I
Ico
I have tried to forgive a lot of the people who caused me blight in my life. I was put into preschool a year before I was supposed to and I started getting beat around that age. I was always a problem in school from the day I went in. When I started to get into trouble in pre k was when the ass beatings would start to happen. From what I remember from my childhood, My parents were very abusive and I would be hit often. My mom would smack me and my dad wasn't any better. He would beat me and my sister. When we would threaten to call the police he would hold up the phone and say go ahead. We would proceed to get hit if we went for it. I was bullied by people on my block and people at my school. I once had people who I thought were my friends beat me up, berate me, and throw a trash can on my head all while filming "the video was never deleted". I have seen death at a young age. I first encountered it about 10 days after my birthday. I got a phone call on the answering machine. It was my mother screaming "she's death OMG she's dead" She proceeded to get worse. I began harming animals in various ways and I did for a very long time. There were good times but the more I think about it the less I see in the good times. I wonder what my life has ahead of me. Will I bring good into the world or will I only do to others what has been done to me? I would love nothing more than to go into a simulator and let off all this hate on everyone. Now I am in constant pain every day and I jump from severe depression to being normal like that. My parents divorced about 3 years ago and things have not been much better but I am not getting hit anymore. Mostly because I can destroy them with no effort. People cry and say "how could something like this happen" when some kid shoots up a school or kills themselves and I can't believe people get to be that ignorant. The world we live in sucks. Your fellow human beings are trash for the most part and the few that are smart enough to see this are chastised. Well, Here goes the old college try. I just got a one day a week job and I am putting in applications at other places. I've been smoking a lot of weed and I will continue to because it's the only meds as of now out there for this and It takes away from the physical pain. Does anyone else out there feel the same?
