Disappointed

[Casey_03]

He's 1 now, and the MA would take two years.

 

[desiderata310]

PERFECT. Thats pre-school age. That will work out better than you think.
DO IT! Go apply.

 

[Deleted member 41765]

Agree . ^^^ I went to grad school with PTSD (although without a child) and I just want to chime in to offer support and encouragement!!! I have the distinct sense that you can do this.

 

[anonymous]

Also, grad students do qualify for WIC a lot of times.

At our university, they did have programs through the school for daycare that were linked to the early childhood education training programs.

Like @desiderata310 , during fellowship training, many times my baby camped out under my desk.

She was the work mascot.

 

[desiderata310]

grad students do qualify for WIC a lot of times.

Oh god yes. I had WIC back in the day when they handed you powdered milk and peanut butter. Nowadays you can go buy the stuff you want at the store.

 

[Casey_03]

I'm on WIC now and it's really not all that helpful, apart from providing lots of milk and rice. In my state, it doesn't let you buy whatever you want, it's vouchers for specific things (several gallons of milk, rice, corn tortillas, and $8.00 worth of fruit or veggies). SNAP is more helpful and with that you can buy whatever food items you want. It helps. But even with it, I struggle. It all goes to my son, basically, and I live off of about one can of soup a day and maybe a few eggs. I don't know how much my benefits would change if I were a student. Right now, I know my subsidies for daycare are not very good, and still don't allow me to afford daycare, because I have an income (albeit a very small one). But maybe if I were a student they'd give me more leeway for daycare.

I had initially thought the school offered more assistance with daycare, which is why I allowed myself to get all excited about the plan ... but then I found out they only offer a range of off-campus services that are still quite a bit of money (for me, anyway). There are ways to get it discounted, but it's not quite the free, on-campus daycare I had been hoping for.

The program starts next fall, so maybe by then I'll be in a better situation financially and feel a bit more confident about my abilities to pay for daycare. I guess part of my reason for feeling anxious about it is because it's a long way off, and I really have no idea how my circumstances will change in the next year.

 

[anonymous]

First things first. Study for thr GRE and get accepted to the program.

Baby steps. Focus on that.

It takes time to get up to speed

 

[desiderata310]

lots of milk and rice.

Still better than powdered milk. :wtf:
Since the program starts next fall you have plenty of time to investigate.
Make a list.
No, daycare is rarely free.
Get your FAFSA info together, start applying for aid and scholarships( there are those out there specifically for moms)
Study for the GRE
Apply for the program and make appointments to talk to people who run the programs.
Etc etc etc
Do your homework.
Set yourself up for success

 

[Deleted member 37474]

This may be off task, but what field are you interested in pursuing? What led you to this choice of study?

 

[Casey_03]

@TexCat The program I am referencing in this thread is a PhD in linguistics, which would require me to learn an additional foreign language on top of Russian and generally seems to have a ridiculously intense workload. I'd need it to work as a professor of Russian. I have also considered other degrees that would be less demanding but also less useful in getting a job and building a career. I might reconsider those other degrees now, or even search for a different degree that might not have been on my radar but would lead to a secure, well-paying job.

Nothing in particular led me to this course of study. It just seems like a good way to make use of the skills I already have and acquire new ones that would give me a decent, interesting career.

 

[Deleted member 37474]

@TexCat The program I am referencing in this thread is a PhD in linguistics, which...

So, you already have a degree (undergrad) that doesn't really have a pathway to good employment without graduate work? I am not discounting an immediate route to grad school, but I am not wired like these other posters. Grad school was going to be my back up plan if I didn't get married and have a family. I am deeply passionate about music and education, but was also deeply passionate about wanting to be a mom. And I couldn't afford to be a full time mom. I still stayed in the industry while I worked part time.

For you, it is different, I know. You are a single mom, so you don't have a choice about whether you work and how much(you have to work "enough," but you do have choices on how and when you add the grad school.) Do you want to work and then come home and spend interactive time with your son, put him to bed and stay up all night studying in order to have a more stable financial future? Or do you want to be more gradual and work.. come home and interact and then go to bed? Do you want the difficulty of getting back into the program later? (I gave up on that, though my tone is superior, my fingers have aged, my eyesight is uggg. So clarinet grad school is not happening for me now... hard to go back when you don't just jump in when your mind and physical self is fresh). But... I am and was always child-driven. I wanted my focus as much as I could have it, on my two daughters. This isn't better or worse than anyone else's plan. We all love our children deeply regardless of what drives us. And honestly, ptsd has thrown a wrench into my parenting and wifing and I hope I can get back my focus before they leave home (which isn't far off). Maybe figure out what is driving you. Where is your passion. Draw from that to make this decision and stay strong!

 

[Casey_03]

With my current degree and profession, there's no room for growth or a pay raise unless I become an editor. But becoming an editor means even MORE work, 24/7, no holidays off, no weekends, calls coming in about nonsense round the clock, literally .. and all for not much more pay than I am making now. It's a pretty miserable existence for anyone who has a family. And if I remain in the lower level position I'm currently in, I will never be able to put any savings aside, and even just getting by will be tough. I definitely would not be able to provide my son with any money for college, or enroll him in recreational activities like martial arts/sports when he's older. There'd be no money for family vacations or trips to fun places. (Keep in mind here I have about $100,000 in student loan debt, and the bulk of that is not eligible for a forbearance because these were private loans)

So, I'm torn, really. I don't want to take any attention away from my son, and would love to be able to spend lots of quality time with him, but doing that would also mean the constant stress of not being able to provide for him financially. And as he gets older, he's going to have more and more expenses. At the rate I'm going, I will not be able to cover those expenses.

There's also the option of just getting some mediocre job in retail or something that has absolutely nothing to do with my degree or interests. But I know if I do that, I will hate my life, be very depressed, and my son will feel that. (That's what my life was like with my mom).

I guess the best thing to do would be to find some middleground. Maybe a less intensive program that I could complete mostly online, as was suggested elsewhere in this thread. The main reason I was going for a doctoral program is because tuition is covered, whereas for MA programs it's not ... and I don't have money to pay any tuition.

I may still apply for the linguistics program, just to see if I feel differently about it in a few months time. And I'll take the GRE regardless, because that's required in all the MA programs I've considered. But I'll try to take baby steps and do everything gradually instead of leaping into something that might be too overwhelming.