Other Narcissism?

[BoN-bOn]

I think because I'm realizing how much narcissism I've been surrounded by my entire life, I'm so paranoid about being a narcissist myself. I've been reading about covert narcissism. Lately I am focused on myself & my healing, & I've made some selfish choices in the process & hurt people that I love, but I don't think that I try to manipulate people or play the "victim?" I am able to see my mistakes & I own them. I don't think of myself as any better than anyone else...just the opposite! I feel inferior. An article I read said that if you feel self conscious around people that can make you a narcissist because you are only thinking of YOURSELF. I'm not sure I agree with that. When I am in a group of people, I am so tuned in to what THEY are feeling. Yes, I feel different. I always have. But not superior. A wise person once told me that narcissists, sociopaths, & psychopaths never worry about whether they are "crazy," or different because they are incapable of recognizing their own faults. I thought that put me in the clear, but I guess I question whether or not I'm being selfish by making my feelings & my healing a priority. There's always that guilt that maybe I'm not that important. Any thoughts?

 

[Deleted member 12723]

The fact that you are asking the question is your evidence that you are not a Narc. They never look at themselves or their motives. Please do not make yourself feel bad because you are asking the question.

 

[EveHarrington]

Mainstream America has claimed narcissism as the latest and "greatest" (haha) psychological ailment.

You'll hear everything from how anything that isn't 100% selfless is narcissistic all the way up to how having narcissistic traits is a good thing.

I try to ignore the hype.

Self care is not now nor will ever be "selfish" in terms of getting your needs (NEEDS!) met.

Selfishness NEVER applies to needs, only wants.

This is my opinion. I'm recovering from the idea that doing anything for myself makes me a selfish person.

 

[Friday]

Every single symptom of every single personality disorder is a human trait that we all experience or express from time to time. Some more than others.

All it means is that you're human.

 

[BoN-bOn]

I think I need to stop reading so much. Haha!

 

[BoN-bOn]

Narcissists & sociopaths/psychopaths can't recognize their faults....I could give you a list of mine...#1-#1000

 

[Deleted member 43454]

Yea I fell victim to one of these psychological attacks. People really can be nasty throwing around their diagnosis with no medical background or understanding of wtf they're actually saying. I agree with what Friday said. Someone through that covert narcissist shit on me not too long ago and I went searching online lol. Had to double check I wasn't one and ultimately found I wasn't. But the characterists were so broad and I could see anyone at some point falling into them. So the best quote I found on there was a reply from some random guy who I don't know but I thought it was a brilliant response. Here it goes:

"The way systems defend themselves is, paradoxically, by placing undue emphasis on individuals. In order for systems to maintain themselves, the bulk of expectation must be carried by individuals; it is the individual's responsibility to conform to the system, and any objection on the part of the individual is framed as entitlement. All dissent is effectively quashed by labeling the dissenter a whining, covert narcissist with a martyr complex."

 

[BoN-bOn]

Mainstream America has claimed narcissism as the latest and "greatest" (haha) psychological ailme...

@EveHarrington l never set out to get my needs met, jus try & survive day to day & provide for my kid. My needs seem so unimportant...that's one of my biggest obstacles.

 

[BoN-bOn]

Every single symptom of every single personality disorder is a human trait that we all experience or exp...

Always love your responses @Friday ! So real!

 

[Sideways]

I have no alternative but to see the world from my own perspective. I experience the world through my own eyes, considering everything with my own mind, and while I can think about how others might be feeling, I can never really live in their shoes. Mine are the only shoes available to me. That doesn't make me a narc.

We are all narcissistic in that respect. It's neither good nor bad, it just is.

It's a problem when no one else matters, when you can't empathise with anyone, and where the rest of the world onky exists for your own private pleasure of benefit. That's not what you're describing though.

Based on popular culture, one would be forgiven for thinking that every other person on God's green earth is suffering from NPD. With it being bandied around so much, it's no wonder we momentarily get caught up in the "I must be a narc" panic. In your case? Let that moment pass. This is not pathology that I think you need to personally worry about:)

 

[BoN-bOn]

Everyone else MATTERS to me. So much that I put my own needs aside. I think you are right @Ragdoll Circus ....it's OKAY to worry about me for now. I need to get in touch with myself & be okay with what I'm feeling. All of the pain & sympathy I am feeling for that innocent little girl is okay. & THAT is where the ultimate healing lies.

 

[BoN-bOn]

I HURT for everyone. My brother in law who raped me...I feel pain for my sister & my nephews. I can feel others' pain, just have trouble connecting & feeling my own. I'm getting there. It sucks. Just the fact that I am allowed to feel pain makes me cringe. I am allowed that though, & I need to sit with it & forgive MYSELF