What Makes You Angry Today?

[Plat-Daddy]

ta

I'm still active, I have to but yeah I am definitely not the most pleasant to be around during that time and it's getting worst every year.

lk to some old timers. not short timers about what or how they learned to turn it down. we cannot turn it off for we have become awakened yet many of the long teeth guys have good ideas of coping. we were taught to be this way not how to be off and on when needed. Straight up. No details while your active to anyone. Just comments like when not here I seem to piss everyone off or scare them. what works for you guys. Your not defective or broken your still human which is very good. When you feel nothing time to be worried. Your brothers are worried about you by this point. I was able to hang with some much older career guys and listened to what works for them when home. Most take up boxing or akido or other arts to have ways to work the tension off. This helps the mind also. The new found different kind of discipline is also a welcome change then the on guard mode we all became used to as normal. Always remember as long as you still feel enough to become pissed off then the brain is still on and can be files away a little at a time. I had to move to the country to get away from triggers in the city. everywhere it seemed. Now a country boy I am still aware but after a calming period I can visit the city still aware but not ready to charge over simple crap.

 

[Deleted member 33437]

Your not defective or broken your still human which is very good.

This is not directed to you Plat-Daddy, I need to vent :mad:

I'm trying to unbreak a broken person, yes I am human in every sense of the word. I'm ok trying to fix the broken me. My body is broken, my mind is broken and my heart is broken.

I try to laugh when I have not so hard days, I cry when I'm dangerously low and to some this is being seen as weak, weird, abnormal unusual... that's me and that's my coping method. In order to judge they better damn be perfect themselves.

To some (you know the ones who judges without getting to know you), yeah those... they see me as a very angry person, sometime out of control and dangerous, they see someone eye strong, stubborn and defensive. I no longer have the ability to tame this steam( well I do, that's why I stay home), I'm explosive but definitely not dangerous... I turn everything towards me actually, I would NEVER dare hurting somebody. You know the little dog complex? All bark, scared as shit... well that is me behind that invincible image I play.

I so wish I could not care what ppl say but I do (caring too much is what got me broken in the first place). I hate being pushed away when I try, if only they knew that me trying took every ounce of me. Because staying home, in my cozy, quiet little house where it safe for me to stay and play.

I hate every comment that stigmatize the military, mental illness and PTSD. We were programmed this way, what do ppl expect? I'm trying my damn hardest to break the mould and be free and be happy again.

So with this lovely social description of mine, I stay home and I mind my own damn business, I drink, I take my meds (yeah yeah psych meds in there), I do my things in a very quiet little house (I'm repeating myself am I?) and most of all I have my dogs.

Done ranting now, good night, felt good to get that off my chest! Now back to regular boy's club programming
;)

 

[Terrier]

Because staying home, in my cozy, quiet little house where it safe for me to stay and play.

As I tell my counselor, as long as I stay within my small tunnel, life is tolerable. But there are sooo many crappy things that try hard to invade my tunnel that it makes my life chaos. I hate it and many days I just want to leave life behind. The only thing that keeps me going is my dog. I would never abandon her. She is from the shelter and we are good for each other. But I am so tired of all the judgements, criticizing, and bullshit from others, makes me scream, but I isolate myself from everyone and everything. Staying in my house, staring out at the world rather than being a part of it is best...

 

[Deleted member 33437]

I'm glad you can relate @Terrier, my house is my safe zone and so are my dogs.

 

[Plat-Daddy]

y

This is not directed to you Plat-Daddy, I need to vent :mad:

I'm trying to unbreak a broken person, yes I am human in every sense of the word. I'm ok trying to fix the broken me. My body is broken, my mind is broken and my heart is broken.

I try to laugh when I have not so hard days, I cry when I'm dangerously low and to some this is being seen as weak, weird, abnormal unusual... that's me and that's my coping method. In order to judge they better damn be perfect themselves.

To some (you know the ones who judges without getting to know you), yeah those... they see me as a very angry person, sometime out of control and dangerous, they see someone eye strong, stubborn and defensive. I no longer have the ability to tame this steam( well I do, that's why I stay home), I'm explosive but definitely not dangerous... I turn everything towards me actually, I would NEVER dare hurting somebody. You know the little dog complex? All bark, scared as shit... well that is me behind that invincible image I play.

I so wish I could not care what ppl say but I do (caring too much is what got me broken in the first place). I hate being pushed away when I try, if only they knew that me trying took every ounce of me. Because staying home, in my cozy, quiet little house where it safe for me to stay and play.

I hate every comment that stigmatize the military, mental illness and PTSD. We were programmed this way, what do ppl expect? I'm trying my damn hardest to break the mould and be free and be happy again.

