What is it like for you?

[Stephernovas]

I'm aware that we all experience panic attacks individually, even though there is a specific list of common symptoms that classify us to have PTSD. I'm curious what panic attacks are like for others? I've read that some people mention they are out with friends, triggered, and then immediately they are spiralling into a panic attack. When you state that, are we meaning you start feeling symptoms? If so, what are they? I am wondering if I'm labelling what I experience wrong. For me, I don't call it an actual panic attack until I've lost control of my thoughts and hyperventilating begins, since at that point my brain/body is flooded with sheer panic. Anyone willing to share?

 

[Friday]

For me, I don't call it an actual panic attack until I've lost control of my thoughts and hyperventilating begins,

For me, that's the start of one. Everything blanks & my heart rate jumps from about 50/60bpm into 140-200 range. It can go a couple different directions from there, depending how much/ how little control I have.

- If I have any control, then I divorce my mind from my body. Most basic, very first step. I kick into fight, not flight, so the only way to protect the people around me is to basically paralyze myself, and remain very very very still... Or to keep doing exactly what I was doing before. The second piece is harder, and not always possible.

- If I have a lot of control, then I can physically sort of yank myself back to myself. I'll still want to shred someone, my heart will still be going a mile a moment, my hearing wonky, breathing shallow, and vision completely tunneled to right in front of me... But I can think. And thinking lets me slowly start taking control back over my body. If I catch it soon enough? This can actually just be a couple moment/minute process. If not? It usually takes a few hours while everything washes over and burns/screams/shakes itself out. There's no real sense of time involved. Everything sort of exists all at once. But the more often I do it? The faster I get at catching things early. So it's a lot more like having your face suddenly slammed into a table... Everything goes seriously f*cked for a minute or three, but I'm basically fine, minus the broken nose & slight disorientation. Doesn't really take much out of my day.

- If I have no control? It gets messy. It's been a long time since I had no control.

***

When my anxiety is running hot / I'm having an anxiety attack (as opposed to a panic attack) it's a waaaaaay scaled down version of the above. Everything is spiking, but manageable. Heart rate up, breathing shallow, icewater in my veins, difficult to think, hearing slightly off, vision difficult, movement off... And I'm edgy/reactive/snarly as f*ck, so I have to reeeeally exert a lot of effort to moderate my affect (and often just would rather isolate). But the difference between an anxiety attack and a panic attack? Like the difference between a lightning bug & a bolt of lightning.

 

[Stephernovas]

That's so interesting - thanks for sharing! I find I get symptoms, but it's not until they peak that I call it a panic attack. I'm pretty hard on myself, so I visibly have to be involuntarily shaking from fear while hyperventilating to justify it being called a panic attack - I'm trying to change that thinking by asking the question posed in this forum and seeing how others experience an attack. I'm realizing that the 'simple' act of me suddenly feeling impending doom/danger, eyes widening, breathing becoming laboured, rapid speech, and me rushing around (all while losing concentration - totally scrambled) trying to find something to resolve the overriding fear building, in it's entirety is a panic attack (In one situation in particular, I was further triggered by a lady's voice, that gave me a sensation of a flash of white hot emotions - that's the best way I can describe it). If it's not stopped and things progress to full blown attack, then this where the flashbacks usually set in, and I struggle to keep control of my thoughts. My brain then gets flooded and now the physiological response to fear takes over my body and I start crying, shaking and hyperventilating. I've recently also experienced my hands tingling and going numb. Oh and of course I'm incredibly light-headed because of the extent of my hyperventilating. I find I do get some shortness of breath, but am thankful I don't seem to often feel chest tightness/choking sensations.

I'm currently off work until I can get a handle on this stuff, but it feels like I'll never get it under control. I'm still working on understanding it!

 

[user44376]

I feel a need to flee. Literally flight instead of fight. Followed by a sense of hyperreality. I have no idea what else to call it. It’s like I see everything, existence, the universe, human beings, in full colour, full reality. It all seems bizarre and absurd and it f*cking horrifies me. It’s almost a kind of detachment but opposite. Engagement, maybe? Everything seems too real yet surreal and unreal. I just want to run.