Tactile flashbacks? Body memory?

[brokenpony]

Yes, sometimes flashbacks are just one sense, sometimes they are just emotional. They needn’t involve all senses. There are a variety of different ways that people can experience a flashback.

thanks. i didn’t realize that it can be partial like this because that’s not how it was described to me, i thought you literally had to feel back in time.

 

[EveHarrington]

....but you are feeling “back in time” in that those sensations happened in the past during your trauma, right?

I have never felt that I was 100% reliving the trauma and in the past. I suppose you could say I had one foot grounded in the present as my other senses would tell me I’m in the present, even if one/a few were experiencing the past. I hope this makes sense!

 

[brokenpony]

....but you are feeling “back in time” in that those sensations happened in the past during your trauma, right?

I have never felt that I was 100% reliving the trauma and in the past. I suppose you could say I had one foot grounded in the present as my other senses would tell me I’m in the present, even if one/a few were experiencing the past. I hope this makes sense!

yes i think this is a helpful way to think about it. i felt emotionally and physically there but my conscious brain and sight were in my room. i think i will use the straddling metaphor to tell my therapist about it because it’s such a weird thing to describe. thanks.

 

[Freida]

I had this conversation about a week ago with both of my Ts oddly enough.
I have the visual/body/audio crap going on a lot right now but I'm aware that I am in the present so it doesn't match the "right" definition of a flashback.
T1 said it is an extreme intrusive memory because I know where I am so not a flashback
T2 said it was a flashback that kept a connection to the here and now, so yes a flashback.
They both agreed the "name" didn't make a difference, it was the experience that we needed to work on and I needed to stop trying to analyze it -- which I have a tendency to do as a distraction :laugh:

 

[brokenpony]

I had this conversation about a week ago with both of my Ts oddly enough.
I have the visual/body/audio crap going on a lot right now but I'm aware that I am in the present so it doesn't match the "right" definition of a flashback.
T1 said it is an extreme intrusive memory because I know where I am so not a flashback
T2 said it was a flashback that kept a connection to the here and now, so yes a flashback.
They both agreed the "name" didn't make a difference, it was the experience that we needed to work on and I needed to stop trying to analyze it -- which I have a tendency to do as a distraction :laugh:

it’s so weird. i’m similar in that i want to understand. i do get their point that it doesn’t matter. i can see t1’s take but at the same time i feel like it’s a flashback when a hallucination is involved. the hallucination is really scary and distressing in a different way than a very vivid memory, which you only watch in your head. feeling the sensation of being raped has been very different for me than an intrusive memory i am “watching.” since it’s a partial reliving of the memory and it literally hurts the same. not with the same intensity of pain but still uncomfortable enough to keep me awake.

 

[Freida]

Ahhh Ok - so maybe this helps.... It's not a hallucination. A hallucination is something that never happened. It is a delusion caused by a type of mental illness
A flashback is a body/emotion/brain memory that DID happen. You are actually remembering a memory of an event. It may be a full memory or just bits and pieces in different parts of your body. But it's based in reality

How can your T know the difference? It has to do with how the body reacts. I know I'll do a horrible job of trying to explain that so ask your T. Or check out The Body Keeps the Score -- great book on what your body is feeling while your brain is confused.

Watching from inside your head is normal. Watching from outside your head is a dissociation (thats what I do). My T says that we have to get me to a point where I can see it from outside my head thru my own eyes - if that makes sense :)

I also have the "one foot in both realities" thing that @EveHarrington was talking about. I guess that is pretty unusual - so welcome to the club! :hug:

 

[IceQueencop]

My understanding of PTSD is that it starts because the brain is focused on survival and sort of filtering stuff out. In training, we’re told that in a life or death situation we should expect auditory exclusion and tunnel vision. In those survival moments, your brain is still taking in everything, it’s just not processing it. We get flashbacks and brain fog because the brain is trying to process all that stuff that it filtered out during the trauma when the brain was focused on survival.
So, in a very real sense the brain is still working through the trauma even though you are in the present moment.

 

[brokenpony]

Ahhh Ok - so maybe this helps.... It's not a hallucination. A hallucination is something that never happened. It is a delusion caused by a type of mental illness
A flashback is a body/emotion/brain memory that DID happen. You are actually remembering a memory of an event. It may be a full memory or just bits and pieces in different parts of your body. But it's based in reality

How can your T know the difference? It has to do with how the body reacts. I know I'll do a horrible job of trying to explain that so ask your T. Or check out The Body Keeps the Score -- great book on what your body is feeling while your brain is confused.

Watching from inside your head is normal. Watching from outside your head is a dissociation (thats what I do). My T says that we have to get me to a point where I can see it from outside my head thru my own eyes - if that makes sense :)

I also have the "one foot in both realities" thing that @EveHarrington was talking about. I guess that is pretty unusual - so welcome to the club! :hug:

yeah i guess what i mean by hallucination is that there are sensory and emotional elements that make you feel “back there” even if you know they are not because you can see clearly where you are. which is different than watching the rape in your head. i hope my therapist understands what i mean. and i will check out that book!

My understanding of PTSD is that it starts because the brain is focused on survival and sort of filtering stuff out. In training, we’re told that in a life or death situation we should expect auditory exclusion and tunnel vision. In those survival moments, your brain is still taking in everything, it’s just not processing it. We get flashbacks and brain fog because the brain is trying to process all that stuff that it filtered out during the trauma when the brain was focused on survival.
So, in a very real sense the brain is still working through the trauma even though you are in the present moment.

yes my whole existence feels like brain fog sometimes. i feel so lost. like i am nowhere and nothing. thanks this explanation makes a lot of sense.