So with this lovely social description of mine, I stay home and I mind my own damn business, I drink, I take my meds (yeah yeah psych meds in there), I do my things in a very quiet little house (I'm repeating myself am I?) and most of all I have my dogs.

Done ranting now, good night, felt good to get that off my chest! Now back to regular boy's club programming
;)

your good. always ok to vent here. I have a saying to many who do not get it or do not know. I tell them they are not the solution to my problems so I need not speak to them nor care what they think. shuts them down pretty quick. You are strong inside at it will become better one little bit at a time. Most do not know how to address or undertsnad. even those who think they are trained to help us can be the hardest to deal with for they think they know when infact they do not. Nothing wrong with seeking brain time off or peace at home. it has helped ma allot by allowing me to wind down. home time and the world can kiss my ass was for a long time for me. yet the more I wound down then the easier it became to deal with non understanding people. They will not get it for they cannot get it. Your are fine being angry for you have deserved that. Your venting so that is good. The ones they worry about are the ones who smile and seem to never be upset by anything. After a while we all have to face we were dealt a shitty hand. after time it gets easier to displace the anger over it. After time we get were we do not give a shit about it and start looking at others as friends or people in the way of my life the way I want it to go. I owe nobody anything. freedom what your eyes wide open will come with them remaining open. Happy comes later when the stresses become no longer important for others to understand for you. anyone that pushes you away is not worthy of knowing you. NEXT. I have many NEXT until I found great people to know me as me and except me. I hide nothing and nobody in my life exspects me to. this freedom has taken the stress levels down so fast I do not feel the need to comment of thingsa that I used to bitch about. today is oh well I am going fishing or to the store with my wife and the rest of the world can kiss my ass.

 

[Deleted member 43454]

I happen to enjoy my own company more than most's. ;)
Introverted PTS ganja token lone wolf fo life.
I'm like a human lie detector and I don't play along with peoples bullshit.
It is what it is.

 

[Plat-Daddy]

I happen to enjoy my own company more than most's. ;)
Introverted PTS ganja token lone wolf fo life.
I'm like a human lie detector and I don't play along with peoples bullshit.
It is what it is.

Fully understand. was told for years was a gift. NOT is a damn curse. cannot even walk through a church without getting way disappointed for 85% bullshit people. The more civilians I meet the more people can kiss my white ass. Stupid it breeding with stupid and we are out numbered now. Look at the elections. I vote for bart simpsom.

 

[Deleted member 43454]

Fully understand. was told for years was a gift. NOT is a damn curse. cannot even walk through a church without getting way disappointed for 85% bullshit people. The more civilians I meet the more people can kiss my white ass. Stupid it breeding with stupid and we are out numbered now. Look at the elections. I vote for bart simpsom.

Yep, glad I'm not the only one. My votes for Jesus 2016.

 

[Renegade 8]

Trumps comments on PTSD suicide vets really got me breaking shit today. And I'm not in support of Hillary either, just in case. I hate politicians and how they act like the care about us. Meanwhile, here we are dealing with our shit online because the VA is so shitty! I love you all, my sisters and brothers! I want to see us well, and these politicians are using us as talking points and take NO ACTION to better ur quality of life after our service.

 

[Grizzly]

I originally got pissed too. But when I watched it is certainly seems like the remarks were taken out of context!

Both of the candidate needs to eat a bag of dicks in my opinion. They all suck!

 

[Deleted member 43454]

My medicine cannabis is no longer useful for me. I am one of the guys who has predisposed chances of experiencing psychosis from it.
Last night as I laid to get some sleep after ripping a bowl I had so much noise and ruckus in my head it wouldn't let me sleep until the weed wore off...
Jimmy was right... almost like he already knew my future. Well none the less glad I found out after a brief scare. Literally thrown out my paraphernalia. I'm going sober... for how long this time who knows but I've quit cigs, an heavy drinking I can do this... as long as my rage doesn't get the best of me.

PTSD, Psychosis, or TBI headaches...so much f*cking shit I can hardly tell between which one I am truly suffering from anymore.

 

[Plat-Daddy]

Trumps comments on PTSD suicide vets really got me breaking shit today. And I'm not in support of Hillary either, just in case. I hate politicians and how they act like the care about us. Meanwhile, here we are dealing with our shit online because the VA is so shitty! I love you all, my sisters and brothers! I want to see us well, and these politicians are using us as talking points and take NO ACTION to better ur quality of life after our service.

80% of the shit we are in abroad was borne from deals between these assholes and coorp world. Like the man said thank god they did not find oil here, only diamonds.