Z
Zufa
I am a 17-year-old male suffering from all of the above. The past few years have been a downhill spiral but the previous years were not any better. At the age of seven, I lost my mom's mom who I was very close with. Shortly after that, I began to get closer to her neighbour Dee who resembled her and was like a companion to me in her absence. I was bullied around that time by the kids in my school and was berated by people on the block. To add onto that my parents were sort of abusive because of the acting out in school which started from sixth grade all the way up until now. I was bullied by many of the classmates and never really had anywhere to go. I began harming animals which I deeply regret because I did love them I just had a lot of misplaced anger and still do. I have suicidal and other forms of thought regularly. The main thing I suffer from currently is the hypervigilance and the physical form of anxiety. For example, stomach aches, back pain and other similar problems. From what I read people with ied and PTSD commit suicide like no other. I do want to die but I also want to live. I am currently not thinking about it at the moment but I may consider it if my quality of life doesn't increase. I have been robbed at gunpoint and groped by people working in the pizzeria I worked at daily. Not looking for a pity party, I just want to know how I can help myself for the future.
Sincerely yours, The White Death
Sincerely yours, The White Death