Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

[littleoc]

Figured out why I am still so annoyed by my twin brother saying his wife had a father “even more evil than ours” like it was a reason to respect and like her.

Because of Brandi being so excited my dad being insane. Telling everyone that my past “was even worse than hers” like it was a point of reason to like and respect me.

Well, it’s not a reason to like anyone. Everyone else was calling me brave and were impressed with me getting far and dealing with things. Not Brandi. In fact, she regularly called me insane for having emotions not linked to H or other imaginary people. And she told teachers I was “PMSing” instead of that my dad had literally kept me home and I was depressed and in danger. I guess it wasn’t entertaining for me to survive?

And when I DID get my dad removed, she took credit for it. Insane piece of shit.

I didn’t even contradict her. I have no idea why.

That’s probably why I was confused when my therapist said that when she met me I was “messed up.” That’s the phrase Brandi used on me all the time. I just wasn’t interesting after I wasn’t hiding cutting and bruising anymore.

What a f*cked up friend. Why did you put up with that, younger me?

 

[somerandomguy]

Why did you put up with that, younger me?

Because younger you didn't know any better and was trying her best to be a good friend.

 

[littleoc]

That sounds right

 

[littleoc]

Are you doing okay, @somerandomguy?

 

[littleoc]

My news feed is full of the tsunami that happened, which is really saddening, to politics, to my regular science news which is occasionally showing up with disturbing things lately, to the now daily shootings in a nearby area. I sort of am not sure what to think of all that

 

[somerandomguy]

No. But thanks for asking.

 

[littleoc]

No. But thanks for asking.

You're welcome

I liked that for the thank you part, not for the "no" part.

:hug: :hug: Are you safe? I'm worried about you.

 

[littleoc]

So I contacted the Biohazard people and the phone number they gave me let me talk to the owner.

Apparently Sandy got really, really ill and suddenly had to retire. So that's apparently why she suddenly quit talking to me. I would have appreciated a warning though?

Some new guy took over and they even changed the name of the show. Seems a little suspicious but whatever. I can play the game back.

The lady of the Biohazard company let me know that she can try to figure out if she knows how to contact the new man. So that's something. She warned me that they pick like 17 families a year as it is, and I told her that this house is bad enough to need intervention and bad enough for a TV show to like. More, my sister told me she's willing to stand in front of a camera with her two-year-old son and say something dramatic like, "My son can't visit his grandma." And I really think they'd eat that shit up

Also contacted the professional organizer I was forwarded to. Not sure how she can help us organize a biohazard ("place the cat turds in alphabetical order"), but maybe she'll agree to see my mom and it'll work out. I dunno

 

[littleoc]

My bird must be pretty sick. Poor baby. She's so quiet today, doesn't want to come and play, doesn't want to move from her "bed." Acting depressed. But if it's rest that she needs, then I'll give her all the room

She is munching on a new toy my mom picked out for her, though, so that's awesome

 

[somerandomguy]

Your poor bird :(

Don't worry, I'm safe.

 

[littleoc]

Yeah :(

And good! Stay that way! <3

 

[Freida]

Why did you put up with that, younger me?

One of the smartest things a t has ever said to me was "Sociopaths are very convincing"
Brandi may have been young, but her brain worked like a sociopath so she was able to use what was good and loving in you to entertain her. You put up with her because you were a child - who thought she was helping someone be a better person.

You couldn't have figured it out on your own. You can only see it now because you are older and out of the situation. She was born a terrible person, and you just happened to be the innocent who crossed her path. And because of your home life, you were the perfect person for her to use.

It ALWAYS amazes me how in the world you became the loving, kind person you are - when you had so many horrible people in your life as a child.