Flashback or intrusive thoughts

[Stephernovas]

To heal from the accident I have been in treatment for massage, and now acupuncture. One of the last times I was in a massage, stressing about something else involving my trauma, and tried to take some cleansing breaths. The massage therapist started working on my left shoulder (sustained seatbelt injury) and as she was working those muscles, anxiety started to build and hyperventilation was just about imminent. I tried shaking out the anxiety in my foot (I replace releasing emotions with movement), but it was building to be too much and felt like it needed to flood out. I was able to practice a breathing technique taught by my therapist and was able to calm down. However, when I was feeling the anxiety build as she massaged, I started seeing images/flashes of the accident, and my fear seemed to build to the level it was at when the accident actually occurred.

Then, today I was getting acupuncture done, and as he was manipulating my body (prepping, marking and inserting the needles) my breathing became stressed, I started seeing those images again, and this time I got lightheaded too. I've started calling them somatic flashbacks, as it has a lot to do with my body. Some of the other prominent times I remember having having flashbacks was when I was showering and had to wash caked blood and guts out of my hair, and then another when I dropped salsa on my phone, and I panicked for a split second because I thought it was blood (my phone was covered the night of the accident).

Now, intrusive thoughts, I'm finding are when I see those nasty salt/snow balls on the streets that build on your car behind tires - they remind me of the torn and shattered car parts on the highway from the crash. As well, I took my nephews to see the Star Wars movie last night (bad idea), I got uncomfortable as I watched glass shatter and many things crash on the screen - obviously reminded me of my collision. I don't get the images often, but those are what I attribute to be as flashbacks. Sometimes they are of the smashed up vehicle, sometimes they are of the interior/what I saw when I first opened my eye post crash, or sometimes they are the moose I hit.

I've read some people seem to get startled and then flashback into diving or ducking out of the way when they have flashbacks. I guess I'm just wondering if my flashes on images may be something else?

I found this link, and think it may actually answer my question
Healing Complex Trauma & PTSD

what do you all think about the differences in symptoms (not just mine, your own too)?

 

[shimmerz]

I get this type of reaction too. A lot. I haven't read the article, I have some stuff going on right now, but did want to address this posting.

Oddly enough, I too went to acupuncturists. One in particular who was working on my right shoulder. That is when I had my very first panic attack. I had no idea at that time that these memories actually get 'stuck' in the muscles. Release the muscles and the trauma releases (or some of it anyway). So to me, and this is just my opinion, based on my experience.... if you are going to have muscles worked with in any way, then be prepared for flashbacks, reactions, etc. I wonder if your acupuncturist is trauma informed? Did they seem to handle your reactions alright? Were they aware that you are flashing when they work on you? I would be careful to regulate this within an acceptable window of tolerance.

I wish my acupuncturist had understood trauma. She did too much too fast and my life took a turn for the worst within a matter of a couple of weeks when she did the release of my frozen shoulder. I am pretty sure that the day my shoulder was officially released, was the day I told my ex that I wanted a divorce. That's how quickly adjustments to the body (especially a locked part of the body) can change one's outlook.

 

[Stephernovas]

He stayed with me until I stopped feeling lightheaded. But, I hate it cause I sit there feeling like I’m over exaggerating. I was able to manage for about 5 or so minutes and was distracted by my kinesiologist who came to check on me, but a few minutes later I was back to starting to panic and feeling lightheaded. I asked if he had anyone react this way before. He has he hadn’t had anyone get respond with this amount of anxiety before. Blahhahahahahrggg.


Sorry for my mixed up words - that’s a little bit of lingering concussion stuff, and some anxiety. I feel like I’ve been dumbed down and don’t do things good anymore (lol that one was on purpose)

 

[shimmerz]

he hadn’t had anyone get respond with this amount of anxiety before.

Okay, then I would advise you to be very careful with this type of treatment right now. Do you have a trauma therapist?

 

[Stephernovas]

My therapist is on holidays now until Jan 5. I will be able to manage u til then, just won’t bw fun.

 

[deeplyloved]

I get it. I desperately need bodywork for medical conditions, but had to stop because it was kicking up terrifying flashbacks and emotional flooding.

 

[PDH]

Im a massage therapist.
When my symptoms were really bad I stopped getting any treatment myself because of flashbacks when anyone touched me.
My body suffered so much, but I was too scared to have a treatment, get caught in a flash back and the therapist not understanding what I was going through.
As a result though, its changing my career path pretty dramatically. I'm focussing more on massage techniques that may be able to assist with regulating the nervous system, and have a real passion for supporting people in trauma recovery in a safe trauma informed way.
Silver linings I guess.

 

[Stephernovas]

that's how I feel about social work. Every time I consider going back to that line of work, it reminds me of what happened. I'm finding changing everything that was during that time (i.e. wallet - well that was covered in blood so I had to, vehicle - I tried to trade it in as I had the accident in a rental, and etc). I might be able to manage for a short time frame but as soon as I start trying to think as I would for work, suddenly I'm more distracted, forgetful, panicky and all that. I'd rather not think of the time I almost died everyday.