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Today Sucked!

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DocSki83

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So I have been missing work at least 2 days a week due to my PTSD and anxiety but this week is the winner so far. I went to work for 2 hours before the anger started and shaking started. I work as a nursing assistant at the Dallas VA in the inpatient rehabilitation unit and we are always booked with other vets I are needing physical and occupational therapies. I was assigned 9 patients, 2 of whom are very dependant on others for everything. Another aide said something to one of my total care patients that had nothing to do with me but I just unloaded my fury onto her without so much as to thinking. I felt bad but then my head started spinning. I was shakey and confused as to what I was doing. I still felt mad for no reason and felt like I could punch someone. I went to my boss and told her I'm going home. She is new and looks at me like I'm trying to skip work. I try to explain my situation but I feel anger building as the look on her face says she doesn't believe me. So I called my wife and she told me should walk into my psychiatrist's office and ask for help. Luckily I can do things like this being an employee. My Dr gave me a new medication call Propranolol. She says to take it when I get shakey and it should help with that but is also a beta blocker and lowers heart rates. I hope this works but I don't want to be all goofy and sleepy trying to work. Who knows? Maybe one day I will feel normal! Maybe I can show my wife me not all f*cked up from PTSD and anxiety and taking handfuls of meds a night to sleep. One can only wish!
 
Well I'm no shrink or therapist dude but I know what you're saying. The sad part is I always felt alone and trapped when I went off in different directions like that. I'm sure I even lost a job or two because of the beast. It's like nobody understands and some still don't today. For me I found that group therapy worked and I went thru the Cognitive Processing Therapy program at the VA as well. It has helped me understand things and to cope. That's what I do, I try to find ways to cope. Hang in there bro.
 
Thats what we do Brothers, we cope. We improvise and adapt. It's not easy, ever, for us to interact in the civilian world, and to work...shit man, it's a hell of a lot added to pts. What helped me to start to cope is specificly identify my triggers for the anxiety..my wife helped alot with that. She's been my best help trying to manage this bullshit. You're not alone in this Doc. It just takes the motivation and the desire to have a happy life Bro. Glad you found this forum..welcome to the unit.
 
Proplanol is Inderal, a beta blocker that originally was formulated to help with blood pressure. But it seems to have a side effect of reducing anxiety.

The best remedy for panic attacks for is to stay situated, and then breath through your mouth using your stomach not your chest. You get more oxygen in that way. Breath out slowly. Try to make every inhale the same length as the exhale in time. Count, say 8 in, 8 out. Lengthen as you go. Don't do so much that you get light headed. Clear your mind. Think of a happy place, a place you went fishing once, or swam in a cool lake or river. It's better than 5 mcgs of xanax.
 
Vikingr24,
I try that but get so pissed off that I can't even breath properly. Today the propanolol worked decently. First time taking it and it was ok. Needed a few cups of coffee to stay wake though. I'm just hoping and praying that I can get this under control. I have 2 semesters left before I apply for grad school. I'm not wiping asses forever. I don't want to be that guy who cant become an occupational therapist because of anxiety.
 
I would also suggest laying off the coffee. Caffeine is the last thing you need when you have anxiety. There is a drug on the market usually in health food stores called 5-HTP (5-hydroxytryptophan). 50 mgs should do. Follow the directions on the bottle. It is not expensive and it is safe as long as you don't take more than what the directions tell you. It promotes relaxation and increases your serotonin level.

Also another drug called Gaba is quite good at settling you down. Again, follow the directions. These drugs are often prescribed by psychiatrists when stronger drugs are not desired. (BTW, I am not a doctor but was a parajumper, and surgical tech -- if that helps.)

The most important thing is to let the drugs work for you. They naturally occur in your body so they are reasonably safe to take.

I've been there with anxiety and panic attacks common with the Beast. If you can get your mind to a calm place, you will do OK.
 
Not new to PTSD by any means but new to this...
help needed...
I like my doctor but don't trust him...
he is the military authority on PTSD.
hes my only option...
gave me a medical report a while back that I got someone to read to me, as I wouldn't have the head to read it...
maybe its paranoia on my behalf but I feel he was very selective in his report.
hes a retired army officer, works as a consultant for them...
im taking a legal case against the military.
the report was i feel very open to scrutiny, and didn't have much of the stuff I tried to do to help myself.
army refuses to accept PTSD is an illness, so he says.
although he diagnosed me.
our CO is obliged to explain about PTSD to the troops, but hasn't done.
I was I feel bullied into the barracks by the doctors as there aware a case is been taken against them.
now I find myself having to explain to any f*cker that wants to no my business, what is wrong with me.
I see a professional privately that offers some comfort, but then im left to deal with shit again and again in work.
im in Ireland by the way
 
apologies by the way.
I know this has nothing to do with anything you guys are taking about...
a comrade of mine is probably sleeping so its me, you guys and the moon.. I normally melt his head with issues and he melts mine.
 
Another aide said something to one of my total care patients that had nothing to do with me but I just unloaded my fury onto her without so much as to thinking. I felt bad but then my head started spinning. I was shakey and confused as to what I was doing. I still felt mad for no reason and felt like I could punch someone.

Yep!

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