(1) I wish my mom would listen to me about me needing to be ASLEEP at 10:30, not leaving my sisters house at 11:30. My head hurts, I’m groggy, I slept for twelve hours, again, and it was hard to calm down with my routine that messed up, and now I have to start over my thirty days but I just got an email from a doctor asking how it’s going. And got asked a triggering question that my therapist had claimed I’d never need to worry about because “no one talks about that kind of thing, we don’t need to work on it”
(2) my twin brother’s wife invited me to go over for dinner and I’m afraid of her and positive that she’s going to try to kill me for being competition for my twin. I am pretty sure this is incorrect but you haven’t seen how intense this person is. I snoozed her posts on Facebook because they were terrifying. Stuff about how women are liars, women need to learn to be quiet, gay women are dangerous, women who claim to have been raped are likely lying — I just can’t. I can’t be near this person. I dislike her. She’s insane. She did not come out of trauma okay. She’s so much like Brandi.
And she doesn’t know my brother is autistic.
And by the way there is some evidence that she was never pregnant.
I’m wondering if I could invite my sister and her son to soften things out.
I can’t believe I keep sleeping for twelve hours or more every night. I need regulation, but there isn’t any regulation in a house like this. My mom told me she refuses to buy more eggs until I eat the other eggs. Which is my fault, how? Y’all wanna see how the stove looks right now?
There was also a shooter who got away with four shootings nearby in the neighboring city, less than ten miles from here. Turns out he was going after child molestors, but obviously wasn’t right in the head, so he missed occasionally and got innocent people while going after molestors, no idea if I’m spelling that right, and also people saw them die so that sucks.
Brings in thoughts of how you guys would ever know if I died in a shooting, I’m never worried about myself, I’m bothering by people wondering and being sad. Mybintrusive thoughts are full of that.
Currently I’m extremely unhappy because I won’t be able to sleep tonight. I wish we could have dinners in this house. But no. Can’t even cook.
I’m not going to be able to do any work today. I need schedules or else I get really weird. I hate that.
My dog doesn’t even wake me up in the morning anymore, since we moved back to this house. It’s messing with her, too.