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Is There A Point To Continuing Anything Therapeutic That Has No Predictable Schedule?
- Post starter Tinyflame
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- Post starter
- #38
Hi @blackemerald1 , this is from the other thread, good a place as any to put it I suppose? As celebrating Christmas (or not) could be considered therapeutic?
You know, I know Christmas isn't about money, or gifts per se (except for children and meeting others' needs), and tbh believing in something bigger (personally) I don't know if that fact is any different on any given day- because those facts remain, so 'Christmas' (in terms of beliefs) is every day.
I wondered if just, I've changed; things I hated over the years I love most (favorite); maybe it works vice-versa? But I was thinking this also, when I did celebrate Christmas, why was that? And I could say, in terms of people I was intensely aware this could be their last, or my last (one never knows), and because of the beliefs I had. Life is meant for celebrating, right? And that's one great opportunity. But it's funny, even people who I would expect to have more meaning of it, I hear their words speak in terms of 'have to', not 'want to'. But I get it, it's all 'work', and pressure. And exhausting. And most people, well it seems this season really brings out the self-centered (I don't mean that judgmentally, I mean literally focused-on-self at the expense of others) and demanding tendencies of people. Of course, it can bring out the opposite, too, but I find not mostly at the 'user end'- those expecting or served want more, and more, and rarely think of the cost of their expectations to you or the demands placed on you.
However, I then thought, well why was it so important that if it was the last opportunity to celebrate Christmas that I did/ wanted to? And I think it was because my presence in the lives of the other person/ people was important to them, and same for me; my absence, or theirs, would have been greatly missed, or perhaps another way to say it is my presence was valued, as was theirs'. So, it was simply being loved, and loving, and being valued, and valuing. And enjoying that.
However, that is much of what makes celebrating Christmas great (as hopefully it is, and should be) for others, but is N/A for me.
I even thought, the situation at work, well there is truth our scheduling person is totally hopeless (would not be surprised if she is directly related to a specific higher up, same nationality etc, and just totally backwards- booked me on the only day I specified I couldn't work- as per usual). And of course very shocking (and disappointing) to me when I had planned around it, especially since I had to expend a huge chunk of change for a work-related purpose recently too, and wanted to make up some ground). And found out a short time ago- applying with special consideration (but no accomodation) for a better-houred position which I was awarded and then was pulled when a staff flipped out she didn't get it- turns out the HR person that awarded it, and called me to pull it (was a b*tch on the phone) is her daughter, lol. So I could fight Conflict of Interest, but not doing that, either. But like the SA situation, all that's done addressing it has increased it, not reduced it. And no one cares if it's not them affected directly.
Anyway, sorry -big digression. :( Just the way it is. What I MEANT (lol) to say is, it was equally disturbing to be 'screwed-over' by a 'friend' (though obviously, they're not).
Because I know I am responsible for managing +/ or changing my own life, and always have been, of course, yet I also know what is simply my limit of actuality to accomplish that (often learned the hard way), I've always had to rely on faith. Perhaps it's the resource of those alone, or resource-'less', or the weak, Idk? But I can for the last 10+ years relate more to, and get consolation from, the picture of One Man suffering in the Agony in the Garden (abandoned, alone, and sh*t is coming doen the pipe) than I can a family, spouses, a Mother, or a group of Kings or group of Shepherds. So 'Christmas', in another way, is totally foreign to me. The gratitude I should feel, is absent because I think 'hell' is the absence of God, and God is found in few places, although God is in people. But I do not really have 'people', although oh sure at work and such they are happy mostly, but it's because of what they get, and pretty much always want more, most explicitly at my expense, there is no concern or thought or caring there. Not that I expect it- what I mean is, it's All Just Work. Kind of phony?, even if the provision is sincere.
On the other hand, simply being known as having beliefs, well, I might be the only example someone has of that, so I don't want to turn them off because of me. I'll keep it to myself.
Idk, I think Christmas is for other people. I'm at peace to leave it at that.
Hugs to you @blackemerald1 , for your kindness- kindness always. And if you do celebrate Christmas, I hope it's a great one. :):hug:
You know, I know Christmas isn't about money, or gifts per se (except for children and meeting others' needs), and tbh believing in something bigger (personally) I don't know if that fact is any different on any given day- because those facts remain, so 'Christmas' (in terms of beliefs) is every day.
