Having a very hard time with restraint

[Deleted member 541]

As the title says.... I’m really struggling right now with restraint. There is someone that I want to tell of more than anything, yet, I find that the timing isn’t right.

This person is a bully, a big mouth and has little or no feeling for others. I usually have no problem with this, but then there are mitigating circumstances too.

I can’t divulge anything, and I’m sorry for being so vague. Just very frustrated right now and need advice on how to hold my tongue!!!!

You are asked to *pay* for this site, yet you're opinion is not asked about the changes to come. Your opinion isn’t asked about the options that are being taken away, you are TOLD.


Your voices are being silenced by the authoritarian that calls himself the OWNER, yet again, the members PAY for the site.


Yes, my voiced will be silenced by my imminent banning, but it was MY CHOICE.......


This is for *Rain* and those before her and those to come....

 

[LuckiLee]

Why stoop to their level?

I work with someone who enjoys upsetting people. I've seen him smile after making someone mad or upset.
He's suckered me in a time or two and I've always regretted it. Now, I ignore and avoid him.

On the other hand sometimes you have to defend yourself to bullies. Good luck!

 

[Justmehere]

Boundary setting might be more effective in reaching your goals than telling someone off.

 

[Supervixn]

I'd need more info i guess.... Sometimes people got to be told. I feel you're aware it's either not appropriate or not beneficial to do so. Just wondering what the factors are...

 

[Deleted member 33052]

I don't understand the mind of a troll, but I think that no reaction is the most devastating response you can offer. At least until you're ready to do some serious damage. :tup:

 

[Deleted member 34328]

Sorry I'm a day or so late @She Cat

This thread strikes a chord with me.

Just a recent personal issue...don't know if it'll help anything or not.

My daughter faced a similar situation at school this year. She was faced with a developing sexual predator. At first he was stalking her around, looking for reasons to speak to her... began to escalate. My husband and I began to get involved along with a few others.

The end result was that things got turned around, words were used against her and the school labelled her and several others bullies and he became the victim.

She did use her voice and it was only used against her. She felt defeated and now a forever victim. How is that fair? It's not!

When something needs to be said or addressed, even though words may be twisted and used against you in the end, it may be that you aren't the only one struggling with the same problem. In our case, there were other girls suffering in silence. They were encouraged to come forward once she did. They're all in the same boat now, but it might only take one tongue to get the ball rolling and send the message. - others may feel braver to come forward if they too are feeling bullied or similar as you are in your particular scenario.

Taking a stand and calling this person out may be the best option, although I do hear what you're saying. It is a hard position to be in.

When or how is a very difficult juggling act.

 

[Mee]

I hope you are ok

This is a thing I am considering a lot in therapy and over my past... Hmm year.

Restraint v bystanding. It's situation dependent Imo. If you are identifying it as a boundary issue then good for you .

 

[blackemerald1]

Depends how serious it is @She Cat - if it is irritating but not damaging and you just have to let it out somehow...maybe write it down then tear it to shreds... very therapeutic.

 

[Deleted member 34328]

How's your restraint holding up @She Cat ?

 

[anthony]

Your voices are being silenced by the authoritarian that calls himself the OWNER, yet again, the members PAY for the site.

That would be me I guess? Yep, you are banned from here because of you spam protest. Enjoy elsewhere and best of luck to you. Closed.