Anger

[Snowflake]

So if you were to drop a negative source, would that allow you to feel more confidence in yourself to work on building friendships?

We are working on that too. Lol

 

[Kubash16]

K lol. I don’t want to be like divorce your husband! cause two sides to every story. Plus everyone’s version of support can be different. But, if you don’t have someone to lean on a little (and vice versa) that can obviously be an issue. Especially if they are just dragging you down further.

 

[Mach123]

How I was. How I behaved. The things I did to others. It made me angry that I was like that. My feelings weren't normal. I was angry all the time. That really pissed me off.

 

[Snowflake]

How I was. How I behaved. The things I did to others. It made me angry that I was like that. My feelings weren't normal. I was angry all the time. That really pissed me off.

I understand -I’m angry at myself for things too

 

[Friday]

What part of my trauma history makes me angry? None of it, really.

What part of my PTSD makes me angry?
- Losing control
- Not being able to manage myseld, my life // going nonfunctional
- Wasted time
- Loss
- Not being able to trust my own judgement

 

[Marvel545]

I'm angry that I feel unable to stand up for myself due to distortions from the past.

 

[Changing4Best]

Somehow, there is a way about me that often attracts people who want to either emotionally abuse me or worse, or they want to take advantage of me. I guess I come across as a person who will put up with a lot of abuse, because I was taught at such a young age to do so. I had to accept it with a smile on my face, I had no choice. (Then as a child).

Now I want to wear a pin or something that says, "Don't mess with me!" Lately it has been better, no one currently is messing with me, but I am not in a relationship or anything, and co-workers are behaving, so I am almost holding my breath, wondering how long this reprieve will last!

 

[Mach123]

Somehow, there is a way about me that often attracts people who want to either emotionally abuse me or worse, or they want to take advantage of me. I guess I come across as a person who will put up with a lot of abuse, because I was taught at such a young age to do so. I had to accept it with a smile on my face, I had no choice. (Then as a child).

Now I want to wear a pin or something that says, "Don't mess with me!" Lately it has been better, no one currently is messing with me, but I am not in a relationship or anything, and co-workers are behaving, so I am almost holding my breath, wondering how long this reprieve will last!

My first trauma therapist taught me I don't see the people who'd be good for me like they're invisible. And I have a sign or pin that says "I want you to abuse me." She also said that'd go away but I have not really seen it yet. I'm better, I also hide a lot. I can't do anything with people around because it just starts all that up again. I'm happy to be a stay at home mom lol.

 

[Snowflake]

Somehow, there is a way about me that often attracts people who want to either emotionally abuse me or worse, or they want to take advantage of me. I guess I come across as a person who will put up with a lot of abuse, because I was taught at such a young age to do so. I had to accept it with a smile on my face, I had no choice. (Then as a child).

Now I want to wear a pin or something that says, "Don't mess with me!" Lately it has been better, no one currently is messing with me, but I am not in a relationship or anything, and co-workers are behaving, so I am almost holding my breath, wondering how long this reprieve will last!

I understand this feeling-constantly waiting

My first trauma therapist taught me I don't see the people who'd be good for me like they're invisible. And I have a sign or pin that says "I want you to abuse me." She also said that'd go away but I have not really seen it yet. I'm better, I also hide a lot. I can't do anything with people around because it just starts all that up again. I'm happy to be a stay at home mom lol.

I’m afraid of both-being with others and being alone.

 

[Friday]

I’m afraid of both-being with others and being alone.

One of my rules in life is to do everything I’m afraid of.

One of the many side benefits of that is I’m not simply thrown in the deep end very often... because I’ve chosen to do it, practice it, get good at it on my own terms, even if I don’t like it... when I suddenly find myself there unplanned / due to circumstance? No worries.

 

[Sanctuary]

You asked what part of your trauma past or present makes you angry?
If any injustice is done to me now I'm like a volcano of rage.

How dare you think you can just push in front of me in the queue. ?
I will say something and make them move.

My anger is sometimes off the scale to the amount of disrespect/ lie someone has done to me.
But my anger is my strength.
It's my fight, my justice system highly alert to protect me to make sure no one is gonna take advantage

It can be used in a positive way.
If im fuming as hell, I would take the shears outside and cut that hedge to bits.
It is letting the adrenaline out, whilst not hurting my self or others.
Mind you, I'm usually in physical pain after with my back, but the anger is let out.

If I had a choice of sadness or anger I would choose anger. It is your fighting spirit
You're not on your knees crying in bed, your up with your shield and sword of justice so that no one will ever do that to you again.
I do understand it can be directly wrongly onto the ones with love.

Then you apologize and say my Queen of Rage took over.
My Queen of rage comes up on a daily basis.
Sometimes I've got a heart of gold and so much compassion. But a warrior lives within me too, she got me through.

 

[Mach123]

You asked what part of your trauma past or present makes you angry?
If any injustice is done to me now I'm like a volcano of rage.

How dare you think you can just push in front of me in the queue. ?
I will say something and make them move.

My anger is sometimes off the scale to the amount of disrespect/ lie someone has done to me.
But my anger is my strength.
It's my fight, my justice system highly alert to protect me to make sure no one is gonna take advantage

It can be used in a positive way.
If im fuming as hell, I would take the shears outside and cut that hedge to bits.
It is letting the adrenaline out, whilst not hurting my self or others.
Mind you, I'm usually in physical pain after with my back, but the anger is let out.

If I had a choice of sadness or anger I would choose anger. It is your fighting spirit
You're not on your knees crying in bed, your up with your shield and sword of justice so that no one will ever do that to you again.
I do understand it can be directly wrongly onto the ones with love.

Then you apologize and say my Queen of Rage took over.
My Queen of rage comes up on a daily basis.
Sometimes I've got a heart of gold and so much compassion. But a warrior lives within me too, she got me through.

This is how I was but I see those impulses differently now. I saw this picture of myself and I was "disarmed" and I was not afraid, not even of death. I was at a retreat and I told someone I didn't even know. It was like we had an appointment. That was the first time in my life I told someone i was a girl. I remember I said "I can see her, it's me." I was a being at war. I think the war is over now? I still have the cPTSD though.