DID Communicating with dissociative parts/alters

[Keen]

Hi all,
Sorry for so many questions lately, but I am really struggling to navigate this new diagnosis and learning to manage it and am hoping for the advice of those who have "been there" and have more experience.
I'm wondering how you all communicate with your dissociative parts/alters? What does that look/sound like for you?
Is it more like thinking thoughts towards certain parts/alters? Do you speak out loud?
How do you receive communication back from them?
How do you deal with all of the parts/alters communicating with you at the same time (as in a big clamor) even when you ask for one at a time?
What about aggressive/assertive parts/alters who kind of railroad you and everyone else? What gets them to calm down and be more polite?
Any thoughts or advice are really appreciated!

 

[Ronin]

Not asking too much :)

We used to leave each other notes, memos when notes would have been unsafe for me/us &/or others (as in little objects people had other relations and symbolic meanings to and could remember everyone's/body's purpose by), focus on things around us & the sounds around us (different sensory sensitivity of different people as well as a different way people read meanings; took us a bit to get on the same page about quite a few things; didn't help meanings often changed in our life because moving / different cultural connections) / speaking out loud when alone or when it's (assumed) safe.

And/or by art in whichever fashion. Usually had a big 'what on earth, who did that, I didn't do this' about art in the first place / what clued us in to being more people other than (other-bodied) people being interrogative about things the present one had no idea about.

Talking over one another - just as you would sitting at the same table. Setting up what's the theme to talk about & timing for everyone. Waiting up for each other to finish & make sure they've got time to talk. And/or if emergency? Who ever is able to handle that emergency, handles it. (Which may not work for you depending on inner set ups about that, but we're very 'Who can get the job done, does it. I don't care for artificial rules that work when not living in survival mode 24/7 or most of the time.')

Aggressive / assertive aren't the same lane to us.
Neither polite / impolite. We've known so many sooo very violent... extremely polite.... people.
It's not the same scale so I'm having bit of an issue translating here, but I'll give it a shot.

Usually by figuring out what's triggering the person and tailoring accordingly. Is it confusion about the situation? Is it concrete triggers within that situation? Is it something about the other person, or something that's off? Is it just hypervigilance or valid situational awareness of something us-whole just aren't paying attention to at the time? Things like that: Figuring the situation, the trigger, and /then/ changing the response. Some times, a particular someone being up? Means because the danger they're most equipped to handle / have gotten us through in the past, is /also/ present. ((Or that the danger is present and they're the ones most used to be blind to exactly that type of danger, and have been in the past. Which is a oy vey another clusterf*ck altogether.))

 

[Muted]

I don't speak to them out loud, but when I'm distinctly aware of a part's response inside my mind I may quote them. Only to my T or family though.

I hate it when they're all speaking or trying to say respond at once, because it's like suddenly you have several viewpoints and how do you make that make any sense to whoever your speaking to? Grrr...

The protector parts can be more polite, but often not. The younger parts are more difficult to 'control' especially when they get upset. The biggest challenge is when they're all triggered, because no one or anyone is in control and there's lots of dissociation and it's hard to add 1+1 or know what the hell youre supposed to be doing.

Only my T knows them all and they will pretty much listen to her, unless we're overloaded and then they have more time on their own and then is rather chaotic as far as who takes control.

 

[Keen]

Not asking too much :)

We used to leave each other notes, memos when notes would have been unsafe for me/...

Thank you for all these insights and tips! I really appreciate it!

 

[Keen]

The biggest challenge is when they're all triggered, because no one or anyone is in control and there's lots of dissociation and it's hard to add 1+1 or know what the hell youre supposed to be doing.

Thanks for replying! It really helps to see what other people's experiences are like, and how similar/different they are from mine. I could especially relate to the mess that happens when everyone seems triggered.

 

[Ronin]

You're welcome @Kassie. :) Glad to help a bit.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

I'm still at the point where I have very little communication with the insiders. Sometimes I can hear them talking, and sometimes I can feel them, but I'm mostly oblivious.

What does work a littleness a journal. We all share the same one and write in it. It's been really scary to look inside sometimes but also really revealing that we can seem to talk to eachother just a little bit that way. After a few months I can recognize the different hand writing styles too, which helps decipher when people don't sign their name.

The journal been really scary in the fact that it's made the diagnosis so obvious - it reads like the journal of a multiple.

 

[Keen]

I'm still at the point where I have very little communication with the insiders. Sometimes...

I think doing a journal is a great idea. I'm way better at writing than talking anyway. I'm going to try it. Thanks for responding!