Relationship Do they come back after long isolation period?

[JimW]

My S.O. had to isolate herself from me because I was inadvertently reminding her of her past. It's been over a month and still have not heard from her. When or will she ever come back? I sent her an email a few days ago simply stating she was an amazing person, I'm in it for the long haul with her and that I was still here for her and didn't get a response.

Is it time to cut the cord or do I need to wait things out longer? First time I have gone through this with her.

Thanks all for any advice

 

[Freida]

When or will she ever come back?

That's the big question that all supporters have - and the answer is.... Maybe.

Sometimes we come back, sometimes we don't. There is no way to answer this because WE don't know - not until the isolation is over. When I'm isolating I forget that my supporters exist. I kind of know they are around, but I don't really. So mine reach out every couple days via text or facebook and they know I may or may not respond.

Isolation isn't about relationships, and has little to do with supporters. It's all about what's going on in our heads.
But -- her saying YOU are the trigger is concerning - hopefully she is in therapy and can work on that. If she's not - she won't get better. PTSD needs professional help.

I wish I could give you more specifics or encouragement but it doesn't work that way. There's lots of conversations on the site about this. Especially on the supporters threads.

 

[Sighs]

Is it time to cut the cord or do I need to wait things out longer?

This is up to you. Its your decision how long your "partner" can vanish for before you call it a day. Personally, over a month with NO contact? As far as I am concerned it would be over for me.

 

[Sweetpea76]

You didn't remind her... she was reminded. It's not your fault. Don't hold yourself responsible for the stuff going on in her head.

 

[anon1234]

Well, two months once passed before the isolation ended for me. Unfortunately, the pattern can repeat itself once it has started. I haven't had a two month bout again but 2-3 weeks of isolation is something that has happened a few more times.

The best thing to do is to focus on yourself, your self care and happiness, and if then you'll be in a good place to support her if she does break isolation. Some people here talk about making boundaries for the amount of time that you think is acceptable for isolation. Someone above mentioned a month limit. For me, I am involved with someone who often has no concept of time when they are symptomatic. So, each case is different. The best thing you can do right now if focus on you. You are also allowed to have feelings in this relationship.

Hope all goes well for you. Sorry you are going through this. I know how difficult and painful it is.

 

[JimW]

It's the toughest thing ever... Not knowing if she will come back or not. Of course, the second I mentally move on is when she would probably come back and I guess that's what I am scared of. We were an extremely happy couple and before she isolated I was told I was an amazing guy for her but one thing (her triggers) overcomes it all. I'm at the point where I am just living my life and preparing myself to move on to the next phase.