I think he is trying to push me to suicide.

[DarkOne35]

I think my husband is trying to push me to suicide. My husband knows about my diagnosis, he knows the details of my diagnosis, and even though he does not know what it feels like to be me for a day, he KNOWS that I am sick, yet he continues to leave the responsibility of our five children on me for extended periods of time. I am talking hours and hours on end, and when I plead for him to be home more so he can help me with the kids, because I am getting inadequate amounts of sleep, my sleep patterns are off, he's really been treating me like crap.... I mean, at times he leaves the house and he is out all day long and I have to deal with the responsibility of the children. I am burned out, and I am so damn close to calling it quits altogether. I am literally drowning here. When he is finally home, and I try and get a break by tuning everyone out and taking a mental vacation, he gets upset, starts verbally abusing me and then walks out of the house and leaves me here by myself with the kids after complaining about having to lift a finger to deal with the kids, but he is NEVER home.


I'm TIRED.... I want to tell someone so badly, but it's like... I feel like no one cares enough to step in and tell him to stay his ass home, and help me with the children.

 

[joeylittle]

I think my husband is trying to push me to suicide.

This is a pretty extreme statement. Are you catastrophizing?

at times he leaves the house and he is out all day long and I have to deal with the responsibility of the children. I am burned out, and I am so damn close to calling it quits altogether. I am literally drowning here.

I think you've got two different issues - related, but different.

One, the children need to be safe and cared for. It's understandable that you are struggling, and you've asked your husband for help. He's not providing the help, but you still need and deserve the help. Instead of getting deeper into this tug of war with your husband, which will stretch your inner resources even more - is there another family member who could come?

If not, can you hire part-time help? If your kids are in school, perhaps someone could do the mornings and get them there, or alternatively, do the after-school pickups and mind them til dinner - something to give you a break.

If that's not an option, you need to consider calling Social Services and see what might be possible, there. I'd encourage you to look at the hiring-babysitter/nanny option, first; even if you aren't sure you can afford it in the long term, just two weeks of help might help you get your bearings again.

Two, you and your husband have a communication gap. What does the verbal abuse consist of?

It doesn't sound like the issues with your husband are going to be worked out in time to deal with the crisis it sounds like you are in, so I'd encourage you to take care of the kids first.

 

[DarkOne35]

This is a pretty extreme statement. Are you catastrophizing?

I think you've got two different issu...

Lol Social services is the cause of my PTSD. Social services is not an option. I will look into other options.

 

[joeylittle]

Social services is not an option.

How about getting part-time child care? I know money doesn't grow on trees, but even a few days might give you a chance to recoup.