Never Leave A Fallen Comrade?

[JarHed]

Ok, perhaps another riddle to you. You won't get it till you do get it.

The sunset thing is this; change your focus. you're totally engaged in problems, problems and more problems. It's a quagmire, you're stuck there. You can get out but you've got to be the one to make the changes you need. No one can do that for you.

The advice people here give, they give because we've all been where you are. I'm not trying to lessen your condition and it really doesn't help to know that except that they've made the move that you need to. It's not easy and it take work and time. It may not seem so now but it can get better, it's up to you.

 

[Sleeping Dragon]

OK my Brother, forget the f*cking sunset cause it's not about f*cking sunsets.

It's about steps that are necessary to change how you think and react. If you don't make those changes you're not going to make it. It's that simple.

As for you spilling your guts.........well that's one way to start. And, the start means you've taken a "BABY STEP". When you stack those steps end to end they add up to your road back to a life that's worth while.

What we're talking about here is life style changes. And, you're gonna be working on those changes for as long as you live. And, as Griz and jar pointed out, It's all up to you. No one thing will fix it. Ya gotta work on it each and every day. Ya, it really sucks. They didn't tell you about that in basic training did they. But, that wasn't their job. What they needed to do was change you to a point where you could become a stone cold killer. You needed that training to survive the killing fields.

Now you need to train yourself to survive in another world. Problem with that is you're always gonna be a warrior, and warriors have to adjust to living without war.

All right, enough for now. Keep posting, and read what all these old grunts have to say. I do it nearly every f*cking day. And, I've been dealing with this shit for over forty years.

SD

 

[Spock]

Sage advice one and all ... Guess now I'll trade in the Vodka and Dope for the VAs dope. ....

Best to avoid all "dope" since it restricts your ability to reflect what is going on in your head and how you can move forward. But, like any other tool, there is a way to use some "dope" in small doses to help you get through tough spots to move forward, which is far different than numbing pain or hiding from reality.

 

[Army Doc]

Thank you guys. Thank you so much for the words I needed. I know it's not necessary, but I will say it anyway. I'm sorry for the anger. I hope to one day see the beauty of a sunset. Please know I meant no disrespect. It's so hard to realize that I have turned into the the person I hate. And the most beautiful women I've ever known looks at me with pity in her eyes when there used to be respect.

 

[Spock]

Thank you guys. Thank you so much for the words I needed. I know it's not necessary, but I will say it anyway. I'm sorry for the anger. I hope to one day see the beauty of a sunset. Please know I meant no disrespect. It's so hard to realize that I have turned into the the person I hate. And the most beautiful women I've ever known looks at me with pity in her eyes when there used to be respect.

We all understand brother, if we don't get the anger than no one will. The beast makes us numb after combat, ironically though except for anger. Even later when we are able to avoid, distract and cope with it better it is still there waiting for frustration and triggers to set it off again. You will get use to it and work around it better eventually.

 

[Army Doc]

I'm so ashamed of myself. It took all day to respond. I know I'm wrong. I thought of all the ways everyone was wrong but me. And I remembered my old 1SGT told me "You always have to shave in the mirror". I am humbled. I think it's time for me to listen more and talk less.

 

[Army Doc]

I've been reading threads for a couple hours now. I'm trying to understand. Pride, anger, sad, regret, I mentioned pride? All these emotions I felt while reading the pieces of lives shared here amogst us grunts. As a Medic I've seen the physical damage combat does to this mortal coil. When your leg is broken and you howl in pain, ah, he howls because his leg is broken, and he is in pain. What did you expect? But what if you howl in pain because your soul is broken? Do you get the same compassion? Would the same health care provider, who so gently cared for that broken leg, try to set a broken soul.

 

[JarHed]

But what if you howl in pain because your soul is broken? Do you get the same compassion? Would the same health care provider, who so gently cared for that broken leg, try to set a broken soul.

If you're lucky enough to find one, yes they will. They're out there, a bit hard to come by, but you have to look for them. Like anything, you have to keep looking till you find the right 'fit'. Don't give up on that, it can be a huge help in healing.

 

[Sleeping Dragon]

But what if you howl in pain because your soul is broken? Do you get the same compassion? Would the same health care provider, who so gently cared for that broken leg, try to set a broken soul.[/QUOTE]

You're onto something important here my Brother. You've been wounded. And, those wounds are just as real and serious as those you saw as a medic. THEY MUST BE TREATED, OR THEY WILL FESTER AND CAUSE MUCH GREATER DAMAGE.

Those wounds are very ugly, and will cause many to turn away. Those who accept you for who you are including the ugly wounds can be hard to find. But, they're there. Keep looking for them. And, make your healing process your number one priority.

If you haven't already, try the folks at your closest Vet Center. Most of their councilors are ex-military, and that makes a difference. Vet Centers are part of the V.A., but separate from it. It's generally much easier and quicker to see someone there.

And remember, admitting problems with post traumatic stress in not a sign of weakness. It's understanding how important treating a wound really is.

SD

 

[LIllabeth]

I Will come For You,

A good soldiers knows "You never look down on a Medic, because you never know when you will be looking up at one". You are still everything that embodies a good soldier, good medic, good man and now you need to take that knowledge and help yourself as we support you.
Back to basics ABCs.
A. Airway - hold your head up high and know you have a place in this world. Protect your airway.
B. Breathing - breathe my friend. In, out, repeat as necessary and stay calm.
C. Circulation - get out of the wide world for a while. You need to find a "no drug no alcohol" shelter so you can take control of your life again in a safe and stable environment. These are usually run by "Church folk" but I have learned that you may not believe in God but that doesn't mean He doesn't believe in you and that isn't always a bad thing

Three small steps, ABCs. You can do this. There are plenty of good, supportive people who are here to help you

 

[Deleted member 43454]

I feel as though I've put myself in my own mental cage.
It sure as f*ck is not easy. Which is why I am thankful for the older vets on this site.
Their advice should be taken seriously.

Problem is, as with Newtons' 3rd law. Sometimes, at least in my case.
I always learn the hard way. Takes a serious event to snap my ass into, "Ok I'm f*cked up this aint right."
Don't do what I did and throw a mint condition 88' Monte Carlo SS in a ditch upside down.



Damn I miss that car... there went a good chunk of that back pay!

 

[LIllabeth]

DrBlack, are you calling me (gasp) "old"?!? The thing you need to remember about cages, is that they all have doors and doors are meant to open AND close as we want. Figure out why you closed the door and what thing(s) on the other side of the door mean enough to you to get you to open it again, and you will have the key. And yes, although it is a shame about your sweet ride, and I can commiserate as I felt the same when I trashed my favorite t-Rex, the important part, YOU, survived. So sayth the little old lady lol.