Do I Have PTSD? Please Help!

[philostam]

:think:

Nobody got the joke?!

 

[cherryblossom]

Clearly not - please explain.

 

[gdf]

philostam,

I do have to say that I find the use of your phrase as follows offensive :

"You retard, you just imagining things, get the f out of here!"

Having spent almost 28 years of my adult career working with individuals with mental retardation (and disabilities of all types including mental illness--PTSD included) using the term "retard" as an insult is insensitive.

It also sounds like you feel you have things pretty much figured out from your subsequent posts so I would ponder why you would post such personal information right off the bat and then try to cover your actions of calling people evil and idiots by saying it's a joke. Your posts keep saying it the fault of everyone else--psychologists, parents, drugs, etc. that you can't figure out what's wrong with you. Now the people on the forum. Be real with people here and I think more people will respond to you. You can blame everyone and everything for failures to get a diagnosis or become well but until you accept that this is a process, and often times a hard one that requires a commitment and a lot of courage to overcome, you will most likely continue to feel frustrated and frustrate others.

Gina

 

[a3a2]

Okay, Philostam, welcome to the forum.

I don't know if you have PTSD, but I know I do. I knew, because AFTER I got diagnosed, I read the description, and it fit me to a T. I had flashbacks (didn't know what they were before). I had nightmares, was hypervigilant (was always wondering what the heck was wrong with me, just couldn't figure it out). I didn't want to talk about my past and even pretended my husband's childhood was my own when I talked to people. I don't think I really disassocite much.

DO I think you have PTSD....I odn't know. I do think you are quite impulsive, and it gets you into trouble with people...probably in "real life" as well as on the forum. If I were you I would probably want to look into being tested for ADHD, as well as PTSD. I am a teacher, not a psychologist. Just my opinion.

I wish you well. Hope you find what you seek.

 

[philostam]

Stop!! Stop!! We simply don't understand each other! I explain. I can't believe that this is happening. I had anything but symptoms of ADHD, I'm too depressive, shy, not offensive. And to be honest I don't see how that post can be misunderstood (it's not an attack, again, I really do not see it).

I was trying to say: "Please respond me in any way, no matter in what manner. You can say to me directly even that I'm a retard, and just imagining things, and you can send me the f out here!" And then I wanted to switch the cold mood to a friendly, privy one with a joke, that I would be happy even if an automatic advertisement-generator robot posted here. But these posts usually are deleted by the moderators. At the end, I complete the joke: "Maybe I got the latter response, but it was deleted by the evil moderators?!?!" And I add a SMILEY to make it totally clear. I wanted to add a big winking smiley but there isn't one.

HOW the hell could you read from this that I call YOU a retard?!!? and why did you automatically assume that I'm evil and call you - honestly, offensively - EVIL?! If I say: "The wacko, retard moderators", okay. But in my way it's a simple joke.

In summary - and read it without prejudice please, I'm not attacking, I'm thinking - maybe we both have some problems of "socializing": I automatically assume that you reject me; you automatically assume that I attack you. Think about it, I try to.

 

[Nicolette]

Welcome to the forum philstam.

In answer to your title "Please Help Me" I think that is something you will have to test out with trial and error and work out for yourself. Everyone is different and something some has said or will say here may make sense to you. Ultimately people can only offer their experiences and opinions.

As for "Do I Have PTSD?" you know full well that we can't answer that. I'm not sure what you are looking for but I hope you find it as it doesn't seem that is what is happening from what I have read. Personally your thread title can be a little misleading as my first reaction was that you were trying to find that out but you have knocked back what others can only offer - their opinion.

Just one thing to remember.....and I know its hard not to take things the wrong way; it's hard to see a person's intent without body language. If you go into 'Go Advanced' you can add emoticons which you could put next to jokes so you are not misconstrued. Also, as my time is limited here sometimes I reply and forget to welcome people and just get down to business. It is nothing personal. When I first joined I thought some members were abrupt and rude but after a time I realized some were not but just spreading themselves around as, especially new members, get upset when no one responds to their posts.

I am not sticking up for anyone or taking sides but I think the more you read the more you will realize that the forum is a friendly place and it just takes time to get to know people as them you.

Good luck.

 

[anthony]

I reckon the sooner it all goes video, the better... can't misread people when they are responding via face, emotion, tone, etc.

 

[cherryblossom]

Thanks for explaining. Yep it is sometimes easy to miss what is a joke and what is serious in the written word, because there are no facial expressions to help judge.

Lets start again shall we?

Welcome to the forum. As you have probably established by now, there is loads of information here to help you on your journey. Have a good read around the forum and use the search facility to help you find older threads which may help you. I still recomend trying to get a proper diagnosis so that you know what you are dealing with.

Take care, CB

 

[philostam]

I found a past member (MeKat) who also had childhood emotional abuse and neglect, and also reacted impatiently here to the assumed neglect.

I guess I should specify that my childhood trauma was emotional abuse and neglect.

My possible trauma is the same; and I reacted here in the same way. :think: My first flashback/psychosis was triggered by a rejection.

Well, not easy to notice that we are behaving abnormally, if we lived our whole conscious life like that.

 

[Nicolette]

Well, not easy to notice that we are behaving abnormally, if we lived our whole conscious life like that.

Very true. But there is much to be gained by honest self assessment so well done on realizing this for yourself.