I wondered if just, I've changed; things I hated over the years I love most (favorite); maybe it works vice-versa? But I was thinking this also, when I did celebrate Christmas, why was that? And I could say, in terms of people I was intensely aware this could be their last, or my last (one never knows), and because of the beliefs I had. Life is meant for celebrating, right? And that's one great opportunity. But it's funny, even people who I would expect to have more meaning of it, I hear their words speak in terms of 'have to', not 'want to'. But I get it, it's all 'work', and pressure. And exhausting. And most people, well it seems this season really brings out the self-centered (I don't mean that judgmentally, I mean literally focused-on-self at the expense of others) and demanding tendencies of people. Of course, it can bring out the opposite, too, but I find not mostly at the 'user end'- those expecting or served want more, and more, and rarely think of the cost of their expectations to you or the demands placed on you.
However, I then thought, well why was it so important that if it was the last opportunity to celebrate Christmas that I did/ wanted to? And I think it was because my presence in the lives of the other person/ people was important to them, and same for me; my absence, or theirs, would have been greatly missed, or perhaps another way to say it is my presence was valued, as was theirs'. So, it was simply being loved, and loving, and being valued, and valuing. And enjoying that.
However, that is much of what makes celebrating Christmas great (as hopefully it is, and should be) for others, but is N/A for me.
I even thought, the situation at work, well there is truth our scheduling person is totally hopeless (would not be surprised if she is directly related to a specific higher up, same nationality etc, and just totally backwards- booked me on the only day I specified I couldn't work- as per usual). And of course very shocking (and disappointing) to me when I had planned around it, especially since I had to expend a huge chunk of change for a work-related purpose recently too, and wanted to make up some ground). And found out a short time ago- applying with special consideration (but no accomodation) for a better-houred position which I was awarded and then was pulled when a staff flipped out she didn't get it- turns out the HR person that awarded it, and called me to pull it (was a b*tch on the phone) is her daughter, lol. So I could fight Conflict of Interest, but not doing that, either. But like the SA situation, all that's done addressing it has increased it, not reduced it. And no one cares if it's not them affected directly.
Anyway, sorry -big digression. :( Just the way it is. What I MEANT (lol) to say is, it was equally disturbing to be 'screwed-over' by a 'friend' (though obviously, they're not).
Because I know I am responsible for managing +/ or changing my own life, and always have been, of course, yet I also know what is simply my limit of actuality to accomplish that (often learned the hard way), I've always had to rely on faith. Perhaps it's the resource of those alone, or resource-'less', or the weak, Idk? But I can for the last 10+ years relate more to, and get consolation from, the picture of One Man suffering in the Agony in the Garden (abandoned, alone, and sh*t is coming doen the pipe) than I can a family, spouses, a Mother, or a group of Kings or group of Shepherds. So 'Christmas', in another way, is totally foreign to me. The gratitude I should feel, is absent because I think 'hell' is the absence of God, and God is found in few places, although God is in people. But I do not really have 'people', although oh sure at work and such they are happy mostly, but it's because of what they get, and pretty much always want more, most explicitly at my expense, there is no concern or thought or caring there. Not that I expect it- what I mean is, it's All Just Work. Kind of phony?, even if the provision is sincere.
On the other hand, simply being known as having beliefs, well, I might be the only example someone has of that, so I don't want to turn them off because of me. I'll keep it to myself.
Idk, I think Christmas is for other people. I'm at peace to leave it at that.
Hugs to you @blackemerald1 , for your kindness- kindness always. And if you do celebrate Christmas, I hope it's a great one. :):hug:
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- Post starter
- #39
- Post starter
- #40
This was pretty funny though, I turned the radio on for the dog (Christmas music), and Celebrate Me Home (Kenny Loggins) came on from the first note, probably haven't heard that one since it was released in the early 80's, nearly! Used to like the wee piano solo, I recalled. Ironic.
My Boss called and tried to smooth things over, which I expected because she can be decent, probably relieved not an 'issue', at least not for me now. Last staff that quita couple of weeks ago blamed it on this worker though. Thought, it's coincided with the purchase of her (very) large home 3 years ago, triple the size of mine and it's not small. So likely single-focused/ mind-on-,money-over-people possibility, +/or worry. Which might be there anyway, from other comments from her about people having no value, or rather some relationships not being 'grieve-worthy'. Anyway, gave me one extra shift, I turned down the one they tried to dump on me. I might forgive, but she can have the Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, or turn it down herself. If I'm that stressed out, then I need the rest. Maybe I do, because I thought it didn't show but my friend asked me if I was ok? I didn't get it, just thought OMG, is it that obvious, :( , I am slipping in hiding it.
