How do you respond to your trauma narratives in between sessions?

[Scarlet13]

So, this post is inspired by a post I did awhile back on how I obsess with my trauma in between therapy sessions. This was not good and not healthy. I became immersed into my trauma.
But I can't help but think that the natural processing of trauma that occurs after a session (or randomly) is good.
This is inspired by a person who responded to my previous thread on obsession of trauma. She said she lets the trauma processing (thoughts, narratives, images, memories) "rise" on their own and this usually takes about 3 days.
Perhaps trauma thoughts, memories, images that rise naturally are there as signs of healing. They can be signals from your brain to heal. They can also be signs of distress.
So what do you do with these thoughts and feelings? How do you view them?

 

[deeplyloved]

What great questions. I think my body and brain are wise and desperate to heal. I trust what my body tells me and I also know that I can torture myself with recalling too much alone with my own self-blame and harsh criticism. I need my therapist's help to craft a compassionate narrative to accompany the facts of the traumas. When I'm alone, I pretty quickly start telling myself I'm so stupid and weak and worthless because of my shame about what happened to me.

Outside of therapy, I have a 5-10 minute limit I try to hold for myself when it comes to sitting with painful memories and my feelings about them. If they don't start to subside after giving them my attention for that long, I start pulling out my coping strategies: affirmations, prayer beads, positive distractions, etc.

I can relate to getting stuck in the trauma in unproductive, unhealthy ways. I frequently feel suicidal after talking aloud about traumatic events in therapy. I have to be really gentle with myself and do something grounding. Going for a walk with a close friend helps me process with more self-compassion. We actually don't always talk about therapy. But she knows what I'm struggling with and knows I've just come from therapy. I left myself feel loved and just let my body work it out.

I keep a little journal with me for tracking my emotions related to body memories. I set my intention to honor my healing by writing it down and try to let myself box it up until therapy. (I just write brief little notes: usually an overwhelming and unexpected grief or fear or shame washes over me and I try to identify where in my body it originated and what mental memory I think it might be connected with ... like I feel scared and pathetic for "no reason" but I notice myself running a sore spot on my elbow and then I recall a traumatic incident that involved my elbow.) If I free-write about these things, I get overwhelmed and emotionally flooded pretty fast. Taking little notes and observations and promising myself I will share them in therapy seems to help me stay functional enough to actually do the healing work.

 

[Nessa7]

The way I deal with it is to put it away for the rest of the day of my therapy appointment. I can write a short outline of what we talked about and what I might want to journal about after I get home, but I'm not going to really delve into things. The trip home has become more difficult with each therapist that I've seen, so I need to put it away just to be able to get where I need to go without too much added stress. It's easy for me to spiral into anxiety just because I missed a bus, and I'd be a mess if I let stirred up feelings into the mix.

I try to do something to reward myself after a therapist appointment. With this newer therapist, I'm going to be accumulating a lot of $1.99 nail polishes, because the best bathroom on the way home is in a Walgreens. It's in a pretty area with a lot of benches to relax on, and I'll bring a book for a few minutes before heading home. I also meet up with my grandfather. Something about riding in his truck and listening to the radio is really grounding for me.

That still doesn't help me get a handle on having the stirred up emotions and memories effect my reactions to things in my present. I think my first step is going to be recognizing when I'm doing it. When I can recognize that it's emotional flooding from a therapy appointment, it makes it a little easier for me to stop things from spiraling way out of my control.

 

[The Albatross]

Put them into context and remember the story being careful to play the scenario all the way through to the end where I was safe or okay.

 

[Scarlet13]

What great questions. I think my body and brain are wise and desperate to heal. I trust what my bod...

I like this a lot! What great insights and self control, you have. I love that you view yourself as sitting with your pain. This is a very measured and incremental process which is great. I like the idea of note taking or jotting down observations. These are skills that help with distancing and control so you dont get overwhelmed with pain, but at the same time they let you experience the pain. I am trying to figure out ways to allow my self to experience the trauma naturally and organically in between sessions but in healthy ways. I think there is a reason symptoms do occur that actually points to health in a way and it is not disordered. (These symptoms can be disabling though).

Put them into context and remember the story being careful to play the scenario all the way throug...

That is an interesting concept. Playing the narrative all the way to where you were ok. I cannot do that though. I dont remember when I was ok.

 

[ShodokanJenn]

I do trauma work every day outside of therapy. I write out memories, and we go through them in therapy. Then during the days in between, I go through whatever memory we're working on each day for exposure. Any thoughts or feelings that come up, I write in the journal my therapist reads. He reads it during the week, since it's a shared document on Google Docs, but only responds if I let him know I feel an urgent need has arisen. Then when I go in for my appointments, we have a starting focal point instead of having to spend the precious time getting to the point. I think processing outside of therapy is healthy. Obsessing isn't. I give myself 30 minutes a day to obsess away, and then I move on to distraction. It works fairly well, as I know I can't completely not obsess, but 30 minutes is a manageable time frame. Is this something you can bring up with your therapist?

 

[Scarlet13]

Yes, I am collecting ideas and then using these insights to help myself I figured this is better than just telling myself, don't process your trauma on your own!
That is interesting about a shared google doc. I am not sure my t would be into that. That sounds like a good arrangement though.
I keep hearing about journaling and I do write in my journal and read it to my t, but I try to keep it succinct as I dont want to just read to my t the whole time and that has happened for me. It sounds like you have a very proficient process.