Small talk = entire session. anyone else do this?

[UnicornSightings]

Geez. I had stuff to say but didn’t want to say it. He knew that. So we kept it light, per my request. Then at the end I mentioned how I didn’t want to like him (and that I did) because nothing good ever comes from liking someone. And he said we will talk about that next time although I figure in 2 weeks he will forget. I asked about “Heads up” emails and I can do that that. Send him an email before session about what I want to say. I think that may be helpful because then we would both know what I want to talk about. I don’t want to waste time but I also find it so hard to talk because I think the important things I want to talk about he will think are stupid and once I open that door he won’t like me anymore. He will hate me like my last t. And he knows that I think that as well. Ugh. I’m really glad I have 2 weeks before I go back. I can focus on school and not that.

 

[littleoc]

I have have done this before. Although usually after a small amount of time, my therapist asks me a direct question, small talk can be functional. It allows time to get confortable talking, it allows for control (for the patient), it allows the therapist to get to see a little shred of how your mind works/what your life is like in a noninvasive way, and so on.

I try not to consider it a waste, and eventually I do try to tackle the issues at hand. For me, small talk is one way of avoidance. I doubt I'm alone in that.

I hope that helps

 

[UnicornSightings]

I have have done this before. Although usually after a small amount of time, my therapist asks me a di...

Thanks. It does. I, too, think it can be useful. Definitely for establishing comfort. I guess I just think of all the wasted time. Like 2 and a half years with my last t, do you have any idea how much time I spent not talking about important things?! But I guess if I can make it a point to say at least one thing that’s more than small talk than that’s something. And I did that. So I’ll try to just be proud of that.

 

[Stephernovas]

That's called avoidance.

 

[UnicornSightings]

That's called avoidance.

Oh hell yeah it is. And he knew I was avoiding something from the beginning cause I said so. I guess I just wanted to know if other people did it as much.

 

[Stephernovas]

In that case, yes.

 

[scout86]

That's called avoidance.

Sometimes it's called "building trust". It can be kind of hard to find the balance between "too much" and "not enough". My T seems to think there's less harm, when in doubt, to err on the side of not pushing things. So, yeah, I've had quite a few sessions where the conversation was on pretty neutral topics.

 

[WishfulThinking123]

I really trust my T...been seeing her for years and yet...still do this quite frequently. I have a hard time sharing even though I do trust her... I feel bad and dont want to burden her with depressing shit...

 

[Surfergal]

I do this too. Always the start of sessions but recently I spent a session or two mainly talking about what I would call small talk. It bothered me as I felt like the clock and money signs were ticking with each sentence I spoke but I couldn't seem to get off the train. I was trying to think of more significant things to talk about but my mind just couldn't think of anything

 

[Stephernovas]

Sometimes it's called "building trust". It can be kind of hard to find the balance between "too much" a...

yeah usually rapport is built when you first start working with a client..my response was for someone who has been seeing their therapist for a while..

 

[UnicornSightings]

I’ve seen him 6 times so far so we are still in that “getting comfortable with each other” stage but I do have to move on to actual stuff I struggle with. I just know once I open that door I’ll be flooded with thoughts of him hating me. Which is just exhausting.

 

[MyWillow]

My T uses small talk to ground me either side of what we really need to talk about. I dissociate at the drop of a hat and it doesn’t take much at all to roundhouse kick me into a flashback. So it’s like exposure therapy I guess. And I leave the session in much better shape this way.