Chaotic sessions

[Teamwork]

Our system got off track derailed by visit from sibling who likely called someone out and sent a few into hiding. It's making it hard at home but even worse to do a session due to rapid switching. I'm frustrated that the psychologist is unable to guide the process but really frustrated with us because we mess the process up by him having to talk to so many. Sometimes if he sees someone is interfering he asks to speak to them but then once he does that the back and forth is ongoing. No idea what I got from today's session other than fatigue and confusion. Could really use some help to just I don't know not feel alone and gain some control. A lot I don't know who to gain control of or if that's the wrong word then maybe I don't know. How to get leadership maybe? Anyone else have good communication inside that suddenly goes off track so that their is chaos?

 

[Punky143]

I know how you feel! My T used to tell my parts that it's not the time to visit and needed more of an invitation or to announce their presence. This happened for a few sessions but it left me so distraught afterwards and the parts all over the place. Recently though we had a conversation about it and took another approach. I told her it only hurts their feelings and makes some mad. Now, I try very hard to stay present but if I'm seen noticeably switching, she asks if I give permission for someone to come out and share what they have to say. Usually it's ok but it gives me, some control. And control is something I struggle to have and feel. Don't get me wrong, the parts are amplified and the same thing with you, they come and go so rapidly and I try so hard but why fight them? It can only build more trust with my T as we navigate at an excruciatingly long road to past and current trauma. I've been with her for 10 years. I am happy with her and I value her trust more than anyone else. But, its been a rough road the last 2 years and something happened that triggered the past and since then, the triggers are everywhere all the time, my mind obsesses about everything, past or present then I judge myself and go down that road. Or, even though at the end of the session I might be mostly grounded, the min I walk out its as if the world is surreal. I sit in my car for awhile when session has been especially hard. I refuse to drive. I don't know if I've helped or blabbed on.

 

[Teamwork]

I know how you feel! My T used to tell my parts that it's not the time to visit and needed more of an...

Ok yes this is true. The something happened and now parts are all over the place or being triggered is what I'm talking about. I don't think the psychologist is helping, me but I do not know if he invites chaos either by trying to ask for someone who seems to be challenging him. He never tells us how we are doing or if we have made progress. I'm extremely lost at the moment. My t never says someone can't be out he just may say it's almost end of session who is going home? The other thing is, what exactly is a session? I go in he says whose here he asks too many questions right away and that does begin the process. He talks I answer but then I take it he annoys someone they glare at him ointerrupt me so then he says whoever is doing that your welcome to come talk to me, then I literally don't know what's going on. Sometimes like today I just come home and think well what the heck am I working on?

 

[Sideways]

Yeh, okay so if my T was to start a session by addressing my parts, rather than me? Circus. Instantly. Lay out the welcome mat and invite everyone to sit down and let loose with all their respective problems!

I've had a problem with rapid switching lately, and my time with my T is precious. For ME! It's not anyone else's time, unless they have a specific issue that we've agreed needs to be aired. So me and my T will tolerate the odd intrusion, but only if there's a special issue in play. The rest of the time, it's not how my system has agreed to operate and my T will help me get grounded before we proceed.

If there is rapid switching, yeah, ok, it means there's a few parts that are all having issues. And that's something I address outside therapy. But more so, when there's rapid switching its usually because I'm not coping as well, and that's the most urgent issue to address. Because if I am coping, they don't need to take charge.

If your T isn't well-versed with DID, it may be hard for them to know how to manage the chaos. You may need to give them some guidance as to how you personally need the situation handled. But I would definitely start with telling T, even before you sit down, "Please don't address my parts today, because I want to stay in charge".

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

I definitely have sessions where there is rapid switching and it leaves me exhausted. Sometimes a little part comes out just so we can sleep in session. My therapist is good a bringing me back. We have a sort of code that I respond to and come back to the present. When parts come out a lot when I want time for just me, I tell my therapist and she works really hard to help me stay present by changing to neutral topics or using grounding techniques if I start to feel switchy. It's not always perfect, but it helps.

 

[Teamwork]

Ok main hasn't been around for awhile he said that today. But two mostly do everything till they get tired then like now it's some who are higher rank I think but they've not been wanted to join us so he seems to speak to them separate and I don't know what they say. Can hear that they are angry with him and often call him things I wouldn't say.

 

[Sideways]

Can you bring yourself back? You're parts aren't the ones who are supposed to be here.

 

[Teamwork]

I don't know he mentioned the name and asked if I knew them and I didn't and he said that the family visits push the person down. So somewhere is the one he was asking me about. I wasn't sure if you mean here on the site talking when you say should be here? Sorry it was a confusing sentence.

 

[Sideways]

Yeah, I wasn't sure who I was talking to, and whether you were ok with your parts communicating here (I wouldn't be!).

But the question is often all it takes to bring me back. If that helps.

The sibking visit has been a nasty trigger - have you done some self-soothing?

 

[Teamwork]

Ok where should I go then?

 

[Sideways]

You should log off, and do something that everyone finds safe. Some of your parts need you to help calm the system right now. Can you do that?

 

[Teamwork]

Yes so just close the window and it will log off?