Though actually someone started calling me Sunshine last week, which I used to get all the time. Thought I was making (internal) progress. :(
My Boss called and tried to smooth things over, which I expected because she can be decent, probably relieved not an 'issue', at least not for me now. Last staff that quita couple of weeks ago blamed it on this worker though. Thought, it's coincided with the purchase of her (very) large home 3 years ago, triple the size of mine and it's not small. So likely single-focused/ mind-on-,money-over-people possibility, +/or worry. Which might be there anyway, from other comments from her about people having no value, or rather some relationships not being 'grieve-worthy'. Anyway, gave me one extra shift, I turned down the one they tried to dump on me. I might forgive, but she can have the Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, or turn it down herself. If I'm that stressed out, then I need the rest. Maybe I do, because I thought it didn't show but my friend asked me if I was ok? I didn't get it, just thought OMG, is it that obvious, :( , I am slipping in hiding it.
Though actually someone started calling me Sunshine last week, which I used to get all the time. Thought I was making (internal) progress. :(
blackemerald1
VIP Member
Oh @Junebug - you are sunshine! You are the real thing! I'm sorry these Christmas celebrations have turned to Sh*t for you...
In a previous life I was the single mother that needed teaching a lesson for being a single mother!! Yes that was what I was told! So was given all of the crap jobs and worst shifts including public holidays and Christmas and overtime (unpaid). One dare not ask for paid overtime!!! Or put on call... that was also a unwanted shift bc I was then in limbo. - And all of it I paid double time and extra for child minding so there was no financial gain and in fact the opposite.
My children grew up, the organisation grew some balls and stopped treating their female staff, in some ways, so appallingly. But from what I have heard and can see - there is still a long way to go.
I'm glad the boss called you and discussed this with you. At least that is some acknowledgement that she is aware of the impact the other worker is having on staff and more importantly - you.
I would have thought if she is under financial stress she would take any shift and not be too picky but anyway you are correct - I too would decline the horrible shift and force her to accept everything she asked for...good..bad..ugly etc.,
Are there any other public holidays coming along that you would like to take off or work that you can put down in the request book?
I have several view points on Christmas too. Most of them cynical :wtf::sorry:
I'm not into hyped up behaviour and I am appalled at the landfill that is offered for sale as gifts each year and the unbelievable level of consumerism that is going on.
I'm horrified and frightened with all the ways people can get themselves into debt over ONE single day of the year.
I'd rather spread my Christmas over the WHOLE year, doing little things here and there, rather than lob it all into one day - which I am not actually physically, mentally or financially able to do. Eg I gave my mother a rather cheap but still ok mobile phone during the year and many hours of lessons - she is elderly - so it takes a while. So..that's her gift and she will get a kiss. shrug...
Everyone else will have to tell me what they want or trust me... they will get nothing except for a kiss, a hug and if very lucky a meal! And...that should be enough because I am not in the socio-economic level to offer more and I just refuse to feel guilty about that!
Shopping quite literally makes me feel sick. Christmas crowds are very stressful for me and I need to avoid for my sanity and health.
If I watch Netflix - I can avoid a lot of the commercialism that also makes me feel dreadful. I say makes me feel - knowing that I should be mature enough not to let anything like this stupidity make me feel anything.
I'm sure I do not suffer from fomo syndrome.. I am over missing out on things! In fact missing out on things is a great way of avoiding all of the collateral damage that comes with being included in Christmas. Avoiding strategy ha!!
Honestly @Junebug if I could I'd invite you over for a quite ale on the back porch and a bit of a laugh at all of the stressed out, exhausted budgied out people swearing that they will never do this again... I would... :hug::hug:
In a previous life I was the single mother that needed teaching a lesson for being a single mother!! Yes that was what I was told! So was given all of the crap jobs and worst shifts including public holidays and Christmas and overtime (unpaid). One dare not ask for paid overtime!!! Or put on call... that was also a unwanted shift bc I was then in limbo. - And all of it I paid double time and extra for child minding so there was no financial gain and in fact the opposite.
My children grew up, the organisation grew some balls and stopped treating their female staff, in some ways, so appallingly. But from what I have heard and can see - there is still a long way to go.
