I have to weigh in.
After I got out and went to school, my first job, aside from the volunteer work I did with the VA, was counseling in a poverty program. I saw all kinds in that job, from murderers and rapists to bank robbers and frankly some downright ornery people. I did prison rehab work with some guys I thought needed to go straight to the mental hospital and never walk the streets. I could not keep a gun in the car because it was broken into so many times. I carried a knife openly on my belt.
And there were the gender mixed, the gays, the prostitutes and whores (there is a difference). There was a gay bar (call it LGBT these days) two streets over called The Three Mary's. The Mary's were not women and they fooled many a man from out of town. And they could sling beer like a sailor.
This was in the early 70's when transgender was not even a word then. Men's and Women's rooms were not either one. You would see a beautiful looking woman go into the men's room as much as you would see a man hit the woman's head. (Pun intended.) Since I had a friend who owned a nudist colony, I got over the being-naked-in public-thing.
I never saw one incident of violence or hatred or judgemental thinking. But honestly I prepared myself every time I used the Men's room. I gave respect, and I got it back. Sometimes it was actually funny hearing some of them talk. One guy comes to me and wants me to meet his husband. (Eeeeew.) It was a difficult thing to get over. But I did notice a lot of humanity in them. Most were sex workers because they could not get any other work because of the discrimination they endured.
What was surprising was how the rest of the community let it rest. No one was harmed by their behavior. The PDA's were kept to a minimum, as they should be for even heteros. And a hetero guy is just as likely to sneak in the woman's room then as now, even without a gender neutral rest room. Perverts will always be perverts.
Someone who is genuinely Trans is struggling every moment, worrying whether they will be beaten, never mind trying to get into a rest room, and with trying to just cope with their own identity issues.
I agree kids should be given the chance to self identify with their parents. Child development is touchy. A parent has a right to bring up their child the way they feel is right. But when they get to the stage where gender identity might become a problem, usually adolescence, let them develop their own way, giving them guidance as you see fit. You are not going to beat them into being a man, or a woman because you want it that way. They will just end up miserable, and will likely kill themselves. It happens at an alarming rate -- 41% will try to kill themselves at some point in their life.
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/...s-face-high-rates--suicide-attempts/31626633/
I don't think there is a war on masculinity at all. I am not threatened by the LGBT community. I am OK with my own sexuality. I feel lucky that I know I am hetero and always will be. If there is any threat to men it is from abused women who generalize about all men. But that's their own battle to win or lose. I have gotten my share of really good women....I remember every one of them.
I also remember the tragic ones who were bullied and taunted mercilessly. And I have taken back every gay joke I ever told, but to be honest, even the gays laughed at them. The next years are not going to be easy but we will get through them.
