No escape

[Ronin]

What do you do when there's no escape, and people supposed to 'help' and paid for it only make the situation worse?

I'm so tired of trusting anybody & it f*cking backfiring. I'm so tired of living in a cage of a hellhole and being too health f*cked to snap myself to functioning. Can't live right, and don't even have enough of attention to kill myself right.

This isn't life.

 

[Deleted member 37474]

TEMPORARY...

It will get better, and then bad again and then better. Kind of like a clogged drain. If you can find the right paid professional that does it right, you may have a drain that works well without clogs for quite some time! But.., you have to try different plumbers and I am sure some are good and some are bad.

Do not harm yourself. If you try and fail, please fail!!! I am glad. Because what you are feeling is TEMPORARY!

 

[ladee]

@Ronin, you have been here before and made it thru. Do you ever ever ever give yourself any credit at all for still being here searching???
And please share with us what you mean by 'not helping'. Maybe we can shine some light on that. And like @TexCat said, if you try and fail, we hope you fail... I have already told you I am NOT doing this without you... sorry for that ugly responsibility... but there ya have it.... tell us more, and we will see how WE can help. love you very much !!!!

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

I don't remember all of the exact ways I found my way out of those feelings of pretty much being robbed by those f*ckers at the detriment of my own well-being, overall health, and bank account, other than being left to blindly chase every other way possible out of sheer desperation.

I somehow miraculously made/make it through, yet I never truly thought I could, nor even wanted to most of the time. Luckily, (at least it feels that way now - whereas it used to just royally piss me off) I sucked at taking myself out of this existence much more than they did at making me wish I could take myself out.

I don't know the answers for others, but I recognize and experience a deep remembrance of feeling so many of the life draining, heart wrenching, f*ck it all struggles left as a result of seeking help from what was supposed to be the most reputable/effective resources around. Hugs from my heart to yours. May something give in a different way for a change and give your heart a break.

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Ronin Please don't let the f*ckers get to you. You are better than that. Might be time for reassessment of those around you.

We're here and you can bitch anytime you need. Please stay strong....

 

[Tinyflame]

Aw dear @Ronin , :hug::hug::hug::hug::(

Idk, no words, just I too am one of such a club- Idk if I was born undeserving, or am just not worth it, or too much trouble, or have done something wrong? :( We are told to keep trying, try to trust, not mind read, be 'open', be honest. I keep trying, not blaming. But eventually the only one left to blame is me. When I see a person who I know like you post such a thing, Idk why others would do such a thing to you. :(:cry: You of all people are one of the hardest persevering, and most deserving people of help and trust I know. :notworthy:

But I'd rather be in your club, if you'd have me, and my world and many others would not be the same without you in it. I love you too. :hug::hug::hug:

 

[scout86]

Idk if I was born undeserving,

You weren't.

am just not worth it

Not true!

or too much trouble

Nope!

have done something wrong?

Kinda doubt it. :)

@Ronin , you've got friends here, who care about you. Would you like to share some details?

What do you do when there's no escape, and people supposed to 'help' and paid for it only make the situation worse?

Because one thought is to look elsewhere for help and insight. (Personally, I start making crazy escape plans. :devilish:)

 

[Sideways]

@Ronin - life does get shit. There’s a whole lot of people on this planet that can’t be trusted.

But it gets better. It does. Thoughts are with you. Don’t give up.

 

[Friday]

Nah. Ain't life, always. Delaying actions, sometimes. Sometimes for ourselves. Sometimes? Buys friends time to get their side taken care of, so they can get their asses in gear and get over to where they need to be. One way or t'other.

You know this.

And it pisses you off, which is good.

Means you're still wanting. Still fighting. Tired, hurting, pissed off, numb... But still fighting. Knowing there's better, and eyes on that horizon, and doubly pissed off about WTF is going on here?!? Good things. Even though delaying actions f*cking suck in all ways but one. When we're lucky? They work.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

@Ronin I just saw this one and I am wondering how you are right now. I care and am concerned for you and I think you were reaching out for something but I do not know what to say that would give you a spark of life like I would want to. Please come back to this knowing so many here truly care about you and let us know how you are now. Here are some ninja hugs to help out.:ninja::hug::ninja::hug::ninja::hug::ninja::hug::ninja:

 

[Ronin]

To be honest not much better, so quietly re-reading everything all y'all said and hoping it sinks in if I do it often enough.

 

[ladee]

You are loved. No matter how bad things get..you are loved. It won't keep you here but it's something to think about and it does matter.
Setting with you, because I can. Love.