My Therapist “broke” Me

[Sideways]

So the focus is the understanding of the attachment disorder and the rebuild of trust and safety. The solution is an ongoing discussion and I don’t think that either of us really knows what the best thing is at this point, but at least we are working together on it.

I think that this may be why she didn’t send you the links during her leave (rather than just out of concern for your anxiety).

Boundaries aren’t just about keeping people from getting too close or too involved. They’re also about building strong relationships, healthy relationships. She’s set some very clear boundaries about email, because that’s a big deal for your relationship with her at the moment. Keeping those boundaries doesn’t just mean “We can’t email except when..”, it also means “I know that my T is reliable about this, and I can trust her to be consistent to her word...”

 

[Skywatcher]

I think that this may be why she didn’t send you the links during her leave (rather than just out of concern for your anxiety).

Boundaries aren’t just about keeping people from getting too close or too involved. They’re also about building strong relationships, healthy relationships. She’s set some very clear boundaries about email, because that’s a big deal for your relationship with her at the moment. Keeping those boundaries doesn’t just mean “We can’t email except when..”, it also means “I know that my T is reliable about this, and I can trust her to be consistent to her word...”

True, and I am glad that she was willing to try the one email response this week as a way of showing me that she is not this all-powerful, all knowing therapist. That as I develop better skills, the set up can change as long as it benefits our relationship, anxiety and my mental health. There was a time that I was sad that I could never be friends with her or in a dual relationship, but I am starting to see the value of how special this type of relationship can be and how it could never be this special if it was a normal one.