Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

[littleoc]

So she probably neglected the shit out of us as teenagers because she had no idea what she was doing, had never been a woman without a man before, and kind of just did things without any kind of support or know-how.

Seriously, when she and my little brother were having screaming fights, it was my job to do something. It makes me angry. My dad had me bully him, and my mom didn’t think that was weird, apparently? Just kind of nodded when my sister claimed we were all like our dad and needed to be punished for it?

 

[littleoc]

Oof, I need to stop talking about that.

I know a woman with mental retardation who has a son, and she hasn’t let a single bad thing happen to her son.

Can I compare though? My mom grew up in an abusive household. Hannah seems to have grown up safely. She’s got great boundaries and can sense when someone is being unsafe near her son. That’s instinct. My mom somehow doesn’t have instinct.

 

[littleoc]

My mom has a surprisingly huge amount in common with Hannah, now that I think about it though.

Except my mom can do a bit more stuff. Seems intelligent (not saying Hannah isn’t, though, Hannah just has more challenges, doesn’t make her not intelligent). My mom’s strengths come from making equations. But, she has no emotional regulation. Can’t handle stress.

I’m confused now. I think my mom got a mental evaluation when my dad accused her of being unfit as a parent to a court.

 

[littleoc]

I am very confused suddenly.

 

[littleoc]

My dad does prey on the vulnerable. He tried to teach me how to look for vulnerable people once. It was creepy. He told me that Brandi looked vulnerable. While she was in the house.

 

[littleoc]

I looked up the mental retardation diagnosis info. My dad fits, my mom does not.

 

[Kubash16]

It may not be retardation per say. Not including the other issues she does have, some people just don’t have the mothering instinct. It can be learned to an extent but some people just don’t have it and some people have it in spades.

 

[bellbird]

but does it count as a choice if she was a child who was also being abused?

Yes, it does. Z was abused as a child.
He, like many abusers of others on this site, made a choice to become an abuser himself.
We are different, because me have made the decision to break that cycle.

I found 11 places I could apply to work in.

Fab!

Technically I could also work in Nashville as a biologist but I'm going to wait a bit longer.

Quiz time:
What is the powerhouse of the cell?
Congratulations you are a qualified biologist. Well if undergrad bio taught me anything, you are :roflmao:

Ginger cookies

Yom. Do you ship to NZ?

 

[littleoc]

That’s true.

My mom had some mothering instinct when we were very small. It probably saved us from acting like animals?

She does with her grandson. When she heard that my twin’s wife is planning on hitting her kids, she got upset.

No emotional regulation really. Just freezes up. The gossips. It’s really bizarre.

 

[bellbird]

New plan.

Come to NZ and study postgrad at my university with me :hug:
Ok I know there's a lot of obstacles for that one, but one can dream right?

 

[littleoc]

He, like many abusers of others on this site, made a choice to become an abuser himself.
We are different, because me have made the decision to break that cycle.

Okay, very true.

I’m just so aware that Brandi didn’t fully realize she was doing it?

Although, my dad thought he didn’t do anything wrong either, and yet I don’t answer his calls anymore because his life choices disgust me. So... lol

What is the powerhouse of the cell?

The triangle!!!! ?

THE BEAN ?

I love those memes so much. Have you seen the cockatiel one? It’s so terrible I bet a 12-year-old made it. It’s beautiful

Yom. Do you ship to NZ?

Ha, maybe!

Maybe if you set up an anonymous post box in the post office, then I give my fake email so you could tell me the box #, then the cookies would get to you without getting confiscated????? Lol

Come to NZ and study postgrad at my university with me :hug:
Ok I know there's a lot of obstacles for that one, but one can dream right?

Lol. It would be easier than working in Iceland. Iceland has a great biology field if you ignore the whaling politics! (Don’t get me started, I would rant your ear off and show you a million pictures.) Genetics in particular. I even have a connection there. Actually, two. One of them isn’t a biologist :P

It’s just you know, high cost of living. Lol.

And the fact that Nestle isn’t legally a service dog there.

NZ would probably be easier! :P

I wish my undergrad had post-grad work! It doesn’t for scientists for some reason. Probably because it prides itself on literature and — shockingly — religion (Christianity). (Its a religious school. Te history is super interesting but I won’t rant at you today :P)

 

[bellbird]

I’m just so aware that Brandi didn’t fully realize she was doing it?

She didn't fully realise it, or she said that she didn't fully realise it?
That's not necessarily a rhetorical question, as I struggle with this with Z.
If you asked him if he abused me, he would straight up say no. Without hesitation. Does that mean he wasn't aware he was? Or that he's just saying that?