General Did you know? a lot of military veterans do not like fireworks!

[Deleted member 487]

If I know they're going off, no problem. No warning, big problem. I was at a college function and they were setting off fireworks. The aerial displays were nice. Until they did those with report only (just going "boom", no color display). I found myself leaving in a hurry, I was in tears, and I nearly ended up in the bushes hiding. It was horrible.

 

[blackemerald1]

No sorry - I hate fireworks. I have been hit by a rocket and badly injured.

I think the morons that set off fireworks for days before and after NYE and other designated firework days need to understand that not everyone loves them. My chickens, horses, dogs and wildlife etc., all went feral when they were used. There are endless problems with people trying to keep domesticated animals safe every single time they are used. Retrieving animals that become lost after trying to escape the noise is terrifying for both the owners and the animals. The list goes on.


I don't understand them and I never have. I don't get why they are such a big thing honestly.

Unfortunately there is nowhere for us to go to get away from the dam things on the designated night and little thought is given to the effects on people and animals. So ppl like me get no say...nor do the animals. How correct is that?

When I got hit I was not at a place where fireworks were expected, approved or even imagined.

So I might be politically incorrect but that's my 2 cents worth about them.:cool:

 

[Virtues]

@blackemerald1 I can understand your distaste for fireworks, I really can, and I don't think you're being politically incorrect by sharing your opinion. All that said, let me put a spin on it. One of my traumas was watching the brutal murder of my girl friend when I was 18 years old. She was stabbed to death and bled out in my arms. Now, knives are considerably more dangerous than fireworks (or at least equally as dangerous, because I'm not looking to debate this statement); I feel very uncomfortable in certain situations when a knife comes out (I'm sure you can imagine): when one comes out and people are horsing around with it, when someone I don't know is in close proximity to me using one, when I see two people getting in a heated argument and notice one of them is carrying a knife, even when my kids are using a knife to prepare dinner, etc... My point is this makes me very uncomfortable, triggers my PTSD, and puts me in a place I don't like to be. Yet how silly would it be if I started a campaign to ban the use of knives (in a free country none the less)? It would be absolutely insane for me to expect others to conform to my illness, for the world to revolve around me, for the U.S.A. to accommodate my disability and insecurities. That is no different with fireworks. So many people don't like them and expect others not to use them to cater to them. This is a free country; I fought to defend the freedoms we have. What I didn't do was put my life on the line and sacrifice my time away from my wife and watching my children grow up, so I could come home and start imposing my will upon others. In short whether you like them or not they are here, they've been a part of our Nation's celebrations since the inception of this great country. For anyone to expect them to go away on their own account is a very selfish way of thinking. While it's true that there's nothing you can do to calm your animals down during these celebratory occasions, there is something you can do to get past your fear of fireworks. It's called prolonged exposure. I wasn't always able to hang in there for fireworks. After I first came home from Iraq being around fireworks put me in a really dark place (even if I was expecting them). They didn't so much scare me as much as they pigeon holed my mind into a cluster of memories revolving around the war. I longed to be back with my boots in the sand, I dwelled on mistakes I made over there, & I reflected on who I became (and how much I didn't like that person) since I returned. However, I never thought I was in any real danger (if I knew they were coming). So what did I do to get past these feelings? "I" worked on it. Through prolonged exposure and challenging these thoughts I was having, I went from never taking part in a celebration to now I take my kids to Disney to watch the fireworks there. My point is it can be done. Pushing it off on someone else is the cowards way out. My point is to take responsibility for your triggers and work on them, don't expect the world to change for you. That is a victim mentality. What's even worse are the vet/fireworks signs. That is such a victimizing tool; not only does it ask for conformity from your neighborhood which is bad enough, but it does it in a manner where it takes the vets voice away. Not only am I a victim, but I'm not even able to voice my concerns; all I can do is put a sign at the end of my driveway and go inside. Talk about putting yourself in a "helpless" role. I communicate with my neighbors; I have a voice. My neighbor two doors down texted my wife last night to let us know they were about to light off fireworks, not because we asked them to, but out of respect. They know I'm a PTSD sufferer, but had no idea whether or not fireworks bothered me or not; they just wanted to make sure I was prepared for their display. This is the reaction you get from people if you communicate with them on a regular basis. People are way more courteous than the news or social media gives them credit for. I guess my whole point to this very long rant is to get outside of yourself. Experience the world with your hands, and you will find that the world is not what it is on your computer screen. Don't get me wrong the world is a dangerous place, but on the edge of your comfort zone you will find harmony.

 

[blackemerald1]

this makes me very uncomfortable, triggers my PTSD, and puts me in a place I don't like to be.

I too feel triggered. Not just because of my own injuries but mopping up others who have been injured not just from fireworks but almost every other abhorrent human behaviour...

Yet how silly would it be if I started a campaign to ban the use of knives (in a free country none the less)? It would be absolutely insane for me to expect others to conform to my illness, for the world to revolve around me,

I have no campaign going. It is just my personal opinion in respect of fireworks. I think they are an unnecessary and cheap thrill but other's are entitled to play with them if they choose to do so. I didn't suggest otherwise.

