What Makes You Angry Today?

[vikingr24]

Roger that, Renegade. Funny how the anger builds up until one thing happens, major or minor, and you just cannot take it. I work in IT. I am so tired of idiots who do not know how to speak or write English. It would be one thing to be an interpreter and make some mistakes, but they know those mistakes cost lives and go over their shit before they submit. No, not here. It just comes out and just comes out like "Please do the needful" or "Kindly...." WTF is this crap with "Kindly?" One of my favorites is "PFA." Do they think that's cool somehow? At least in the military we had some good acronyms. FUBAR, The old SNAFU. TDY. DEROS (Happy news.) REMF.

PFA? Just say "Attached...."

And then to go on and screw things up. Really mess it up so it takes time and money to fix. GDammit. You show them how to fix it and wait 3 days until you follow up and nothing's been done? Lazy. Just plain lazy.

And what happens to me? The anger turns to depression and then the nightmares. God lately they have been really good. Right in that twilight zone before you finally can doze off. And the images just flow like a tape that can't stop. And you sweat and fight getting up but you have too.

And of course, it's too damn hot to work out. Which is what I need. I want a 5 mile run before lunch, just like we did when...well, when....

But you let it go and it gets better. Just let it go. If things are f*cked up, then they are f*cked up.

It's sappy but true. The old St. Christopher's program on Sunday. My Dad watched it because I know it helped him with his "battle fatigue" which he never admitted to. But he was the first to diagnose me. One look at my face. You've got battle fatigue. And then the priest appears on the black and white TV we had: "Better to light one candle than to curse the darkness."

Yeah. Let it go. They used to say "Don't mean nuthin'." It really doesn't. It's imperfect. The drill sergeant needed to make me think I was perfect and the world needed to straighten out.

But you just can't do it all. Just no more nightmares. NO more hearing those military grade blades go Whoop, whoop, whoop. Sleep would be a real blessing for me now. ("There's always one more thing to do.")

Rant over.

Out. Damn my leg hurts too.

 

[Raven]

Pigs who pull up behind me, see the LESs on my radar detector, and f*ck with their radar guns to try and annoy me.

It has a mute button, morons. That's why I make twice as much as you do. You're just not smart.

It doesn't really make me angry but I'm like "Why? They all have mute buttons."

And it was given to me by a pig. BLM, kill pigs all you want, just don't kill that pig please. I would be sad for a while. I'm not f*cking scared for him, he can take care of himself. f*ckthepolice.

 

[Chin Strapped]

This only made me a little angry, but still I thought the guy was a penis tip...

Not so long ago I had an operation, got home, something went a bit wrong and I bled; that's when I had a ridiculous over the top panic attack and my wife called a medical helpline and they sent an ambulance. All quite embarrassing but whatever.

Anyway, I explained myself to the paramedics who were both ex army medics. I said I panic easily and that everything is life and death instinctively, so I react poorly to situations. Paramedic said I was not alone and he knew what i meant and then went on to give me his example scenario, of an old woman who was murdered by her husband but died in his arms.

It pissed me off but got me thinking. Although I have gory nightmares (dreams as theyre now known) and intrusive thoughts, I'm not bothered by them anymore. What bothers me is the feeling of getting attacked, waiting for an atrack or something to blow up; always absolute worse scenario. I don't think the paramedic quite understood me. Another prick who thinks he's been there and knows it, another person who tries to squeeze ptsd in to one small box. For me ptsd isnt being bothered by what I have seen anymore, 6 years on, i think it's feeling under threat all the time.

Fed up with sitting on my sofa and feeling like something is going to happen.

There may be a thread here somewhere about people's own experiences of ptsd symptoms.

 

[Deleted member 43454]

For me ptsd isnt being bothered by what I have seen anymore, 6 years on, i think it's feeling under threat all the time.

Fed up with sitting on my sofa and feeling like something is going to happen.

I know what you mean... it's a bitch feeling like some one could always come and try to harm you or your family...
That's why I don't like to get into altercations with people... because I may end up striking preemptively.
Types of wanna be's out there make it worse.

 

[Plat-Daddy]

This only made me a little angry, but still I thought the guy was a penis tip...

Not so long ago I had an operation, got home, something went a bit wrong and I bled; that's when I had a ridiculous over the top panic attack and my wife called a medical helpline and they sent an ambulance. All quite embarrassing but whatever.

Anyway, I explained myself to the paramedics who were both ex army medics. I said I panic easily and that everything is life and death instinctively, so I react poorly to situations. Paramedic said I was not alone and he knew what i meant and then went on to give me his example scenario, of an old woman who was murdered by her husband but died in his arms.

It pissed me off but got me thinking. Although I have gory nightmares (dreams as theyre now known) and intrusive thoughts, I'm not bothered by them anymore. What bothers me is the feeling of getting attacked, waiting for an atrack or something to blow up; always absolute worse scenario. I don't think the paramedic quite understood me. Another prick who thinks he's been there and knows it, another person who tries to squeeze ptsd in to one small box. For me ptsd isnt being bothered by what I have seen anymore, 6 years on, i think it's feeling under threat all the time.

Fed up with sitting on my sofa and feeling like something is going to happen.

There may be a thread here somewhere about people's own experiences of ptsd symptoms.

prazosin is a blood pressure med. you can take a tiny bit of it and for many if calms the dreams. does not stop them but sure takes the bite of them for me. I wish you smoother days ahead.

 

[Chin Strapped]

I know what you mean... it's a bitch feeling like some one could always come and try to harm you or your family...

That rules my life. Irrational paranoia.