I'm glad the boss called you and discussed this with you. At least that is some acknowledgement that she is aware of the impact the other worker is having on staff and more importantly - you.
I would have thought if she is under financial stress she would take any shift and not be too picky but anyway you are correct - I too would decline the horrible shift and force her to accept everything she asked for...good..bad..ugly etc.,
Are there any other public holidays coming along that you would like to take off or work that you can put down in the request book?
I have several view points on Christmas too. Most of them cynical :wtf::sorry:
I'm not into hyped up behaviour and I am appalled at the landfill that is offered for sale as gifts each year and the unbelievable level of consumerism that is going on.
I'm horrified and frightened with all the ways people can get themselves into debt over ONE single day of the year.
I'd rather spread my Christmas over the WHOLE year, doing little things here and there, rather than lob it all into one day - which I am not actually physically, mentally or financially able to do. Eg I gave my mother a rather cheap but still ok mobile phone during the year and many hours of lessons - she is elderly - so it takes a while. So..that's her gift and she will get a kiss. shrug...
Everyone else will have to tell me what they want or trust me... they will get nothing except for a kiss, a hug and if very lucky a meal! And...that should be enough because I am not in the socio-economic level to offer more and I just refuse to feel guilty about that!
Shopping quite literally makes me feel sick. Christmas crowds are very stressful for me and I need to avoid for my sanity and health.
If I watch Netflix - I can avoid a lot of the commercialism that also makes me feel dreadful. I say makes me feel - knowing that I should be mature enough not to let anything like this stupidity make me feel anything.
I'm sure I do not suffer from fomo syndrome.. I am over missing out on things! In fact missing out on things is a great way of avoiding all of the collateral damage that comes with being included in Christmas. Avoiding strategy ha!!
Honestly @Junebug if I could I'd invite you over for a quite ale on the back porch and a bit of a laugh at all of the stressed out, exhausted budgied out people swearing that they will never do this again... I would... :hug::hug:
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Really hope you get that rest @Junebug. You deserve it and deserve to put yourself first sometimes too. I hope it improves? soon.
- Post starter
- #43
Aw @blackemerald1 and @Abstract , thank you so much!!! :hug: You are very tender-hearted and giving souls!
Well, I actually felt happy much of today, and thought the people there deserve at least my genuine self- not that it's that great but it's familiar! ??? And the strange thing was, I feel better being happy, and not negative as a choice, so come what may I am glad. I saw something very odd- was very lucky and caught a break very early with a cancelled call -others have many, normally, or it is common, and my co-worker (friend of the other) said "What?!", and gave me a dirty look and shook her head. So I'm guessing she possibly thinks life for me is very easy. And I am ok with that. And they get angry the people joke with me and compliment me a lot, but they could talk to them and usually don't. But I just can't be anyone I'm not. At one strange point the building Mgmt told their workers not to speak to ours (rapport has improved since, very anti-Union environment) and I did not know and still said "hello!" and smiled and therefore so did they! I said "I'm not sure how not to smile (at others at work)"- my other coworker laughed and said "I think you are incapable of not smiling!"
Well maybe I can get a little sunny-with-a-few-clouds, again @blackemerald1 ? :)
Well that is priceless ^^: love, concern, need met, time and care.
I am certainly not suffering from fomo either, OMG am seeking how to get out and away!
And even myself, I have always said if you're giving a gift and have to worry how or what it's wrapped in etc etc, you might be giving it to the wrong person.
It's also kind of ~insulting to think of others that way, that they don't care about what your (our) situation(s) are. Or 'how' we are?
Actually @blackemerald1 , I think such genuineness is worth much much more than anything stores sell. Sounds like the perfect gift. And I mean that sincerely. -Intangibles.
:hug: 's and I think we should celebrate. :) And I would love to meet you for an ale/ beer out here on the back porch. Wouldn't that be fun! :):inlove:
Oh, I forgot! I think I editted it out by mistake- the person who's call was cancelled started to talk to me about being lost in space/ on the news- I remembered the advice I heard yesterday: ~When you don't know what to do/ where to go, stop and maintain a holding pattern until you have clear guidance.
