Supporter What am i supposed to do - combat vet broke up but everything still the same except living together.

[Sweetpea76]

I know it doesn't seem like it now, but life will go on. You're young, and you have a lot more love yet to come. The idea that there is one perfect love out there for you is a myth. There are many, and you'll gain something from each relationship.

You can love somebody madly, work the hardest you can to be the best partner you can be, do everything perfectly, and they can still leave you. Love is a bitch that way. He may be a great guy but he doesn't sound healthy enough to function in a relationship. In a year he has bounced back and forth many times taking your heart with him each time. Forget about his emotional well being, look what he's doing to yours.

Try and find some peace. You just stepped off a rollercoaster. You need some self care and healing now.

 

[LuckiLee]

Awe. So sorry @krisss.

You're right to consider this as a breakup. He needs time to get his sh*t together. And he needs to realize he needs to get his sh*t together.

Give him what he needs. Space. I would also hold off on calling or texting right away. It will only push him farther away.

Breakups suck. No getting around that. Take some time to grieve a bit and hang out with your friends. They love you and only want what's best for you. And this relationship was causing you too much pain.

Take care of yourself. There's a great guy out there waiting to treat you right! Best of luck and be good to yourself! XO

 

[Deleted member 44240]

I’m not going to hold on to any kind of expectation or think he’s going to come back. i have to act...

I don’t want to give you unnecessary hope, but he may surprise you. I waited for about a month before I started to send very positive emails and texts, and he wouldn’t respond. I would still send them periodically just to stay concisistant in his life however, he never once told me to stop sending emails or texts. He did share that he needed more time because he was just too upset to speak with me. I have my thoughts about this, but a friend told me to just hold on for now because I don’t know for sure what’s going on.

 

[krisss]

you guys are all right. i’m of course just hurt, i’m honestly not even sure why i’m as shocked or as surprised as i am. i don’t think is he healthy enough right now to focus on me or a relationship, he doesn’t even really realize he needs to focus on himself he can’t possibly focus on me.

you’re right about focusing on my mental being, i’ve been focusing on him and forgetting and neglecting myself. i need to self care and i’m not honestly, sure how to do it.

i’m not going to text or call him at all no matter how badly i want to. this is his bed he made, now he needs to lie in it. not only that but if i do, he doesn’t grow. neither of us do, and then we’re back to square one.

he’s also younger than me and is hitting his party stage because he never got to while he was enlisted. meanwhile i’m past that stage. he needs to grow up if he ever wants to really be with me and if not for someone else most importantly him.

i’m heartbroken but i know i’ll be okay.
ill keep coming here to find some kind of outlet for my feelings. i’ve come to hold you all close to me because of what you’ve helped me through.

 

[Snowflakes]

@krisss Although I haven’t said anything, I have been following your story. I truly understand your feeling and your pain. Everyone who has spoken to you has helped me in the past as they are helping you now. Take care of you. I offer a gentle hug if appropriate and you’ll accept it.

 

[krisss]

@krisss Although I haven’t said anything, I have been following your story. I t...

Thank you so much for the hugs, i accept and send one back. This is definitely a pain i would never wish on anyone. the confusion and everything intertwined is very difficult on me.

 

[mumstheword]

Yes ((((((Hugs)))))) from me too @krisss. I can tell you are a really lovely, kind, caring person with lots of love to give; time to give yourself some and be extra kind, considerate and gentle with yourself. You will find your way, I know it.

 

[Deleted member 44240]

Thank you so much for the hugs, i accept and send one back. This is definitely a pain i would never wish...

I wish you the very best with regaining your resiliency. I also hope that you are able to work on yourself and rebuild your life.

 

[LuckiLee]

Self care...

New hairdo
Girls night out
Watch your favorite movie
Junk food ;)
A good cry
Family time
Redecorate a room

Many many moons ago a boyfriend broke up with me. I was devastated. How can I live without him? Why couldn't I make him happy? All the usual feelings. I went out with my girls one night and naturally I didn't want to go but I did. They had me laughing hysterically all night. It didn't take long to get over it. I realized I wasn't happy either. He did me a favor. He's now quite the loser. 5 yes 5 dwi's. No career. No wife. No children. Etc. I'd take my PTSD relationship over that one any day.

My point is everyone goes through a breakup at some point and we all heal and move on. You'll be fine. You will even be a better person because of it. Everything you've learned here you can take into new relationships.

Some people give too many "second" chances. I did. Never again. If I see a red flag. I'm gone. If you lie

Oops hit post to soon. Lol

Cont.

If you lie. I'm gone. Insult me. Adios. Etc.

You're young and you've learned what you want and don't want in a relationship. This is very valuable information. Now when you're with someone you won't put up with unnecessary b.s. Trust your feelings. If something doesn't feel right. Speak your mind and trust your judgment.

Love you!

 

[krisss]

You all just made me cry again. So much kindness, understanding and help from strangers who don’t even really feel like strangers. I will still be on the site as i said! Maybe if i have a breaking point or one day where i’m not as strong as the one before. I will need you guys, and i want to be there for you all as well!!

I know that one day i’ll get the love returned to me that i keep trying to give him and everyone else. & that will be a lovely day, and a day worth fighting and waiting for.

@B.J. i hope you find your way too. remember all the advice you’ve given me and try to be gentle and take it yourself. we are stronger than we think!! we can do this no matter how hard it is right now.

it’s okay not to be okay, but it’s not okay to stay that way.

 

[krisss]

Self care...

New hairdo
Girls night out
Watch your favorite movie
Junk food ;)
A good cry
Family time...

So very true. I tend to want to isolate myself and not go out with my friends but i have to kind of break out of my own misery.
i’ve given him honestly 5+ chances and that’s my mistake. this next one (if there ever is) will not be given so lightly.

i would have worked too hard to regain my peace, to crumble all over again.

in the end, if it’s meant to be it will & if it is not, as difficult as it is to understand now, it would all have been worth it.

 

[krisss]

Oops hit post to soon. Lol

Cont.

If you lie. I'm gone. Insult me. Adios. Etc.

You're young and you'v...

Leehalf THANK YOU SO MUCH.

you’re so loved and thanked for all and everything you’ve ever said to me. i’m taking all of this to heart and along with me forever.