Yes it would be insane of me or anyone to expect the world to accommodate my disabilities and illness. You are correct and I agree. I still don't have to agree with fireworks or guns, knives or any type of weapon in the social, civilian setting.

My neighbours don't know I have ptsd and I don't feel the need to tell them. That leaves them blissfully ignorant of what may or may not trigger me. My triggers are my responsibility - not theirs. I own this. And I expect them to live well rounded lives and not see into the history I hold in my head. I was paid to do what I did and have done. Fair deal...imo. I don't cast my net wide for sympathy or negotiated living arrangements. I keep silent as I assume you do.

get outside of yourself. Experience the world with your hands, and you will find that the world is not what it is on your computer screen.

I have already..many, many years of experience outside of myself in the real and always dangerous world which was my occupation.
I agree the world isn't inside my computer screen. I don't know why you assumed it was. But it doesn't worry me. My world is my lived experience. It's out there and I have spent the best years of my life out there. Blood, sweat, tears and guts. Thank you.

Don't get me wrong the world is a dangerous place, but on the edge of your comfort zone you will find harmony.

I know it's a dangerous place. I have lived it first hand. Your boots might have been in another country. Mine were within my own. And it was prolonged exposure that brought me ptsd. So, I try for prolonged exposure to peace now because I do well with that.

I do seek harmony for myself now and sometimes I find it. It may look different from yours but we are all different.

Thank you @Florian7051 for your perspective. I respect your opinion.

 

[Never_falter2]

@Florian7051 I do not agree that this is the cowards way out... and actually I totally do not agree with using the word coward so much. I think it should be reserved to people whose lack of braveness has negative consequences for others.

I do not agree with what you say about victim mentality. I think for some people it is difficult to talk about stuff and in this case the sign might be helpful, might help them to start talking.

I am not sure why I remember that now but years ago I saw an add from a company selling medication against vaginal yeast infection (or something similar) and it said something like „If you think you might suffer from yeast infection cut this add out and show it to your doctor“. So why do I mention this now? Because it is difficult for some people to speak up and... dunno... maybe such a sign helps them find their voice.

 

[Virtues]

people whose lack of braveness has negative consequences for others.

Is that not exactly what I said? People who lack the fortitude to make any attempt to rehabilitate themselves and instead push the responsibilty of managing their symptoms off onto someone else... in short people whose lack of braveness has negative consequences for others...

 

[Never_falter2]

That is not what I call negative consequences. Let me give an example of what I call negative consequences: Three young strong men walk the street while they see how an old lady is being mugged by a teenager. The would be able to help but they choose not to. I would say that they are cowards (at least at this moment) cause they could have helped but chose not to.

But let’s say I had a neighbor let‘s call him Jim and he has combat ptsd and does not like fireworks and at New Year’s Eve he puts this sign in his yard. Well, we are not going to light fireworks cause hubby hates them... but lets say that was not the case... in this case I would be happy to know how i can help cause I like helping other people. I can still chose to have a firework nevertheless.

I am always happy if people communicate what is going on inside their minds. I personally would say that I am more happy if my vet does not try to manage everything himself... cause people work better as a team and I found it helpful when he told me about a trigger... cause then I can help.

 

[Virtues]

I can't say I deliberately aim not to offend, but I don't go out of my way to piss people off either... I'm rather in the middle on the subject; I'm blunt and speak my mind. I don't have time for inefficiencies or time to worry about how others emotions will be affected by what's in my head. Everything I do, I do with the intent on helping other people, but sometimes to make an omelet you need to break some eggs.

I guess this needs to be a question rather than a statement... did we cross? I get the overwhelming feeling that this thread has upset you.

 

[Never_falter2]

Sorry, what, offended? No, why do you come up with an idea like this.
I just wanted to say I totally disagree with your idea of persons who have such a sign in their yard being cowards. I think such signs are helpful. Sorry, English is not my native language and sometimes I think I get things wrong or explain things wrong.

 

[Virtues]

I wasn't assuming anything... that's why I asked...

 

[Never_falter2]

Err, offended is the wrong word... I was a bit like: Did you just call my vet a coward (well, we have no sign in our yard, does not exist where we live but I do believe it would be helpful for him if they did exist over here. He might disagree)... and personally I do believe it is a good thing Americans are more open about this kind of things and do more to assist their vets.

 

[EveHarrington]

@blackemerald1 I can understand your distaste for fireworks, I really can, and I...

Eh. No. Not quite.

I have ZERO trauma related to gunfire, combat, or anything that goes “boom”.

Fireworks are upwards of tens and tens and tens of thousands of startles within a very short period of time.

I really wish the gunfire analogy wasn’t so strong because it’s not just about fireworks sounding like ones trauma. Exaggerated startle response is found in every kind of ptsd trauma.

I’m other words, my neurological system is very damaged. The nervous system is VERY slow to heal, if it heals at all. I can’t “exposure” my way through this one. A damaged nervous system does not heal in this way. Meds help regulate my nerve impulses, and that’s the best I can do given a very damaged nervous system.

It’s not about going to therapy and mentally working through it via exposure. This is physical damage to the body that results in hypersensitivity. It’s not a mental ptsd trigger to me.