Well, I actually felt happy much of today, and thought the people there deserve at least my genuine self- not that it's that great but it's familiar! ??? And the strange thing was, I feel better being happy, and not negative as a choice, so come what may I am glad. I saw something very odd- was very lucky and caught a break very early with a cancelled call -others have many, normally, or it is common, and my co-worker (friend of the other) said "What?!", and gave me a dirty look and shook her head. So I'm guessing she possibly thinks life for me is very easy. And I am ok with that. And they get angry the people joke with me and compliment me a lot, but they could talk to them and usually don't. But I just can't be anyone I'm not. At one strange point the building Mgmt told their workers not to speak to ours (rapport has improved since, very anti-Union environment) and I did not know and still said "hello!" and smiled and therefore so did they! I said "I'm not sure how not to smile (at others at work)"- my other coworker laughed and said "I think you are incapable of not smiling!"
Well maybe I can get a little sunny-with-a-few-clouds, again @blackemerald1 ? :)
Well that is priceless ^^: love, concern, need met, time and care.
I am certainly not suffering from fomo either, OMG am seeking how to get out and away!
And even myself, I have always said if you're giving a gift and have to worry how or what it's wrapped in etc etc, you might be giving it to the wrong person.
It's also kind of ~insulting to think of others that way, that they don't care about what your (our) situation(s) are. Or 'how' we are?
Actually @blackemerald1 , I think such genuineness is worth much much more than anything stores sell. Sounds like the perfect gift. And I mean that sincerely. -Intangibles.
:hug: 's and I think we should celebrate. :) And I would love to meet you for an ale/ beer out here on the back porch. Wouldn't that be fun! :):inlove:
Oh, I forgot! I think I editted it out by mistake- the person who's call was cancelled started to talk to me about being lost in space/ on the news- I remembered the advice I heard yesterday: ~When you don't know what to do/ where to go, stop and maintain a holding pattern until you have clear guidance.
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- Post starter
- #44
Hi @blackemerald1 and @Abstract I just wanted to come back to add one more thing, if ok.
I think you, and the people here, and a select few people irl, have been so kind and patient (to me) and encouraging, and forgiving, and supportive, always.
I have great fear.
And I was thinking how Christmas, or celebrating it, is sort of a lot like thanksgiving- wanting to have thanks and giving.
And I was thinking how precious it is- and how much easier it is on the heart to be treated so kindly.
And how maybe, many people haven't had the need or desire or opportunity to try to get better, or try to learn how to live not only with kindness to others but themselves.
And how I don't really always have much in common with some people, because for example there's a push at work to buy for one's self, most is talk of buying for one's self; and I'm happy with what I have and if I can pay what I need to, and give. And I, too, can give all year. As you said @blackemerald1 it isn't just one day (and gosh knows, people's needs don't end with Christmas. :( ) But how too going off my own personal rails or suffering stress or heart-sadness over the sadness of not having what I want to give- though not 'good'- doesn't make me a bad person, either. Provided I don't lash out in return. (Or I suppose at myself, either). And we really don't have the healthiest work site- none of them are- workers are generally lashing out at each other all the time, and gossip, and the like, and usually I can avoid 99.9% of it by being busy working, having other things that occupy my mind, and working on just myself. It's all women. It was so fun years ago when I worked with mostly men, because we laughed loads, covered each other, worked great together, and left work behind- more balanced and no personal attacks. The scariest part is watching (and hearing) others wish others harm or loss. :( Anyway, last I will say on that because it causes me stress. :(
In seriousness I feel more like I am trying just to get back to my Home Planet, nevermind. ?
I like peace, -a lot.
I am really horrified/ shocked- and don't understand the mindset but I keep hearing and seeing others repeat it- laughing at other's suffering, whether that be co-workers or clients. :( And I am wondering, if it an uncurrent of anger, or something else? I just can't understand that, as in- I don't 'get' it.
And how even the silly infection I have, went rampant with stress; it reduced though too at least 70% last night, with feeling somewhat better. Stupid thing got seriously so bad o/night I nearly needed to go to Emergency, and I've avoided doctors for 30+ years. So I guess it hits me hard, too. (Stupid). But really, though the infection was more pressing that kind of stuff makes my heart hurt (physically/ sore chest).
And it's a process for me to learn these things.
Oh yes, and how I do believe advice that is useful and accurate needs understanding, first. Which is why people like you here and others, and irl, are really precious, because you do.
And how, I just 'feel' so much better being grateful, as I have much: what I need to live; who I need to live; help learning how to live; and the truth is, even a minute's chance to live. I suppose, in my case, a 2nd (3rd, 4th..) chance to live.
