he has said so, but .. hasn't. So confusing.

I try to give him his space because the last thing I want to do is stress him out even more .. it's just so hard :wall:

 

[Nicolette]

Should I check up on him or should I just let him be. I'm worried..

You should just let him be. He will come to you if he wants and you can either choose to sit there and worry or choose to get on with your life realising if someone doesn't want help there is nothing you can do until they change. It is all out of your hands.

Friendships come and go; others last a lifetime. Who knows but from what you are saying you are the only one causing yourself anguish. If he really wanted to see you he would. It's that simple with males if you take the PTSD out of the equation. Adding it back in...well, not much different. :rolleyes:

 

[Nicolette]

Adding it back in...well, not much different

Clarification. If a man has PTSD and is interested in you and you know he is........ if he does not have the capacity to have or even maintain a relationship you won't see him.

 

[Some1sAngel]

Clarification. If a man has PTSD and is interested in you and you know he is........ if he does not have the capacity to have or even maintain a relationship you won't see him.

Yeah .. that makes alot of sense. He's a wonderful man with alot of great qualities and I truly care about him but .. he can't be in a relationship right now, from what I've seen and experienced. He's probably afraid of hurting me emotionally since he can't be there like he would want to.