 

[Plat-Daddy]

Understand. I think some is good for knowing the surroundings gives me comfort. takes time to turn the in the mode down some but never off. I did have to move to the country though to get relief from it. In the city I was always on guard. work up at every noise. here a couple of dogs in the yard that will wake me so rest is easier. Also the cheapy driveway sensors from harbor freight are great. in the city I had one by each door on the outside facing to opposite wall so anyone walked up to the door I knew before they rang the bell. I also kept on in my truck. it would only go off if someone opened the door. is silent outside but next to my bed was loud on high. these also helped me relax some when at home. I still will not sit back to the door or window after many years. and still have some some very close if need be. I sleep with my daughters toy pink bb gun for in my sleep this is my weapon and I rest better. Thus I will not wake up and shoot anything for real. sounds silly but helps. My woobie is a bb gun. red ryder ha. I love the country. The less people I see is the more people I am nice to for I am not wired by all the crap my mind sees when in the cities. I wish you well and smoother days ahead, I beat the crap out of punching bags to relax and studied the arts. Akido helped me allot for is the art of not getting hit. The work out and the new found discipline helped me allot with everyday crap.

 

[Deleted member 43454]

Comes with the trade of having attempts on your life is the way I look at it. Rather be safe than sorry with my pants down below my ankles.

 

[Chin Strapped]

I

Understand. I think some is good for knowing the surroundings gives me comfort. takes time to turn the in the mode down some but never off. I did have to move to the country though to get relief from it. In the city I was always on guard. work up at every noise. here a couple of dogs in the yard that will wake me so rest is easier. Also the cheapy driveway sensors from harbor freight are great. in the city I had one by each door on the outside facing to opposite wall so anyone walked up to the door I knew before they rang the bell. I also kept on in my truck. it would only go off if someone opened the door. is silent outside but next to my bed was loud on high. these also helped me relax some when at home. I still will not sit back to the door or window after many years. and still have some some very close if need be. I sleep with my daughters toy pink bb gun for in my sleep this is my weapon and I rest better. Thus I will not wake up and shoot anything for real. sounds silly but helps. My woobie is a bb gun. red ryder ha. I love the country. The less people I see is the more people I am nice to for I am not wired by all the crap my mind sees when in the cities. I wish you well and smoother days ahead, I beat the crap out of punching bags to relax and studied the arts. Akido helped me allot for is the art of not getting hit. The work out and the new found discipline helped me allot with everyday crap.

No guns here, but I have a machete and hockey stick to hand, depending how I feel.

I'm thinking about trying crossfit. Did a spell with triathlon last year but lost the buzz, motivation is difficult of course. Fancy a community feel and I really enjoy smashing myself with pt.

Fitnessblender. Com has been great for sessions in my front room. Highly recommend.

 

[Plat-Daddy]

Sounds cool. I will look at that. I liked the fighting stuff for years for getting hit and hitting I guess kept me from getting so wound up I would be a danger to others. Only the rude ones of course. For some reason never had issues at all with what I call normal people, Manors, I am so busted up from life I do not move well anymore but back when we could adorn full training pads and a helmet and just go at it until we were both just laid on the floor tired was great therapy. Now I ride my scoot out here in the country to relax. Living in the country has helped me adjust allot. I am ok around people but the less I see of them the less time on guard inside. I wish you smoother days ahead and the pt is for sure good thing. I miss it yet many of the joints now are gone so just getting out of this chair and on the bike is a GREAT DAY. Glad your here and posting for gives many of us the since of brother hood we miss badly.

 

[Deleted member 43454]

Queensyche : Operation Mindcrime
It just takes a minute
And you'll feel no pain
Gotta make something of your life boy
Give me one more vein
You've come to see the doctor
Cause I'll show you the cure
I'm gonna take away the questions
Yeah I'm gonna make you sure

A hit man for the order
When you couldn't go to school
Had a skin job for a hair-do
Yeah you looked pretty cool
Had a habit doing mainline
Watch the dragon burn
No regrets, you've got no goals
Nothing more to learn

Now I know you won't refuse
Because we've got so much to do
And you've got nothing more to lose
So take this number and welcome to

Operation : Mindcrime
We're an underground revolution
Working overtime
Operation : Mindcrime
There's a job for you in
The system boy, with nothing to sign

Hey Nikki you know everything
That there is to do
Here's a gun take it home
Wait by the phone
We'll send someone over
To bring you what you need
You're a one man death machine
Make this city bleed

Now I know you won't refuse
Because we've got so much to do
And you've got nothing more to lose
So take this number and welcome to

Operation : Mindcrime
We're an underground revolution
Working overtime
Operation : Mindcrime
There's a job for you in
The system boy, with nothing to sign

Operation : Mindcrime
We're an underground revolution
Working overtime
Operation : Mindcrime
If you come to see the doctor
Yeah he'll give you the cure

Operation : Mindcrime
Make something of your life boy
Let me into your mind
Operation : Mindcrime
There's a job for you in the system boy
With nothing to sign

No thank you.

 

[Chin Strapped]

Sounds cool. I will look at that. I liked the fighting stuff for years for getting hit and hitting I guess kept me from getting so wound up I would be a danger to others. Only the rude ones of course. For some reason never had issues at all with what I call normal people, Manors, I am so busted up from life I do not move well anymore but back when we could adorn full training pads and a helmet and just go at it until we were both just laid on the floor tired was great therapy. Now I ride my scoot out here in the country to relax. Living in the country has helped me adjust allot. I am ok around people but the less I see of them the less time on guard inside. I wish you smoother days ahead and the pt is for sure good thing. I miss it yet many of the joints now are gone so just getting out of this chair and on the bike is a GREAT DAY. Glad your here and posting for gives many of us the since of brother hood we miss badly.

Yeah I moved to the country in April. I'm now settling in, it has brought allot of peace. It was a motivation of mine to get here since 2012. Made it.