And Thank you so much. :hug::hug: Because I always have terrible, terrible guilt or remorse after trying to stand up for myself or advocate for myself.
Christmas is a beautiful time of year. :inlove:
(Oops, was more than 1 thing! :rolleyes::):hug: )
I think you, and the people here, and a select few people irl, have been so kind and patient (to me) and encouraging, and forgiving, and supportive, always.
I have great fear.
And I was thinking how Christmas, or celebrating it, is sort of a lot like thanksgiving- wanting to have thanks and giving.
And I was thinking how precious it is- and how much easier it is on the heart to be treated so kindly.
And how maybe, many people haven't had the need or desire or opportunity to try to get better, or try to learn how to live not only with kindness to others but themselves.
And how I don't really always have much in common with some people, because for example there's a push at work to buy for one's self, most is talk of buying for one's self; and I'm happy with what I have and if I can pay what I need to, and give. And I, too, can give all year. As you said @blackemerald1 it isn't just one day (and gosh knows, people's needs don't end with Christmas. :( ) But how too going off my own personal rails or suffering stress or heart-sadness over the sadness of not having what I want to give- though not 'good'- doesn't make me a bad person, either. Provided I don't lash out in return. (Or I suppose at myself, either). And we really don't have the healthiest work site- none of them are- workers are generally lashing out at each other all the time, and gossip, and the like, and usually I can avoid 99.9% of it by being busy working, having other things that occupy my mind, and working on just myself. It's all women. It was so fun years ago when I worked with mostly men, because we laughed loads, covered each other, worked great together, and left work behind- more balanced and no personal attacks. The scariest part is watching (and hearing) others wish others harm or loss. :( Anyway, last I will say on that because it causes me stress. :(
In seriousness I feel more like I am trying just to get back to my Home Planet, nevermind. ?
I like peace, -a lot.
I am really horrified/ shocked- and don't understand the mindset but I keep hearing and seeing others repeat it- laughing at other's suffering, whether that be co-workers or clients. :( And I am wondering, if it an uncurrent of anger, or something else? I just can't understand that, as in- I don't 'get' it.
And how even the silly infection I have, went rampant with stress; it reduced though too at least 70% last night, with feeling somewhat better. Stupid thing got seriously so bad o/night I nearly needed to go to Emergency, and I've avoided doctors for 30+ years. So I guess it hits me hard, too. (Stupid). But really, though the infection was more pressing that kind of stuff makes my heart hurt (physically/ sore chest).
And it's a process for me to learn these things.
Oh yes, and how I do believe advice that is useful and accurate needs understanding, first. Which is why people like you here and others, and irl, are really precious, because you do.
And how, I just 'feel' so much better being grateful, as I have much: what I need to live; who I need to live; help learning how to live; and the truth is, even a minute's chance to live. I suppose, in my case, a 2nd (3rd, 4th..) chance to live.
And Thank you so much. :hug::hug: Because I always have terrible, terrible guilt or remorse after trying to stand up for myself or advocate for myself.
Christmas is a beautiful time of year. :inlove:
(Oops, was more than 1 thing! :rolleyes::):hug: )
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Friday
Sponsor
I’m the opposite, here... Celebrating alone is something I find fun & easy. Involving other people gets complicated, and often dicey. As people enjoy different things, and have different expectations.
So it might be worth looking at what you view as a celebration?
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blackemerald1
VIP Member
^^Oh @Junebug you are a ray of sunshine and really...as you know it takes less energy to smile than scowl.
^^Well this is where I find Christmas a little bit silly. I see people stressing out and lashing out already, purchasing beyond their means to maintain a facade of idk wealth, happiness, success??? Not sure.. but I'm tired of it.. have been for years bc I want Christmas to be a time - also - of thanksgiving. (I'm not in the US) So..Christmas is our time to celebrate but it does get all twisted out of shape by commercialism.
No you are definitely not a bad person because you cannot keep up with this hyped up sensational facade that is perversely the opposite of the spirit of the Season. You give so much all year round here Junebug :hug: I'm sure it flows into your real world too..
^^Ugh...I'm so sorry @Junebug.. that sounds quite toxic. When I have worked in toxic environments it's interesting to watch the productivity of these workers drop. I'm glad you can avoid almost of all of it - I agree with you watch out and duck lol !!
^^No that's no funny at all. Things are getting fairly serious when this starts to happen. I'm sorry it must be hard to listen to people do this each day.. particularly when you have ptsd.
