Introductions

[Jimmy1]

Well I know it annoys the heck out of me when people joining the forum don't provide an introduction, I think it's common courtesy, but Anthony brought up some interesting points to us, the four musketeers.

He asked us to remember why we came to this forum. A lot of us joined the other forum first and were swamped with rules and moderators telling us our grammar was all wrong, or we did not put capitol letters on the headings in our subject box.

We were told that this forum had no rules, you could be yourself. The only rule was that you had to be a veteran, and that you had PTSD. All this other stuff we have added like 'where are you from', 'what units did you serve in', are exactly that, they are qualifying comments 'We Want'.

Now I know that we have had our fare share of whack jobs, trolls and wannabe's, but I think we have to accept that when you look at the world outside the bubble of the forum, it's full of it.

So I have changed my mind. I am going to let things slide. If someone does not show the courtesy of an introduction, I will ask them openly the qualifying questions in the rules. I will say something along the lines of this.

Hey mate, I did not catch an introduction so I have to ask you a couple of questions just to make sure you are not a whack job, a wannabe or a troll.

Are you a veteran? Just want to know where you served mate, and

Have you been diagnosed with PTSD?

These are the only rules of the forum so if you could give me an answer or provide an introduction like everyone else does it will be sweet.

Well that is what I am going to do.

 

[JennyMac]

But all kidding aside....... these intro fights, minor arguments, and all out ass reamings are sucking the joy out of this place. I understand most people will introduce themselves, and the few that don't .......they need to be asked to. It's nothing to get pissed about, and nothing to ream a new member out...but just ask, ask for specifics if need be, but we have to stop being aggressive with new members, some of which took a big step by speaking.

Now as far as trolls go, we can only wait and see on whose ass is sucking wind and who is genuine...it's easy to tell, especially with us being such a paranoid bunch....some will slip thru the cracks,but time will catch up to them.

My two Canadian cents, which I think is only worth a 1/2 cents......

 

[Sarg]

I think that the discussion has made the board aware of the problem and some have stepped forward and asked folks to intro themselves. We're growing. More members could make for some folks having issues with others, it's only to be expected. Someone bothers me, I make sure they're genuine, then ignore them.

I have no doubt we can police ourselves without overly restricting newbys.

Sarg

 

[steve1]

I think some responses to those who haven't intro'd themselves have been harsh. But, that goes with the territory of PTSD sorta, doesn't it? I'm a newbie compared to lots of you, so I haven't seen that many posers. But, I understand they're there, along with the wannabee's & the frustrated family members. We're not an easy group to get along with. Going easier on newbies who neglect to observe the formalities would be fine by me.

 

[BaMuoiBa]

In the end it was a healthy discussion to have as a community. I think everyone gained a bit understanding of both sides of the discussion. The newcomer is entitled to a bit of slack. The wannabe/troll and will be flushed out and show their cards eventually.

Ba

 

[Wagon]

The less drama the better. I'm guilty as hell. Gotten into fights on here before and been rough with people................getting in touch with my inner jerk. Which this ain't the place for. And then there is always the "ignore" button. That works a charm.

 

[JarHed]

We're not an easy group to get along with. Going easier on newbies who neglect to observe the formalities would be fine by me.

Good words Steve. We'll do what we do. One aspect of our condition is a lack of trust so being skeptical of new people is 'normal' for us. I believe in courtesy. I still hold the door open for people; some smile and say thanks, other don't. I still do it. I don't think courtesy is as common as it once was. But the world changes.

When I first came here I didn't think about an intro and don't remember if there was anything written about it. Someone reminded or asked me to post one and I did. I remember it was done in a very nice way. It made me feel at home. That's still the best way I think.

We can't have an open door policy like we do and be too tough about rules right from the get go. Each will do what they do and like all things PTSD, it depends what day it is how we'll react.

As far as the wankers, we seem to ferret them out or they seem to reveal themselves sooner or later. I'd hate to think that someone that really needed help came here but for what ever reason felt turned away. I'm not sure how I would have been after something like that myself. Just Jar's 2cents.

