Sad thing - When you tell your therapist all your abuse and she can’t hug you because of boundaries.

[Snowflake]

Sad thing is when you tell your therapist all your abuse and she can’t hug you because of boundaries. Makes me question why I shared.

 

[Wendell_R]

Oh, that is very sad, and I wish I could hug my therapists too. My non-trauma therapist was surprised that there are so many ((hugs)) on this site. I need to explain to her how important it is for those of us who have grown up not trusting anyone, or even ourselves, to find safe places and safe people to hug.

I can tell you that as I share more and heal, I have been able to give and receive touch in the non-therapist world much more freely and with trust. I wish you strength, safety, and (((hugs))).

 

[Friday]

Your boundaries, or hers?

 

[rosey]

I hug my therapist. SHe will often come sit next to me and put a caring arm around me and after a difficult session we will have a quick goodbye hug. As long as you are both in agreement and giving and receiving of hugs knowing the professional relationship is not at risk then why not

 

[meander]

I think this is a changing boundary in the therapeutic relationship where it has become well known that validation is more than just listening and movement away from the traditional professional boundaries where touch is not allowed. It makes sense to me tbh because yes one of the greatest issues is the effect of consensual non sexual contact. If the therapist is only allowed to listen and never to reach out in a physical sense then, in my opinion, it’s a limited therapy- having said that my T and I are not there yet and I don’t know if she does or doesn’t allow it- we covered gifts recently and that was a step forward in that realm.
But, I would never bring it up.

 

[Muttly]

This is one of those cases where I am giving advice I am not sure I can follow. But I think this would be a really good thing to talk to her about. Even if her boundaries are that she can't hug you, talking about your feelings around that may better help you understand your needs, her reactions and create a stronger relationship.

 

[Snowflake]

Your boundaries, or hers?

Hers

This is one of those cases where I am giving advice I am not sure I can follow. But I think this would be a really good thing to talk to her about. Even if her boundaries are that she can't hug you, talking about your feelings around that may better help you understand your needs, her reactions and create a stronger relationship.

We talked a little about it last week. It’s a topic that comes up periodically. Too me I feel I’m too damaged, dirty to be hugged. But to her it’s just boundaries.

 

[Kubash16]

No advice but I think I’d give just about anything for a hug from my T but I don’t think it’s allowed since he’s a guy and I’m a girl. But in session I chicken way out on even bringing it up.

 

[Snowflake]

No advice but I think I’d give just about anything for a hug from my T but I don’t think it’s allowed since he’s a guy and I’m a girl. But in session I chicken way out on even bringing it up.

It’s just sad.

 

[EveHarrington]

My therapist hugged me once. I think hugs can be therapeutic

 

[Snowflake]

My therapist hugged me once. I think hugs can be therapeutic

I totally agree

 

[Eagle3]

Depends on the therapist. I developed an awesome and highly therapeutic relationship with my T BECAUSE he uses safe healing touch in his practice. I couldn't learn to trust without the touch aspect. He knows this, so hugs are a regular thing. Always consensual, always non-sexual, but very healing to have that caring "father" figure in my therapy. He's even been known to sit on the floor and hold me for 20 minutes anytime I ask. VERY rare, and one the reasons I stay with him as my T.

For me, I couldn't do meaningful therapy without the touch aspect. I've tried. This guy is an amazing fit for me, and I'm totally blessed to have found him. And it doesn't matter about the male/female issue to either of us. He's my T, he's safe, and it helps me. Good luck finding what you need! It is out there!