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Undiagnosed My insect ptsd?

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Reilan

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Long story short: I've always had a massive fear of insects

Now, I've always thought this was a big phobia of mine and never even thought of PTSD until recently. Now I'm unsure whether or not it is. (This is why I'm here)

It all started when I was 2 years old and I was out on a picnic with my nursery. My mum told me that apparently an ant or two crawled over my foot and it pretty much traumatized me. Weeks and months from that point, I'd refuse to get into bed, get into my clothes (other than my vest and pants that I refused to change), my shoes or even leave the house, as I thought there would be bugs everywhere. The only way I would get to sleep is either by passing out or watching my mother shake my bed literally upside down to show me that there was nothing there. It got to the point where it was so bad I had to be taken to the hospital in nothing more than my same vest and top (no shoes or socks). I was prescribed some sort of medicine which made me more happy to be outside but as soon as an insect was around I'd run crying back inside. There were times at school where I felt trapped if there were insects around, I'd feel a sense of death, entrapment or "impending doom" when close or next to a bug and unable to move away. As the years went on a did have minor traumatic experiences which didn't help (Like a wasp being stuck in my shirt) but as I got older the phobia did get better, at age 10 and above I spend most my time indoors anyway but from 15/16 it got to a point where it wouldn't bother me if a wasp/fly buzzed past me or was in the same room as me. Suddenly everything changed at the age of 18.
Maybe it was the location I had moved too but it got to a point where if there was a spider, moth or wasp/bee in my room and I was unable to get it out, I'd refuse to sleep there that night. I would start panicking and breaking down quickly. One big incident which happened late last year/early this year, what that an exterminator was sent round to get rid of a wasps next in the attic. My dad closed my door and told me, "I'm just closing your door so incase any come down, they wont come in.) I was fine with this and carried on watching my YouTube videos. Five minutes later I heard what sounded like a chainsaw so I thought the guy was cutting some wood to get to the nest. I saw one fly, two flies, 5, 10, start coming into my room. I then realized the chainsaw sound was a ton of awoken flies that had piled down from the attic, into the house because of the poisones spray that had been distributed up there. I quickly freaked out and they were all flying underneath my door. I put my head in my jumper, knees to my chest and rocked back and fourth with heavy breathing for what seemed eternity. I heard my dad and this guy run down the stairs yelling, "STAY CALM, IT'LL BE OVER SOON." There must have been a good few thousand flies that came down as our beige carpet was black (As they had all dropped dead from the spray). I then broke down after it all happened and cried the whole day. Everytime I think about it I get upset.
Now everytime an insect flies past me, I automatically scream, freak out and nearly always cry. I don't cry because I'm scared, I cry because I'm angry at myself for freaking out over "nothing" so at the moment you could say I'm in denial. My family now get mad and angry at me everything I scream and tell me "its just a bug". LIKE I DON'T KNOW THAT? "They won't hurt you so why are you scared..." Everyone must get that.

So what I'm asking is that is this just a major phobia or any type of PTSD because of how I've acted over certain events?
 
No one on this forum can diagnose you. We can't determine if you have PTSD or not, but I am not sure that that fits into the criteria of a qualifying trauma.

That is a horrible phobia at the very least, and it must be incredibly difficult to live with. Are you receiving any kind of therapy for it?
 
Your symptoms, the way you act about this fear, indicate this is likely a very awful phobia. You do not describe symptoms that would suggest PTSD.

Phobias are difficult to endure but there are some great treatments out there for them. I have a friend who has a phobia of flying, never been in a plane crash. No amount of trying to explain how the plane is safe changes it for her. She couldn't even go near airports. She got therapy for it and flies with ease now.
 
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