Jar

 

[Sarg]

Correct me if I'm wrong, Jar, but could it be that we are so conditioned to absolutely hate phony vets, stolen valor types, that we all want to dog pile and beat the shit out of everyone we meet? A similar situation is developing with my Vet Center Group. A fellow that is a medically retired highway patrol type that takes up more than his share of our time complaining about how long his claim is taking, blah, blah...

Well, some of the guys invited him along to lunch after the meeting and this guy made the mistake of mentioning that he only spent one day in Nam. One day. One of our most respected members is so pissed off about it that we can expect to hear about it in group next week. I wouldn't doubt it if we vote to send the jerk home.

Maybe that's why we get so ramped up about it. Just a guess.

Sarg

 

[JarHed]

Hey Sarg

I'd agree completely. So few of us have received any recognition of our service that that in itself has left an open wound in us. It's a hard habit to change, like most I guess.

I know when people today find out I'm a vet and say thanks I just smile and say 'your welcome' and leave it at that. I think in that case people want to say something positive. For me and perhaps many, it's too little and too late. The scars we bear run deep. It's what's made us what we are for good and bad.

Jar

 

[Jimmy1]

Quite a few of you guys have known me for over two years now and know that I used to be the person to go into bat for the new blokes when there were questions asked. Sometimes the skeptical ones among you were right and I had to eat humble pie, and others turned out to be active members of the forum.

Personally, if a new guy just says he saw service in Iraq and he has PTSD, then that should be enough, he might be really hurting and feel like all doors are closed and hope that the open door we offer is just that, open. I think we really need to think before we speak sometimes. I normally only ask them who they served with and where they are from to help them, not for my benefit or anyone else on the forum, maybe if they are really struggling and run into another bloke on here that spilled blood on the same ground as them it would make it easier. I suppose I turned it into a bit of a must do for them rather than a question.

Everyone should be taken on face value and this is where the courtesy that Jar talks about comes in with me. Maybe it's the younger generation. For me though, if you join a new group whether it be a new unit, a social club, or a forum, you would generally introduce yourself, say hello and then ask a question, wouldn't that be right?

The big problem we have on here is the 'Fight/Flight' primeval system that is built in. Every time we get a whack job, rather than choose 'Flight' and select the 'Ignore' button, we come out all guns blazing and what happens? It turns out like a fight with the misses, we just can't leave it alone and it usually end with the place in tatters.

 

[Spock]

OK, I just spent the past hour writing about the Troll Paranoia before I found this thread and see it is open season as it should be. I know I missed some of the drama but some recent interrogations seemed to have reached a new level, except for the "gruesome picture dude" which was just truly odd and apparently needed to be addressed.

This is mostly an anonymous forum anyway and it is not like someone is trying to steal our identity or credit card numbers.

... these intro fights, minor arguments, and all out ass reamings are sucking the joy out of this place...as trolls go, we can only wait and see...it's easy to tell, especially with us being such a paranoid bunch...

We're quite adept with our PTSD radar, most of us anyway. Obviously there is nothing yet posted regarding "Requirements for Introductions" and surely not even as visible as the Combat PTSD "Veterans Only" notice. Despite that hard-to-find banner we still have spouses, girlfriends and family trying to post. Recently a new vet noted he had been visiting the site for a few months so the blind "speculation" was he clearly had therefore read every post and KNEW there was a mandatory (unwritten) introduction "RULE" which cannot be assumed. If we keep getting folks girlfriends, spouses or family than why would we assume everyone knows to Intro first?

We need to first try what Jimmy suggests and stay away from the gang-attack-first mentality such as "obviously you can't read" stuff. A polite referral to the Intro section seems appropriate. I like Angle's reposting of a misplaced "Introduction" so that poor guy would not get accused of not posting one and then be confused himself because he thought he had.

Just my take at this point.
Peace!

 

[Jimmy1]

It's simple. There is no requirement for anyone for anyone to provide us any information other than the fact that they were in the military and that they have PTSD as a result of conflict. Simple as that.

If you don't like it, ignore them.

I hate fakers with a real passion. It would be the same as someone wearing a chest full of medals on remembrance day or memorial day. But our job is just to report them to Anthony.

Lets no stoop to any low levels and cause our great forum to fall into disrepute.