Is a trauma t necessary?

[UnicornSightings]

So in looking at the profile again of the male t I went to see I noticed trauma isn’t listed at all in his bio or list of specialties. I’ve been in therapy before for 2 and a half years and wondering if anyone has had success with a t that doesn’t have a lot of experience with trauma. And maybe if there are any benefits to it maybe. Or what exactly would the limitations be? I’m not one to dissociate and I don’t have flashbacks or triggers. I mean I a trigger is something that makes you anxious I have a ton but I can deal with them. I’m basically just wondering if you guys would consider it a deal-breaker. He seems kind and started on time and listened without interruption. I’m scared of him but he’s a guy so I don’t think it’s fair to say we don’t have a connection. Maybe we will if I drop the fear and it might be good to be that nervous. I’d say things I wouldn’t ordinarily say. I’m meeting with him again at the end of the week to see what becomes of talking about nervousness and my fear of him.

 

[Freemartin]

Oh, that's a bummer.
For me, it would be a deal breaker. I wouldn't want to risk spending x amount of time building a trusting, secure enough relationship with a t who may or may not be skillful enough to handle my shit. It would be too hard to let them go and start the whole process from scratch.
If I were you, I would keep looking and trying to find a couple of more candidates. If that's an option.

The thing with the dude does sound interesting, though. The fact that there are truckloads of emotions indicates, I think, that there's a chance for some intense processing. Which is good. But I would look for that kind of stuff combined with solid training and experience in trauma therapy. Hope you'll find a good t!

 

[UnicornSightings]

Oh, that's a bummer.
For me, it would be a deal breaker. I wouldn't want to risk spending x amount o...

Thank you so much for your honest feedback!!! And I agree, the wicked strong nervousness is pretty fascinating.

 

[user27357]

I have always kind of equated therapy with learning a new language- hang with me a second, you will see what I mean!

you can do it on your own, it is the time honored method. Totally immerse yourself in a different language and you will learn to ask for a bathroom and water and food and shelter the first day. You may never learn enough to appreciate the nuances of the language like innuendo and humor.

you can buy a book and learn in a guided manner if you stick with it and really try but it has to be a good book.

you can hire a tutor and get an in-depth education that leads to total immersion and results in fluency as quickly as possible.

Why would you hire a German teacher when you want to learn Portuguese?

 

[UnicornSightings]

I have always kind of equated therapy with learning a new language- hang with me a second, you will see...

You don’t think some people are multilingual? Why let other languages be forgotten? I’m not saying you’re wrong I’m just wondering if not having someone see me as a trauma case may have benefits.

 

[Deleted member 37474]

My first T is not a trauma therapist. When I talked to her on the phone prior to meeting she seemed confident that she could help me and her type of therapy is cbt.

1. She was validating about the rape.
2. I liked her office.
3. She was empowering.
4. When I told her about paranoia in the grocery store and disassociating after watching 13 reasons why, she said she may need to change my diagnosis.
5. She ran it by the staff in her team meeting and was told that everything that was happening to me was normal and consistent with ptsd.
6. She started to get frustrated that I was not healing fast enough. I thought that the fact that I was telling her what happened was huge.
7. She kept asking me to figure out what my responsibility was in the rape and what my life lesson/purpose is. (I felt victim-blamed, and she did appologize)

The very next session she told me this was all taking too long and she recommends that I switch to the emdr therapist.

My emdr therapist is a trauma therapist. She is the best thing that ever happened to me in regards to getting better.

1. There is no pressured timeline.
2. She began with talking about how she knows that I don’t trust her yet and that is okay.
3. She has tea hidden under her couch to help ground people when needed.
4. Her office has a variety of things that are for grounding and feeling safe.
5. She allows Email between sessions. And sends helpful responses. Emails are used primarily if something triggering comes up or me needing help to stay regulated.
6. She is quick to remind me that I didn’t choose to have ptsd.
7. When I try to minimize stuff she is very assertive in telling me how serious this is and that it is real and life affecting.

Both are nice people.

 

[Deleted member 8714]

wondering if anyone has had success with a t that doesn’t have a lot of experience with trauma. ....any benefits to it maybe. ....limitations be?

When I first started working on my healing journey in earnest the year was 1988. At that time there were no Trauma Specialists.

I found someone who had worked with a client who had DID (alters). The only problem was she had zip experience with vast amount of alters. She was overwhelmed as more and more alters emerged, far beyond her expertise. She was the worst T I ever saw because she had to control every aspect of my therapy. Bad news. I believe years later that her controlling behavior was due to her lack of knowledge. The more anxious she got, the more she tried to insert her beliefs and ideas of what I had going on into the therapeutic relationship with disastrous results. I gave her the best clue right off the bat of what my abuse was about and she dragged other crap into my therapy. I'm still sorting out whether she introduced false memories into my memories because of her lack of experience. My initial guess/hunch is yes.

I eventually found a T who was learning to treat DID and ritual and satanic ritual abuse among other kinds of abuse. I stayed with him for 14 years. It was definitely a collaboration of efforts on both our parts. He was good because he allowed me to dictate the direction of therapy. I worked hard and integrated my alters and healed from the T abuse. Though at that time I didn't know about the false memories.

Fast forward to my current T who is a Trauma Specialist. On the very first day with her I learned a technique to calm myself. I was amazed. And it worked. She's going to help me sort out truth from false memory. It's going to be a long haul though. She's got 25 years experience with and specializes in cbt for trauma survivors of combat PTSD, PTSD, ritual, satanic ritual, sexual, physical, mind control, and psychological/emotional/mental abuses, of which I have all of them except combat PTSD. I feel fortunate to have found her.

 

[Suzetig]

I mean I a trigger is something that makes you anxious I have a ton but I can deal with them.

I think you're confusing a trigger for a stressor. A stressor might cause you anxiety, a trigger pitches you into a trauma response - they are very different things. There's a danger in calling everything that's remotely difficult or stressful a "trigger" which really downplays things that really are triggers.

If you're not symptomatic and you think you can work with this T I'd go for it.

 

[EveHarrington]

If you need to process trauma, a trauma therapist is a must. Non trauma therapists aren’t trained in how to do this.

It sounds like you’re not symptomatic though, so you may not need a trauma therapist.

 

[Sunshine22]

If you need to process trauma, a trauma therapist is a must. Non trauma therapists aren’t train...

Sorry if this is a lame question but what do you mean by non-symptomatic? and why does that mean someone would not need a trauma therapist?

 

[Deleted member 37474]

I also would like to know how it would be labeled as ptsd if there are no symptoms? Did you used to have symptoms, but have learned coping on your own?

 

[Mach123]

I have been with five therapists in the last 7 years or so. I was in therapy quite a bit before that as well. The first time I went I was in my twenties. The things I tried to say about CSA were overlooked by most of them. Things a trauma therapist never would have let go. It's essential in my opinion that you see a trauma therapist. The other therapists I think are a waste of time mostly if trauma/PTSD/CSA are what you are trying to deal with. : ( That has been my experience. The last non-trauma therapist I was with was a PHD psychologist. He kept telling me he could help me with it, he knew why I was there but sadly, the difference between him (the only male therapist I ever saw) and someone who just does trauma is night and day. It is very much a specialty discipline IMO.