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dutchiedelta
Platinum Member
Yes Jarhed, 50s and 60s. I scout for them at fleamarkets cos some of the recipes are wonderful.
Also great tips on how to remove stains and such. Most of the modern crap they sell is based on simple available things as vinegar and bakingsoda.
So great tips and the rest is to be seen in the light of the era it was written.
Mind you, there are a fair few people out there that wouldn't mind a Stepford wife (or husband). :eek:
Also great tips on how to remove stains and such. Most of the modern crap they sell is based on simple available things as vinegar and bakingsoda.
So great tips and the rest is to be seen in the light of the era it was written.
Mind you, there are a fair few people out there that wouldn't mind a Stepford wife (or husband). :eek:
Friday
Sponsor
"Look Busy!" is sadly also great psychology.
Most people, and men specifically, but most people to some degree; tend to knee jerk into the response of "Whatever you see someone doing when you come home, you'll assume they've been doing all day."
It's a variation of the First Impression Fallacy. (Even if proven wildly untrue hundreds of times over, most people still think of you the way they did when they first met you).
So even if you've spent 10 hours doing a complete field day... If you're sitting on the couch having a beer when your spouse comes home... The knee jerk response is "You've been sitting here drinking & relaxing all damn day???". LOL. Even if you know they've been at work all day, and just got home 2 minutes ago, or left a house in boxes and come home to an unpacked home.
Most people, and men specifically, but most people to some degree; tend to knee jerk into the response of "Whatever you see someone doing when you come home, you'll assume they've been doing all day."
It's a variation of the First Impression Fallacy. (Even if proven wildly untrue hundreds of times over, most people still think of you the way they did when they first met you).
So even if you've spent 10 hours doing a complete field day... If you're sitting on the couch having a beer when your spouse comes home... The knee jerk response is "You've been sitting here drinking & relaxing all damn day???". LOL. Even if you know they've been at work all day, and just got home 2 minutes ago, or left a house in boxes and come home to an unpacked home.
dutchiedelta
Platinum Member
Son in law, before the accident, came home to find the kids washed, in pyama and food on the table ready to eat.
Daughter tore her meniscus and he had to take a week off to take care of their three kids and the house.
He now has a healthy respect for how much effort she puts into everything.
Daughter tore her meniscus and he had to take a week off to take care of their three kids and the house.
He now has a healthy respect for how much effort she puts into everything.
Raven
Diamond Member
My husband and I recently had a huge fight over how I seem to do a lot of sitting on my ass. He's working right now, I'm not. Honestly, I have a lot more money than he does regardless. I bought this house. I bought most of the shit in it. I paid off his car loan. He started to bitch me out because he's the bread-winner and I should be more helpful.
Yeah, no, he's not the bread-winner and I don't do nothing. Even if I wanted to do nothing, I've bought myself that right because I already have more damn bread than I know what to do with. Is it unfair that I have a lot of money for doing nothing? Such are our lots in life. He grew up in Detroit and I grew up on the Upper East Side of Manhattan.
I've been doing a lot of volunteer work for the local SPCA to keep busy. Unfortunately, many people have this idiotic notion that you have to be generating income in order to be considered a productive and valuable member of society.
Yeah, no, he's not the bread-winner and I don't do nothing. Even if I wanted to do nothing, I've bought myself that right because I already have more damn bread than I know what to do with. Is it unfair that I have a lot of money for doing nothing? Such are our lots in life. He grew up in Detroit and I grew up on the Upper East Side of Manhattan.
I've been doing a lot of volunteer work for the local SPCA to keep busy. Unfortunately, many people have this idiotic notion that you have to be generating income in order to be considered a productive and valuable member of society.
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Raven
Diamond Member
The fight happened because stuff isn't really getting done around the house. He thinks that since I don't work, I should be a housewife and clean/cook/iron his shirts all day or something.
No. We both go off and do jobs during the weekday. I just don't get paid monetarily for mine. I would see his point if we were struggling to make ends meet and I was off doing volunteer work, but we're more than comfortable and I pull more weight than he does financially, so he cannot possibly accuse me of not contributing any money to the household--and he hasn't. He's just butthurt that the place isn't as clean and tidy as he'd like it to be. He thinks it's my job to fix that because I'm not actually working. The 1950's called, it wants its attitude back. The argument ended when I said, "Fine, I'll just hire a cleaning service to come in every couple weeks." Instead of agreeing, he said, "You just want to throw money at everything."
I hate that he puts me into positions where I have to use that as leverage against him. I normally abhor people who make a huge monetary gestures and then use them as leverage later.
No. We both go off and do jobs during the weekday. I just don't get paid monetarily for mine. I would see his point if we were struggling to make ends meet and I was off doing volunteer work, but we're more than comfortable and I pull more weight than he does financially, so he cannot possibly accuse me of not contributing any money to the household--and he hasn't. He's just butthurt that the place isn't as clean and tidy as he'd like it to be. He thinks it's my job to fix that because I'm not actually working. The 1950's called, it wants its attitude back. The argument ended when I said, "Fine, I'll just hire a cleaning service to come in every couple weeks." Instead of agreeing, he said, "You just want to throw money at everything."
I hate that he puts me into positions where I have to use that as leverage against him. I normally abhor people who make a huge monetary gestures and then use them as leverage later.
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dutchiedelta
Platinum Member
Kinda puts in perspective his reaction on the pics in your new phone. Nuff said in public.
Friday
Sponsor
There are some things in life I'm bad at & comfortable about. Paying bills is one. Keeping house is another**. Which is why when I've had enough money to live off the interest AND been skint on minimum wage or less (but have income)? I have an accountant*. Both extremes. Because no matter how much money I "have" I can't pay bills on time to save my life. Just. Can't. Do. It. (Evil Nike). When I'm broke, the accountant pays for itself. Their fee is more than made up for in what I'm saved in late fees, forgot to pay taxes, overdraft from using the wrong checkbook (who requires checks these days??? The morons at the water company. Fine. I'll shower at the gym & flush with bottled. Bite me.) When I have money, then yah, the accountant costs a penny or two. But they still preform a service I can't otherwise do.
Anyhow, my ex took over our finances. And would go on these binges where "You need to learn responsibility" blah blah blah. Wanted me to know the stress of paying bills. <grin> "Fine, honey. No worries. You shoulda said it was stressing you out. Got this." Aaaaaaaaaand rehired the accountant. My ex was not pleased.
Honestly, I still don't understand.
People can hire: mechanics, barbers, babysitters, electricians, and f*ckall everything else under the sun, and no one even twitches.
But <gasp> hire a f*cking maid or an accountant? And it's like you've just lost your Human Card or something.
I'm sorry, but I'm not going to tie my self worth to math and laundry.
If you can take your car to a mechanic, or send your kids to school instead of fixing the damn thing, or singing the alphabet song? Then I can have someone do maths and dishes.
* My favorite source of accountants are Stay At Home Parents going insane from not working with a CPA they don't use. Either a flat fee or a percentage, and it's still way less than going through a firm / lets them work from home. My paycheck go into a joint account, they pay my bills out of it, sift some into something like an escrow account (taxes and the like) and the rest into my personal accounts. I get a printout or email monthly. Easy peasy. Done.
** There are ramen times where I can't afford a maid. Any time I'm not juggling bills and eating ramen? A maid is a line item on my budget. Period. I CAN clean. Anyone who has been military "can" clean. I've learned it's not healthy to do all the stuff I "can" do. ;)
Anyhow, my ex took over our finances. And would go on these binges where "You need to learn responsibility" blah blah blah. Wanted me to know the stress of paying bills. <grin> "Fine, honey. No worries. You shoulda said it was stressing you out. Got this." Aaaaaaaaaand rehired the accountant. My ex was not pleased.
Honestly, I still don't understand.
People can hire: mechanics, barbers, babysitters, electricians, and f*ckall everything else under the sun, and no one even twitches.
But <gasp> hire a f*cking maid or an accountant? And it's like you've just lost your Human Card or something.
I'm sorry, but I'm not going to tie my self worth to math and laundry.
If you can take your car to a mechanic, or send your kids to school instead of fixing the damn thing, or singing the alphabet song? Then I can have someone do maths and dishes.
* My favorite source of accountants are Stay At Home Parents going insane from not working with a CPA they don't use. Either a flat fee or a percentage, and it's still way less than going through a firm / lets them work from home. My paycheck go into a joint account, they pay my bills out of it, sift some into something like an escrow account (taxes and the like) and the rest into my personal accounts. I get a printout or email monthly. Easy peasy. Done.
** There are ramen times where I can't afford a maid. Any time I'm not juggling bills and eating ramen? A maid is a line item on my budget. Period. I CAN clean. Anyone who has been military "can" clean. I've learned it's not healthy to do all the stuff I "can" do. ;)
My wife and I have a good thing going. A partnership. She stays at home and takes care of the house and the cooking and I work a job. She stays home because she wants to, not because I want her to. I want her to be free to make her own decisions. If she decides to get a job, so be it. She also handles our finances. If not I would not have any money. we're a team and it works really well for us. That 1950's bs if I tried to pull it would result in me being in a combat zone again...lol...not happening. Wifey happy....hubby happy...lol.
griz: im 34 and i dont know where to start either. i chased away a great gal last october and i havnt really began any healing process. i feel like a total faggot for even saying that. i have NEVER had relationship issues that i couldnt just roll off my chest. i think its because i was handed a "perfect" situation and managed to f*ck it up. im sure we have all been there. i wish i had tried harder, or gotten help sooner, or just kept my mouth shut. im a freakn idiot.
OldDoorGunner
Diamond Member
5line, yes I would say we have all been there. I am on wife number 4, lost count of all the ones I run off. It would have been good had I gotten help sooner, but f*ck, that was in days long ago. You are not a freakn idiot!!! You just got PTSD and at 34, you still have a lot of time to learn and make it work. One day at a time, small steps, every day...(y)
J R
J R
one day at a time yessir. thanks for the support. i managed to type myself into a funk........:poop:
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