^^Oh I read that and smiled!! I told my T yesterday I am questioning if I belong here on earth.. I feel detached from human-kind some days. But then I log on here and you and other lovely people are hanging around with interesting ideas and great personalities so I stuff my space suit back in the wardrobe for another day lol. :)
^^Unspoken, malevolent, undercurrents are insidious and very difficult to manage. When someone is called out for it, there is denial and diversion. It's horrible!! Ugh!
^^Neither do I. I think they are probably just plain stupid - laughing - I have never found a reasonable justification for bad workplace behaviour by workers. I have no idea why this happens. I suspect sometimes it only takes one worker to start up the ripple effect in a workplace and we all know how ripples work... But really I don't understand the mental process for it.
^^Oh Junebug!! No..!! Don't let infections get the better of you like that. Yes stress breaks down our natural physical defence's and slows recovery. Please take good care of yourself and try not to worry about Christmas because it will come and go...as always...and after it's gone well who cares?
^^I've stood up for a lot of people in a former life however standing up for myself was so perilous and I wasn't good at it either. You are not alone with this issue @Junebug but keep yourself safe in that workplace and please take good care of that infection!! :hug: :hug: :)
Mach123
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The original question about therapy I want to say I first went in my twenties. I didn't know why. I just new there was something. About twenty years later I started getting the idea it was CSA. IDK how many therapists and therapies were in between. Lots and I stopped often because of time circumstances and money. Then after another twenty years or so, CSA and trauma and cPTSD came out. Now I'm sixty. So yes, everything helps and leads somewhere hopefully even if u can't see it at the time.
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Thank you @Mach123 . In other words in a way carry on when nothing makes sense?
Oh @blackemerald1 you would look cute in your space suit. :):hug: Yes, same, it's not Thanksgiving here, either
Yes. And it's worse the higher up the chain they are. Or when you have to work daily with each other or rely on each other.
Me neither. :(
Today a woman from their side was in tears to me, said she has never worked in a more disrespectful environment, from the Mgmt, a coworker, clients and their family members. And that she has to get another job to quit, but she has to quit. And she works her rear off, is kind to all and loving. I feel for her because she's only worked there since late last summer, I get it (intimately), I really do. :(
It's made worse too because this work demands infinite patience, kindness, and creative problem solving, to deliver, as well as competency and physical ability. And it's deemed essential- 24/7/365. Which always gets me when they talk about dignity and preserving it and life- as long, of course if someone else provides the practical means for it; seems to me there's nothing much dignified sitting crying in feces because the person thinks they've locked their key in their room- but oh, they're crying because they think what they've hidden has been stolen. Or they think they've missed their flight to Vegas. Or others have given them a distraction like music that lasts 15 minutes and taken off- because they can't bear the same question for the 50th or 60th time in the first 15 minutes (literally)- before they strip naked, put their shirt on as pants and start cursing everyone down under the sun. Or are thinking the people on the tv are in their room/ home. Etc etc. But you have to sacrifice a living wage, your safety and health, destroy your own body, and care for and manage people who are physically and mentally ill all day. I don't know how many suggestions I've heard that show only lack of experience and understanding of what it involves or requires. I have had an occassional even stranger visiting say, "OMG, kudos to you, I could never do your job for one day". Yet despite this, you can get them trusting, laughing, smiling and usually cooperating. Let alone the chronic care; the palliative and end of life care, and every other form of care required. But all under the umbrella your job is worth nothing; you are worth nothing; you will have little; and your body will, like many of theirs', become unsalvageably damaged to either support itself or manage your own care- which we are all well aware as time goes on, and we have more physical issues, and repetitive and physical injuries than the people we're caring for have at double the age. But God forbid Mgmt finds that out, or you declare an injury, as you'll have a fight on your hands when they come back with arthritis identified and your coverage goes out the window. Then, too, you get workers simply not working too, when they should be. Last spring a worker at work called in she felt ill, they wouldn't give her authorization to leave, she went to the lobby and died. The response I heard at my worksite from her 'friends'?- "She worked too much". :(
Well @Friday , I do likely 'celebrate' more in any given week than most people do in a year, based likely simply upon a) accomplishing for myself small things others mostly take for granted, and/or b) being shocked I actually somehow did, +/or c) being thankful I could.
Idk, never thought about it, I guess I would define celebrating as sharing joy.
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