Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

[Freida]

Hey, wait. Was it normal to her to have to do that?

no. Not at all Or maybe - yes for abusive parents But either way - not good.

 

[bellbird]

Thinking of you in a hoarder house with a fire made me crazy.

I've got to admit, it makes my stomach feel very very queasy thinking about this as well.
I could not be happier for you that you got your license, and that you have plans and are making steps toward moving out.
Important note: I made the decision to read your post. My queasiness is solely down to my concern for you because I care about you, I wasn't "disturbed" by what I read :hug:

One day I’ll get the reindeer one! I’ve had my eye on it for years... these women from Nepal handmade them with wool yarn!!

One year for Christmas we all wore hats, and my cousin wore a baseball cap with moose antlers, and it said Merry Chris-moose on it. I feel like you'd like it :)

Nestle got fire spotting training and WILL memorize exists and drag people away.

Just when I thought I couldn't love Nessie more...
Y'all are a great duo.
PLEASE GIVE HER PATS FROM ME. Specifically Little sends some; she's been out quite strongly following this afternoon's events. She thinks Nessie is the best :)

 

[littleoc]

@bellbird
I LOVE Chris-moose!!! :)

I’ll give her a hug for you!!

 

[littleoc]

no. Not at all Or maybe - yes for abusive parents But either way - not good.

She doesn’t seem like the type of person to want to put kids in danger. She must have thought the government would be more dangerous? I could see her freezing up, looking up nothing, and assuming her kids were in danger of getting taken away. Self fulfilling prophecy to the extreme...

Her dad lived in an orphanage in the early 1900s somewhere (when they are still a big thing) and that was traumatic. Especially since his sister was living with their mother.

Just realized I haven’t talked to Eunice in 5ever. She’s awesome.

Anyway, my dad’s brother had just gotten his kids taken away as well, and they became under the state’s custody and I haven’t seen most of them since. That was really, really sad. I miss Emily the most, but her family won’t allow contact, and they do have that right. They probably don’t mean to be cruel, they’re probably just worried about her safety or something. I’m clearly dAnGeRoUs. They do seriously have that right though. She should be eighteen soon, though.

But then again, I assumed the government would take me away once I talked about my dad, and I still preferred it. Lol. Still was spooky tho.

My mom is sometimes a little mean, but mostly she’s dysfunctional and possibly delusional. Except today, while she was yelling at objects and saying that she never got to set up her office. There wasn’t even room, so....

I was polite about it though. Maybe I should be more of a dick? My family has given me the new nickname “drill sargent” so maybe I am doing well on the “don’t enable mom’s sugar eating habits”? I was gonna say “maybe I’m doing too much” but it’s possible that everyone is enabling and my mom clearly is in danger at this point so it’s probably okay to be bossier about it? I can’t tell if it’s a good nickname or not, but at least I have a voice now, lol. Which is great since my family doesn’t know sign language (despite there being a deaf person in our family but whatever, he’s fine :/)

 

[TTC18]

SO happy you have your license - and I can totally understand the desire to just live in the car. What if you just got a broom and started swiping stuff off counters into trash bags? Or onto the floor and then used a push broom to swipe it all into a corner? Or something? What you live in is awful. You will be so much happier when you can move. Facebook has a lot of local groups where people post looking for rooms and stuff - maybe you could look for someone to share a house with - and have room for pets and get chickens! :)

 

[littleoc]

I ranted maybe? :)

 

[littleoc]

Facebook has a lot of local groups where people post looking for rooms and stuff - maybe you could look for someone to share a house with - and have room for pets and get chickens! :)

I’ve found some of those ads! And I’ve had a friend offer a room in an apartment as well. I’m just really nervous?

I will at least get a job first! :)

SO happy you have your license

Thank you!!! Me too!!!!! I assumed I wouldn’t be able to before!!!


I think swiping stuff into a trash bag might freak her out. The thing is that there’s a lot of actually important stuff mixed in. Some of it is cheap, and some of it is... definitely not. But even the cheap stuff has added up in the past.

We’ve been trying to clean it for so long, no method has worked well. She never helped, she’d just yell at us. And tell us we don’t do a good job like our sister. Then tell me she’s jealous that my room is cleaner. (But, like, in a supportive way. She was clearly being supportive.) So I’m pretty much over it. She needs professional help, I got her professional help twice, she did nothing about it, so... yeah. I guarantee you the stove is already covered again by now. :/

But thank you!! I may try a little. I would at least like a kitchen.

 

[bellbird]

So I’m pretty much over it. She needs professional help, I got her professional help twice, she did nothing about it, so... yeah.

Very glad you are recognising that this her issue and not your own!!
You're making strides :hug:

 

[ILoveLife]

I could see her freezing up, looking up nothing, and assuming her kids were in danger of getting taken away. Self fulfilling prophecy to the extreme...

So.. even lousy parents don't want to lose their kids.
Abusive parents don't want to lose their kids.
Etc.
Some do, and that's always thought to be for the best in that case.

Your mom not wanting to lose her kids it's a natural All Parents reaction.

 

[ILoveLife]

I'm not saying she doesn't love you, but it's well established there has been very little respect.

There are definitely mental issues here that should be adressed, but not by you, it's not your responsibility. :hug:

 

[littleoc]

but it's well established there has been very little respect.

I know that she’s at least trying her best. The other day I blurted out that I was nervous about her listening to me when I went for therapy. When I came out, she was reading a book in her car. Assured me later that no one (even her) could hear over the noise machines.

Other things, less so. But I know that she at least cares.

But yeah, other times she isn’t very respectful. I am trying to ignore it when it happens at this point. She is trying to not bother me though, which makes me want to include her more because I know she’s lonely. I really think she’d have more friends if she knew slightly better though. She gets along with strangers in restaurants most days! People think she’s funny and clever. Or that she makes dad jokes. She’s a bitter aggressive now days go strangers though. It’s teally nerve racking because I’m afraid someone will get aggressive back.

 

[littleoc]

That last sentence is what caused me to dissociate in front of my entire family once. My mom will escalate issues with strangers instead of ask nicely. It’s scary when the other person might escalate. My dad obviously did.