Maybe you need a break from pushing forward so that you can build up your energy reserves and start fresh? :hug:
I wish! Just as I calm down, my mom makes some insensitive comment that makes it seem like it is indeed it is a race and everything in me explodes in anxiety. The faster I'm out living on my own again, the better. Today she got annoyed by something I'm doing because I'm down, and she asked until when is she going to wait for me to fix this, and she was waiting for me for 2 months...As if she at all acknowledge that it was a thing until 2 weeks ago...and as if her just waiting will fix me.
Are you in therapy? Are you actively working on your trauma ? Do you write about your trauma, how it felt when it happened, how it affected you then and now? Do you tear apart every trigger to find out why it affects you the way that it does and how it may relate to your trauma???. Do you dig apart your anxiety to find out the cause of it and how you can work to find ways to cope with it? Do you use coping skills EVERYDAY???? Do you use grounding skills EVERYTIME you feel the need???
Thanks for this! I'm doing a LOT- as much as I can in the situation- but there are days in which I lose faith. Yesterday was such day, when it seems like you have been trying forever and nothing is working whatsoever. But that is why I write on here, because I don't want to give up, and in such days, I just need something to give me some perspective- which you kind of did:). To answer: I have a therapist, but I am in a different country for 2 more months. I haven't done therapy in half a year, because I can't pay for it, but when I was going it did really help. Hopefully soon I'll be back to it, but for now, I have to manage on my own.
I do regularly work on my trauma and triggers, and while that is helpful, somehow I ended up with my mom being a huge trigger and temporarily living with her too. I wish that wasn't the case and I try to ignore it, but she gets to me very easily and my whole body gets into protective mode. Still trying to get a hang on that. I use grounding skills daily here, for that reason, though I have to admit last week I haven't. I was sick and it all just went on the back burner. That and some issues with the bank and some payments and my overflowing cup went waaay beyond overflowing. I did journal today, and I was starting to feel a bit better. And then...my mom...but at least I don't feel completely helpless anymore.
I have felt the same way in the past few weeks, but someone close helped me remember that it's not a race, it's really much more of a marathon. It's okay to not be okay and take it easy for a bit before pushing again, and it's okay to take things at your own rhythm and not the one that society dictates.
Hard when you have parents that look at any depression symptom as if you're lazy. It's very much feeling like it's a race for them to see that I'm fixed and I haven't entirely lost my mind. I'm trying to use grounding and I'm just counting the days until I get home. Which will be at the end of february, so...I'll have to just get through this somehow.
