I Need To Remind Myself...

[onebravegirl]

Hi Ghost,
I am sorry for you and the things you suffer, but I will not pity you, So I have something else to say to you as well. Some of what you said sounds like you are an abuser. An abuser says to his/her victim
"Your stupid"
"Your useless"
"No one will ever love you"
"You do not count"
"People hate you"
"Your horrid"
"You deserve this"
ETC...
STOP abusing yourself Ghost.
You need to man up and become your own HERO.
Only your opinion of yourself matters.
Yeh sure the world is full of ass holes. We here know that fact very well.
But Pity is poison and will never help you rise out of the mud.
YOU ARE NOT YOUR INJURIES OR YOUR DISABILITIES.
You are a beautiful and brave person who is trying to find a better way. When ever those lies come seeping into you head, tell them to F*-off. You deserve every beautiful thing that the world holds just as much as the next person. You are worthy, just the way you are.
Your Sister in Battle,
O

 

[Grama-Herc]

Ghost

I remember when I joined the forum and filled out the profile page.

In the section where it said to describe myself-----I listed my diagnosis.
That was how I saw myself.

WE are not our diagnosis. It took me a long time to realize that fact. Yes, we are wounded and we hurt and have trouble with our lives, but-----------we are still
people with feelings. Even if the feelings are pain, we still feel.

Chin up my friend. You are amoung people who "do get it" and just want you to enter into the world of positive thinking. It is possible to feel better and find things to look
forward to. It is a slow process but it is possible to smile again, I promise

 

[Nicky31]

Hi Ghost

It is absolutely right that you should share these things and I am glad that you have. It really does sound as though things are tough right now and I am pleased that you are using the forum to express the reality of your feelings.

I hope though that you have read and heard what others have said in response. It is tougher than anything to face each day when all that you believe is so negative. I am not saying that this is wrong. I also feel like that a great deal, but I also try- usually with the help of others around me, to hold on to and drag back in, some of the more hopeful and positive things into my field of vision. Even if they are the smallest achievements and seemingly insignificant positive thoughts or feelings they can be what spare you from thinking the darkest thoughts.

Please keep posting and being true to yourself, but also be kind to yourself if you can.

Nicky:Hug_emoticon:

 

[hapa_gurl87]

Hey Ghost Man,

I gotta say I feel you on this one. Nothing wrong with being negative all that cbt shit in my opinion is bullshit, forcing yourself to change your thinking and think positive exerts more negative thinking in my experience.

Why not be "negative images" like my friend tells me I should post on a t-shirt or bumper sticker. Being negative isn't a bad thing to do when you're just venting speaking your mind. You're just expressing what PTSD feels like. I can relate a lot.

I always get the feeling so called "normal people" will discover somethings wrong with me no matter how much I cover my condition up. It is uncomfortable and emotionally draining when people get close to me.

You admit your thinking isn't always true so your obviously aware that many of you're perceptions are just distorted thoughts. I mean when you're vulnerable and feel exposed to the world and you're suffering from mental illness, it's hard not to catastrophize and not hold judgments against oneself.

I'm just defending you from some of the replies posted earlier to your thread. Not that any of them were super negative or anything. I mean pretty much everyone had something nice to say. But just know that no one can tell you what will and will not help you, that's for you to decide alone.

I do encourage you to keep sharing and finding support through this forum and outside of this forum. I can tell you don't have high esteem about your self image and the impression that you believe you leave on other people.

I often find that people in my opinion are more focused on their self image than that of any one else. So maybe the next time you feel some one is repulsed by you, that judgement could apply equally to what the person thinks you think of them. We are always our own worst critic.

I imagine there are many great qualities about you that you're not addressing that others and myself would be most happy to point out.

I often get down on myself; its so easy to do. I am not the confident, giddy, excitable person I was before but I still have many great qualities and talents that ptsd hasn't hindered or interferred with. I think having ptsd has only added onto my list of good quality traits such as the fact I am more sensitive and perceptive of others feelings and share more compassion because of this. I am more assertive and careful in situations which are uncomfortable or difficult probably more so now than I was before.

Maybe you're next thread could be about the things you like about yourself and possibly what you know others like about you.

Hapa_gurl87

 

[cragger65]

Man, I feel you Ghost. I have a brain injury myself, 8 years post, and I don't think there's a single person in the world who can comprehend the absoluteness of the devestation unless they've experienced it for themselves.

Mine is a front left lobe injury (dead spot a little bigger than a golf ball) and a second injury site at the base of my skull at C1. Car accident. Major changes in personality, mood, self-image and just about everything. How about you, my friend??

I know it all seems so utterly f'd up and twisted, a trial by fire, but as much as I still bitch I'm doing a lot better than I was a few years ago. Keep talking man. Rant and rage, if you need to. It's OK to release what's inside of you here, as long as you don't direct it AT someone. There's a fine line there, and I'm by no means perfect either, but try to keep that in mind and you should do OK.

Do you have a neuro-psych? PM me if you have any questions. OK?
Dave

 

[helena]

Hi, sorry to butt in but my SO has a brain injury... has a metal plate in the right side of his brain.

No one told us anything here (uk) about the effects of that on his behaviour and I was told only recently (by a sufferer on this site) that it can affect his emotional stability. I am so confused right now, I don't know if it is that... the ptsd.... the alcoholism or just Christmas... that is causing the relapse.

If there is anything you can tell me I would appreciate it.

helena

 

[ghost]

I think I should probably clarify something. I have not suffered a brain injury. When I mentioned 'brain damage', I was referring to the mental changes and deficits that I have experienced as a result of my trauma (i.e. disinhibition, long-term memory problems, difficulty retaining/processing new information, difficulty concentrating.) I did not mean to trivialise the experience of people, like yourself Dave, who have suffered brain injuries.


Helena,

I worked with people who had acquired brain injury (ABI) for a short time. I do not know a great deal about it. I do know that, it commonly (if not always) does have a significant impact upon emotional and psychological stability. Violent and aggressive behaviour is common in people with ABI. Their injuries make them more susceptible to mental health problems - I believe depression is very common.

ABI and PTSD and alcoholism and Christmas - nasty combination. Each one of these factors is probably playing its own role. You may want to do a bit of research on ABI to get a proper idea of its psychological impact.


onebravegirl,

'I need to man up'? - :rofl:

I will if you will, sister.

x

 

[somerandomguy]

You need to man up and become your own HERO.
O

How I hate this "man up" terminology. I am a man (last I checked) and also I am an incredibly weak person.

"Man up" may not be the proper terminology you're looking for here. To me, "man up" means "stop complaining and bury your pain." Is that really what you meant?

 

[ghost]

somerandomguy

"I am a man (last I checked) and also I am an incredibly weak person."

Shouldn't put yourself down like that bro. There's always plenty of people around to do it for you...

Like I can talk...:rolleyes: