@PTSD spouse I’m sorry to say that there is nothing you can do or say that will convince him of your fidelity, honesty, and love when his trust issues flair up due to C-PTSD.
My sufferer accused me of sleeping with the women at work so I quit my job. I was then accused of sleeping with the waitress at a restaurant because I was pleasant and smiled when she brought our food.
We went to couples counseling till the psychologist recognized my sufferers words and actions were not only trust issues based on only anxiety but C-PTSD based on severe childhood trauma and subsequent domestic abuse. I knew of this childhood trauma but never believed my sufferer would turn on me. The psychologist told me that trying to defend myself or otherwise engage in debate during these accusations would make things worse in my sufferers head because she would then believe I was lying.
My hope is that your husband goes to therapy. It is absolutely important because, as I have already said, the only one who can help him manage is himself with good therapy.
You asked for suggestions. Again, read all our stories to see how we cope. You’ll need to set good boundaries for yourself on what behaviors you will not accept and enforce those boundaries with consequences. You should not have to walk on eggshells nor should you have to put your emotions in a box just to protect his feelings. You have the right to have friends and give them a hug if that’s your personality.
You haven’t said, so I’ll ask....Is your husband in therapy to help him manage his anxiety due to PTSD? If not, you might tell him that his behavior towards you is upsetting you and what he plans to do about it. If he rejects your feelings then you’re in for a rough ride. I’ve been there. It took me understanding when my sufferer was symptomatic and giving her time and space when she was, it took me setting boundaries for myself and enforcing them when necessary.
