Is this normal?

[Suzetig]

No I saw her for six months then quit. Just went back this is my first two since I've been back

What did you expect her to do with your husband present? She couldn't talk about anything you brought in the previous sessions without risking breaching your confidentiality - how would she know what he did or didn't already know, or what you were ok talking about with him there.

I think she's handled it as well as anyone could but you really need to start going back on your own and resetting boundaries in the therapy and in your marriage.

And if you feel he "doesn't get it" chances are sitting in your therapy sessions won't change that, but it will fundamentally change your therapy.

 

[Gs172003]

@Friday I'm easy to intimidate. That's something I really need to work on.

...
What did you expect her to do with your husband present? She couldn't talk about anything y...

I'll be going after work soon without him. I guess if he's not there she has no choice but just deal with me. I also need to stop being afraid of her. Not sure why I am but I am.

Now I'm embarrassed. Sorry yall

 

[Suzetig]

With the greatest of respect it sounds like you're not engaged in your own therapy. It's your choice to have him in the room, your choice to have him engage in your sessions, your choice to book a session when you did, your choice to see someone who is so intimidating you won't say "no", your choice not to challenge the focus of your session when it drifts.

She shouldn't have a choice not to engage with you, it's your session. I wonder if him being there allows you to avoid doing the work. I'm not saying it's a conscious choice but it's possible you're setting things up in a way that lets you off the hook while giving scope to blame her.

 

[Gs172003]

With the greatest of respect it sounds like you're not engaged in your own therapy. It's your choice to...

I thought about that after I said it. Maybe it's just my avoiding the whole thing.

God I'm rediculous.

 

[Deleted member 37474]

@Zoogal, you have no reason to be embarrassed. Some marriages are very “open book” and that may be what you have. Wanting your husband there or not minding his presence seems reasonable. Not all people approach therapy in the same way.

If your T was pressuring you to schedule, it may be because she “knows you.” Your avoidance, your ability to run away. My T has been firm with me on stuff, but she always ends with, “but remember, you always get the biggest vote.”

Maybe your T was asking your h about him so that when you do meet alone, she can help you on how to talk to him about your trauma issues when you need to.

I am not disagreeing with other people’s posts either. I do feel that stuff got a little weird in your sessions if you are there for trauma therapy, but things happen. We are all human.

 

[Gs172003]

Thanks @texascat. For some reason I now feel like complete crap. I'll come back to this later. Sorry y'all.

Ugh @TexCat

 

[EveHarrington]

WTF?

You choose when you go back! Not her!

My therapist was on my back about canceling when I wasn’t feeling up to therapy. She said I needed to come in because I was feeling bad. I just smiled and nodded. I know when I can handle therapy and when I can’t. She seems to have forgotten that therapy makes me dissociate. Seriously, I’m not listening to her as I know when I need to go in and when I need to take a break.

Remember, you drive this train, not her!

 

[Gs172003]

Ok so I told her I'm going to go ahead and wait until I go back to work to continue and asked for her to put me down for the 1st. I also let my husband know that I will be going by myself once I go back. I feel better about it but I'm afraid of what she's going to say. Why am I afraid of her?

 

[UnicornSightings]

Ok so I told her I'm going to go ahead and wait until I go back to work to continue and asked for her to...

I was really afraid of my first t. Transference. That was awful.

 

[Deleted member 541]

Your husband needs to stay home or in the waiting room. This is YOUR therapy session, not a marriage session. I don’t understand why you’re confused when you started this???!?!? ?

 

[UnicornSightings]

Your husband needs to stay home or in the waiting room. This is YOUR therapy session, not a marriage ses...

You could be way less harsh to the op. She’s said she feels intimated and has that issue. How would you like to be spoken to like that?

 

[Gs172003]

You could be way less harsh to the op. She’s said she feels intimated and has that issue. Ho...

I didn't see what you're talking about.