Struggling with the knowledge that i’m not unique

[Cactus Bloom]

Hi! I’m not unique and it hurts that I’m not. I want to claim anything, something that is mine alone that I don’t share the same as someone else. It doesn’t matter what it is, someone else says “Me too! I do that too!” and it is not comforting to me at all. I feel more worthless and depressed not better because I’m not alone. I feel more alone if that’s even possible. Does anyone else feel this way?

 

[somerandomguy]

But you are unique.

Your personal DNA has never existed before in the history of the universe and will never exist again once you are gone. Your brain patterns - your likes, preferences, needs, knowledge, personality - all of that is absolutely unique to you. Your appearance as well is completely one-of-a-kind and has never been and will never be exactly duplicated.

The "you" you are is absolutely you and you alone.

 

[Mee]

You are unique!


If you think of venn diagrams you are going to cross over in list of places with some people but ONLY you ate going to have your combination of experience, personality, skills in exactly YOUR way!

Ok my but about you said, I am in a different situation. My trigger incident is not so unusual but not simple. I am always looking for people in same circumstance.

 

[Justmehere]

I want to claim anything, something that is mine alone that I don’t share the same as someone else.

Is this about defining you as a person that is separate from others?

I find that I actually feel the opposite - too unique. But I have had a fear of who I am being obliterated by enmeshment. Invaded. The same until there is nothing that is mine and just mine.

 

[Friday]

That particular label? Nope. But do I have core beliefs that lead me to label myself, have black and white thinking about those labels / what they mean, and disqualify any positive that might poke holes in my reasoning? Damn straight.

10 primary cognitive distortions (negative thinking styles)

9. Labeling and mislabeling -- This is an extreme form of overgeneralization. Instead of describing your error, you attach a negative label to yourself

2. Over-generalization -- You see a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.

1. All or nothing thinking -- You see things in black and white categories. If your performance falls short of perfect, you see yourself as a total failure.

4. Disqualifying the positive -- You reject positive experiences by insisting they "don't count" for some reason or other. In this way you can maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your everyday experiences.

^^^
There are detailed explanations, in addition to these quick blurbs, on the page itself.

There are ALSO some really badass articles (a series of 3, I think? ) on combating negative thinking styles / dealing with core beliefs and cognitive distortions ...that aren’t up right at the moment as the site is being prepared for upgrade. :facepalm: Keep an eye out for them, though, they’re crazy useful.

 

[Cactus Bloom]

Is this about defining you as a person that is separate from others?

I find that I actually feel t...

Yes, me being separate from others as a person. I think it’s because I’m so disconnected from a sense of self and always have been that maybe having any kind of connection to anyone else, no matter what it is, just does something. It’s probably just being ignored as a kid that has carried over to some extent.

 

[Mee]

Does it help to be told your voice here is very clearly ’yours’ and identifiable as ’fionas74’?

 

[Cactus Bloom]

That particular label? Nope. But do I have core beliefs that lead me to label myself, have black and whi...

Thank you for this! I read all of those and I’ve had many of those distortions when I was younger but not so much now. Like previous to being raped when I was 16 I struggled with most of them but then I wasn’t bothered by a majority of them and gradually it doesn’t happen very often. For instance I never experienced fear of any kind for 17 years but the only fear I have pop into my mind every once in awhile is that of one of my kitties dying or me not being able to protect them. I literally do not fear anything or think of anything bad happening (except kitties). I don’t dwell on negativity. I don’t feel shame about anything or guilt because I haven’t done anything wrong. I see the positive in my life and know I’ve always been extremely lucky to have had what I have. I have no hate or anger for anyone including myself. It’s a recent thing of the feeling worthless that I haven’t had for many years as of maybe a couple weeks. I don’t live in the past (consciously) or the future and maybe not the present. I’m never the same person and don’t experience emotions related to anything. Of course I will every once in awhile start crying for no reason but doesn’t happen often. I know I have DID and why it’s like this but now...well, crap. Why did I even write this! Yikes!!!!

Does it help to be told your voice here is very clearly ’yours’ and identifiable as ’fionas74’?[/QU...

I just wrote a comment and I think I’m a complete fraud. I’m so confused!

 

[Mytime]

You are unique.
-Your unique in how you feel
- Your unique in how you see the world around you.
- Your unique in how you handle life experiences.
- Your unique in how you love others around you.
-Your unique in how you support others here.
-Your unique in your sense of humour.
-Your unique in your kindness
-Your unique in being the person you are. That person is beautiful inside and out.

 

[shimmerz]

Do you need to not be unique because it is a way of singling you out?

 

[Cactus Bloom]

You are unique.
-Your unique in how you feel
- Your unique in how you see the world around you.
- Your...

Thank you for saying this:) I guess I just need to hear it. I appreciate you:)

 

[Mytime]

Right back at ya :hug: